Revoking driving license.
Discussion
Apologies for the spelling of license. I’m in the US but my father is in the UK.
Short version
Unfortunately, the time has come for my father to stop driving. But, he doesn’t see this and is refusing to stop. How do I get his lisence taken away?
You can skip to the comments now if you wish
Longer version and general reading
He is suffering from dementia and can’t handle the simplist tasks. I only see him once a year normally but this year I’ve seen him in September and now. The deterioration has been dramatic. I have been asking him not to drive for 2 years since he wrote off 2 cars and appeared in the local papers both times! First, he hit the back of a flat bed truck and they had to use a crane to get the truck off him before he could get out of the car. Second he rolled his car around a corner on a country lane. This was in the space of a couple of months.
Both times he walked away and the doctors said he was OK to drive again. They are wrong because they are only testing for one sense. His eyes may work and his arms may work but it’s his brain that can’t join the dots. It’s like he is missing a couple of dominos in his domino rally. His mind gets stuck. An example of this, he needed to walk around a bean bag. He first tried to move it but it was too heavy. He then tried to walk over it. I pointed out he could walk around it and he thought I meant he had to walk around the house. I stopped him and physically walked him around the bean bag where there was no obstruction and plenty of space.
He is only 73 but I’ve watched him deteriorate over the last 30+ years. It’s quite sad really. He does know he is having issues and he thinks he has been suffering in silence and he has covered so well we haven’t noticed. When I speak to him about his symptoms he agrees fully but when I link them to driving he gets very upset. Driving has always been his thing.
Oh, I have a beard for the first time ever. It’s big bushy and ginger. (I will admit it might not be a good fashion choice). He didn’t notice it for 2 days. He only realized I had a beard because someone else made a comment. It was like his eyes had been opened when he saw it.
It’s only a matter of time until he hurts someone. I told him when he does I wouldn’t forgive him. He just said he would think about it.
How do we stop him driving?
Short version
Unfortunately, the time has come for my father to stop driving. But, he doesn’t see this and is refusing to stop. How do I get his lisence taken away?
You can skip to the comments now if you wish
Longer version and general reading
He is suffering from dementia and can’t handle the simplist tasks. I only see him once a year normally but this year I’ve seen him in September and now. The deterioration has been dramatic. I have been asking him not to drive for 2 years since he wrote off 2 cars and appeared in the local papers both times! First, he hit the back of a flat bed truck and they had to use a crane to get the truck off him before he could get out of the car. Second he rolled his car around a corner on a country lane. This was in the space of a couple of months.
Both times he walked away and the doctors said he was OK to drive again. They are wrong because they are only testing for one sense. His eyes may work and his arms may work but it’s his brain that can’t join the dots. It’s like he is missing a couple of dominos in his domino rally. His mind gets stuck. An example of this, he needed to walk around a bean bag. He first tried to move it but it was too heavy. He then tried to walk over it. I pointed out he could walk around it and he thought I meant he had to walk around the house. I stopped him and physically walked him around the bean bag where there was no obstruction and plenty of space.
He is only 73 but I’ve watched him deteriorate over the last 30+ years. It’s quite sad really. He does know he is having issues and he thinks he has been suffering in silence and he has covered so well we haven’t noticed. When I speak to him about his symptoms he agrees fully but when I link them to driving he gets very upset. Driving has always been his thing.
Oh, I have a beard for the first time ever. It’s big bushy and ginger. (I will admit it might not be a good fashion choice). He didn’t notice it for 2 days. He only realized I had a beard because someone else made a comment. It was like his eyes had been opened when he saw it.
It’s only a matter of time until he hurts someone. I told him when he does I wouldn’t forgive him. He just said he would think about it.
How do we stop him driving?
Have to say I can sympathise with you and the decision you have to make. 73 is no age, I knew of people in their 80's still driving, FIL is 81 and while now a little uncertain in unfamiliar car parks (I think his spacial awareness is decreasing) he is bright as a button, still does Times Crossword and drives on the road perfectly well. My own Father was 82 when a young girl rammed him in the rear while he was stationary and which broke his confidence.
In your case it seems it' time to talk to the Doctor again, not sure if the Police cold help, whatever, he's going to take it badly, he'll no longer be able to just go anywhere at his convenience. But maybe getting taxis will work out cheaper long term as well as safer.
I'm 65 and dread the day I have to give up.
In your case it seems it' time to talk to the Doctor again, not sure if the Police cold help, whatever, he's going to take it badly, he'll no longer be able to just go anywhere at his convenience. But maybe getting taxis will work out cheaper long term as well as safer.
I'm 65 and dread the day I have to give up.
My Grandad was in his 90s and still drove fine but when it's time, it's time.
Wouldn't a visit to his GP be a good starting point? I understood that their recommendation is enough for a licence to be suspended or revoked?
Alternatively, find an excuse for him to need a taxi so he can get used to the idea and let that trigger the conversation about it being a sensible way forward.
Wouldn't a visit to his GP be a good starting point? I understood that their recommendation is enough for a licence to be suspended or revoked?
Alternatively, find an excuse for him to need a taxi so he can get used to the idea and let that trigger the conversation about it being a sensible way forward.
UpTheIron said:
Whilst I don't doubt he needs to stop driving, what is stopping you addressing the bigger issue?
The Atlantic. I’m in the US and he is in Northern England. It’s something I’m sure most people who emigrate struggle with as it does cause guilt particularly as they get older. At 73 he is young to be going through this so it’s coming earlier than expected. Edited by h0b0 on Friday 23 November 21:42
Hi,
Hope to help, send your account of your concerns to Drivers Medical at DVLA. Hopefully they'll open enquiries and get reports from the Drs involved. May involve a driving assessment.
Unfortunately the police won't be interested and practically it may involve losing the keys or taking a wheel for a puncture repair
Hope to help, send your account of your concerns to Drivers Medical at DVLA. Hopefully they'll open enquiries and get reports from the Drs involved. May involve a driving assessment.
Unfortunately the police won't be interested and practically it may involve losing the keys or taking a wheel for a puncture repair
I don't know if it fits the OP's situation, but my mother was still driving at 88. Not brilliantly, but as good as many I've seen (regardless of their age).
But by then her insurer had jacked the premium up to just over £500 a year for a 1.3 litre Fiesta, and nobody seemed keen to quote for new business from someone that age!
Then we noticed she had only done 500 miles between her last 2 MOTs, so pointed out that by the time she added in fuel, servicing, road tax, the cost of the MOT test, etc. it would be cheaper to just use cabs!
Being from a generation that was "careful" with money and finding a good "chauffeur" private hire firm (recent E-Class, rather than a sh*tty old Toyota or Nissan) convinced her without any big battle.
But I can see how it could be quite a challenge - good luck.
But by then her insurer had jacked the premium up to just over £500 a year for a 1.3 litre Fiesta, and nobody seemed keen to quote for new business from someone that age!
Then we noticed she had only done 500 miles between her last 2 MOTs, so pointed out that by the time she added in fuel, servicing, road tax, the cost of the MOT test, etc. it would be cheaper to just use cabs!
Being from a generation that was "careful" with money and finding a good "chauffeur" private hire firm (recent E-Class, rather than a sh*tty old Toyota or Nissan) convinced her without any big battle.
But I can see how it could be quite a challenge - good luck.
After each car was written off they reduced his insurance. It made no sense to me. His first car was a CRV worth 12k pounds. The second was a CRV worth 30k. He now has a civic and a very happy Honda dealer.
I’d love to use the doctor route but they are the ones giving him false hope. 2 minutes ago I saw him with the puzzled expression. I asked him what he needed and he said he didn’t know where his bedroom was. It’s literally in front of him. His next challenge was the light switch. Unfortunately, that defeated him.
I’m trying to use golf. His course is up a single track road. He admits he is too scared to drive up there so has paid his membership for 2 years and has not gone. I’m hoping to convince him to use a taxi.
I’d love to use the doctor route but they are the ones giving him false hope. 2 minutes ago I saw him with the puzzled expression. I asked him what he needed and he said he didn’t know where his bedroom was. It’s literally in front of him. His next challenge was the light switch. Unfortunately, that defeated him.
I’m trying to use golf. His course is up a single track road. He admits he is too scared to drive up there so has paid his membership for 2 years and has not gone. I’m hoping to convince him to use a taxi.
Op I feel your pain, my grandfather was driving up until he was 90, the last few years were scary for me as his spacial awareness wasn't what it had been, fortunately he failed the eye test so the choice was made for him. Unfortunately it also took away his independence & dented his pride, I don't know how quickly the DVLA will do something & it sounds like you need to have the talk with his doctor making your concerns known.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Phil Dicky said:
h0b0 said:
Thank you for the help. I have reported him.
Did the same with my Dad 3 years ago due to Alzheimer's. I reported mine when I realised how bad a driver he was; my Mum (a non-driver) was afraid to get into the car with him. His licence was revoked and he was livid, demanding to know who had reported him. However, within a few weeks he admitted he was pleased was no longer driving.
All his doctors have said he is 100%. Clearly they don’t want to be in a confrontational situation. This may be because he has known them for years and he lives in a rural location where everyone knows everyone. I’m hoping the involvement of the DVLA asking the question will force the matter.
He again lost his bedroom last night and has now given up on finding the light switch.
If I lived in the UK I would take his keys off him. Unfortunately, it’s at the point where I would risk my kids and me never seeing him again if it avoided an accident where someone else gets hurt. I told him that if he kills himself in a car crash that injured another person, my family would not be at his funeral. If that happens I will be carrying the sense of guilt with me.
He again lost his bedroom last night and has now given up on finding the light switch.
If I lived in the UK I would take his keys off him. Unfortunately, it’s at the point where I would risk my kids and me never seeing him again if it avoided an accident where someone else gets hurt. I told him that if he kills himself in a car crash that injured another person, my family would not be at his funeral. If that happens I will be carrying the sense of guilt with me.
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