Divorce

[red_slr]

A good friend of mine has split from his Mrs a few months ago. They are late 50s and all kids are grown up and left home.

She went off the rails over the last few years and was disappearing overnight with “friends” and generally being dodgy AF.

A few months ago she came to him and said she wanted a divorce, he said ok. She moved out.

She works part time and he works full time and owns his own company. He is worth a few quid, but it was his opinion that it’s a 50/50 split which he is ok with.

So they work out a figure and deduct debts and then divide by 2. She said she would get a solicitor to sort it on the gro7nds of relationship break down.

Now a solicitors letter has arrived and there are 2 problems.

First she has instructed them on the grounds of adulatory by him??? Does that have any impact on the settlements? She is the rouge here, she even tried it on with me!!

Second suddenly the value of their assets has gone up 30%.

She has rang him and said if he does not agree to this she will come after his business. It’s a ltd and he is the sole share holder.

I appreciate there won’t be a simple answer but anyone care to advise where he might stand?

The issue is compounded by covid.

[megaphone]

He needs to get a solicitor. It will be messy and the solicitors will string it out and take their pound of flesh.

[Johnnytheboy]

Get value of house assessed directly after lockdown. Should save a quid or two!

[red_slr]

megaphone said:

He needs to get a solicitor. It will be messy and the solicitors will string it out and take their pound of flesh.

Yeah this is what he was wanting to avoid. How much is it likely to cost? The assets are probably IRO £1m.

[megaphone]

red_slr said:

megaphone said:

He needs to get a solicitor. It will be messy and the solicitors will string it out and take their pound of flesh.

Yeah this is what he was wanting to avoid. How much is it likely to cost? The assets are probably IRO £1m.

My mate has spent £15K and it's still ongoing 5 years later, kids involved though. His recent bill was £800 for a few letters and some sort of legal hearing.

[Drl22]

As others have said a solicitor is essential here, as is having the assets officially valued. The most concerning point is he should not allow her to file for divorce under the grounds of him being adulterous, that would not optic well if this ever did get to court.

[Monkeylegend]

Unless of course he has been and OP doesn't know.

Always three sides to every divorce.

[red_slr]

We know each other very well so highly unlikely he did anything. I appreciate no absolute in this

[Starfighter]

I was told that the reason does not matter in the context of blame as there is no fault as such and has no bearing on finances. There is a short list of reasons that are acceptable and adulatory is on that list. Relationship breakdown needS to be proven which involves years of time and supporting evidence.

Alternatively your friend now has a pass to go out and get some council lass behind the bins at ‘Spoons.

[Monkeylegend]

red_slr said:

We know each other very well so highly unlikely he did anything. I appreciate no absolute in this

As much as it grates it sounds like he needs some professional advice to help a fair division of assets.


Even agreeing to a 50/50 now could turn nasty further down the line so he needs to make sure she can't come back to him for more after an initial settlement, so they probably need something like a clean break agreement, assuming such things still exist.

I can't see how he can sensibly avoid legal advice with so much involved when is she is already making untrue accusations. It will only get worse as time progresses.

Edited by Monkeylegend on Sunday 19th April 10:26

[Drl22]

Starfighter said:

I was told that the reason does not matter in the context of blame as there is no fault as such and has no bearing on finances. There is a short list of reasons that are acceptable and adulatory is on that list. Relationship breakdown needS to be proven which involves years of time and supporting evidence.

Alternatively your friend now has a pass to go out and get some council lass behind the bins at ‘Spoons.

Even if that’s true, and I’m not saying it isn’t, I wouldn’t want to find out my judge in the case is a feminist who takes a dim view of the adulterous man with his loyal housewife who has been spurned after raising their kids to adulthood and been hung out to dry by a man chasing a young bit of skirt to satisfy his desires.

This is what lawyers will ultimately resort to if it was to go that far. Better to just tick the no fault irreparable breakdown option.

[Sophisticated Sarah]

I’m guessing it’s a mix of mental games to break him down, and ammo for the court if it gets nasty.

[theboss]

I’m no lawyer but I believe the grounds on which the petition is served bears no relation to the outcome, unless he has strayed and she knows it, it sounds like more of a tit-for-tat thing designed to aggravate. The courts aren’t really interested in the grubby details.

It’s simpler to cite grounds of unreasonable behaviour which I did on my solicitor’s advice even though it was a clear case of adultery on her part.

If it’s true he could avoid a further headache by just agreeing to it. Otherwise he could contest it. I’m not sure what happens after that because I was advised not to go down that road by ticking that box.

I also understood that adultery needs to be proven if contested - not sure how you would do that exactly.

It also sounds like he’s started off on a reasonable assumption she will get 50% of everything, but it takes two reasonable-headed parties for a clean divorce unfortunately. One isn’t enough.

Edited by theboss on Sunday 19th April 11:22

Edited by theboss on Sunday 19th April 11:25

[Brave Fart]

Valuing a limited company is notoriously difficult - do you look at net assets, dividends or profits for example? There may be the issue of pensions if they are in their fifties; she will want her share of his pension's value, and that can be tricky to establish. Then of course, the house - property values must have dipped recently.

All in all, it sounds like he needs expert advice, if only to avoid getting clobbered financially.
Would she agree to some sort of mediation? An amicable agreement may still be possible.
Finally, I doubt the grounds for the divorce would be "adulatory", quite the opposite! "Adultery", perhaps. Sorry, couldn't resist.

[hutchst]

I'm intrigued how the matter is compounded by COVID.

[SmoothCriminal]

How can he honestly have thought he could navigate this without a solicitor after the way the separation came about even if she agreed 50/50 she would have been back for more.

Now she has a solicitor he doesn't have a choice anymore.

[MB140]

When I went through my divorce (10 years ago), my wife was seeing somebody else. My solicitor said the reason makes not one bit of difference to the divorce settlement.

I would advocate a decent solicitor quickly. Get assets valued straight away. Be honest. Don’t get caught lying about your assets. If you get caught your going to get fked big time.

Best wishes. Mine was amicable. Didn’t involve kids of mine and only really debt division. My ex wife spent money hand over fist and was one of the reasons for divorce. She had been on sugar daddy.com and is now married to one of the riches guys in Denmark. She’s not hurting let’s put it that way. Even back then with no assets and no kids it was a pita.

[Amateurish]

red_slr said:

megaphone said:

He needs to get a solicitor. It will be messy and the solicitors will string it out and take their pound of flesh.

Yeah this is what he was wanting to avoid. How much is it likely to cost? The assets are probably IRO £1m.

It depends how far down the litigation route he goes. Tens of thousands to go all the way to a final hearing.

[Amateurish]

megaphone said:

He needs to get a solicitor. It will be messy and the solicitors will string it out and take their pound of flesh.

Funnily enough, from our point of view, it's usually the other way round. Clients refusing to take a reasonable settlement and instead continuing to fight on a "point of principle".

[anonymous-user]

Brave Fart said:

There may be the issue of pensions if they are in their fifties; she will want her share of his pension's value, and that can be tricky to establish.

Or maybe not.
Pals x (nearly) went down this route in 'the big grab' after being offered half.
They had to pay about £1500 quid each to have it assessed.
All in all she got less and had to pay £1500 for the pleasure