Child custody MIAM and C100 process

[PostHeads123]

Splitting my partner not married, have a 4 yr old son, we both own property in sole names. I want as much custody as I can get not out of spite but the main reason we are splitting is her drinking problem - most nights she in no fit state to look after a child, I do everything a mum should do as she too pissed to do it, there have been so many incidents I've lost count.

Anyway she said she will move out mid May with my son as her place became unexpectedly available so I'm short on time and Covid is going on. I want a formal agreement as best I can around the child care and maintenance and 50/50 shared custody as a minimum. Looking online I see before court I would need to do a MIAM (mediation and information assessment meeting) then if we cant agree we do court, I very much doubt she would do a MIAM but its looks like I have to at least arrange this first.

Anyone else been through this process and any advice, I worried now she will just take my son mid May and because of Covid I cant see the MIAM being easy to arrange if at all possible and same with the court ?

Anyone got any recommendations for family solicitors in around Hertfordshire ?

thanks

Edited by PostHeads123 on Tuesday 28th April 15:42

Edited by PostHeads123 on Tuesday 28th April 15:43

[theboss]

Have you tried setting an expectation around equal shared care - if so how did she take it?

It's great if you can make it work with both parents being co-operative and reasonable, though with her behaviour as described that may be wishful thinking.

There's also a question of maintenance. I had a perfect equal shared care arrangement going in the aftermath of my separation and subsequent divorce, until the moment she realised she had no maintenance claim arising. After that the contact arrangements were determined by her, unilaterally.

If you find yourself in any situation where co-operation breaks down, or if you can't trust her to stick to any informal agreement, you'll need to look at formalising arrangements by way of a child arrangements order.

It would definitely be worth seeking legal advice now, as it may be in your interests to set out concerns about her drinking from the outset.

I don't know the answer to the issue around MIAM with current restrictions - in any case we seemed to have been able to sidestep this. I attended a MIAM and got the document to say I had been. I don't know what contact she had with the mediation centre afterwards but for some reason the box must have been ticked to say that mediation wasn't an option.

Edited by theboss on Tuesday 28th April 17:48

[anonymous-user]

Solicitor location not all that important - have a look on legal 500 and Chambers and Partners for recommendations, or PM me for ideas. There is also at least one specialist family lawyer here, but I cannot recall his or her name.

You can mediate or negotiate directly, without court proceedings. Talking always better than fighting.

As for the drinking problem, has your partner taken any counselling for this? Alcoholism is a disease but it can be recovered from. Could the relationship survive if your partner tackles the drink problem?

[anonymous-user]

PS: Genuine well done for being a good dad. I merely add that "everything a mum should do" isn't, er, a very 21st century thing to say.