Sexual abuse. Claim against a deceased estate.
Discussion
Advice if it’s possible?
From the age of 9 to about 14 both my brother and I were raped on a regular basis. Stepfather is now dead.
I’ve constantly looked at his next family enjoying life.
He left many properties in London to them. But nothing to my Mum or brother.
My brother died 6 years ago from an accident but there’s still a thought of suicide. Possibly because it became all too much for him?
For me? It’s remembering being held down at the age of 12, being smashed because I lost a ticket.
And then, sitting on a toilet, wiping cum off myself and being asked are you ok? At the age of 12.
Apologies if that’s a bit strong.
This s
t happens.
From the age of 9 to about 14 both my brother and I were raped on a regular basis. Stepfather is now dead.
I’ve constantly looked at his next family enjoying life.
He left many properties in London to them. But nothing to my Mum or brother.
My brother died 6 years ago from an accident but there’s still a thought of suicide. Possibly because it became all too much for him?
For me? It’s remembering being held down at the age of 12, being smashed because I lost a ticket.
And then, sitting on a toilet, wiping cum off myself and being asked are you ok? At the age of 12.
Apologies if that’s a bit strong.
This s
t happens. Edited by TVR1 on Monday 8th March 17:11
Without any criminal case against him your hopes are very slim.
Certainly one only for a specialist solicitor dealing with claims on an estate.
The big issue is he's dead.
Also secondly if you haven't had any professional help with dealing with the inevitable psychological fall out of a childhood of severe abuse, then it might be worth seeking it as pursuing something like this is going to dig it all up again.
Certainly one only for a specialist solicitor dealing with claims on an estate.
The big issue is he's dead.
Also secondly if you haven't had any professional help with dealing with the inevitable psychological fall out of a childhood of severe abuse, then it might be worth seeking it as pursuing something like this is going to dig it all up again.
TVR1 said:
markiii said:
it may or may not be possible but I'd expect you to need evidence, if your brother can't corroborate and stepfather is dead do you have any?
I’ll go with my testimony.It’s not a criminal situation.
Civil case standards may support me.
markiii said:
TVR1 said:
markiii said:
it may or may not be possible but I'd expect you to need evidence, if your brother can't corroborate and stepfather is dead do you have any?
I’ll go with my testimony.It’s not a criminal situation.
Civil case standards may support me.
Silence.
TVR1 said:
markiii said:
TVR1 said:
markiii said:
it may or may not be possible but I'd expect you to need evidence, if your brother can't corroborate and stepfather is dead do you have any?
I’ll go with my testimony.It’s not a criminal situation.
Civil case standards may support me.
Silence.
It’s around £4 million estate. A few houses but there’s a Holland and Holland pair of shotguns that we bought together that disappeared.
All of my school books and letters from 8 years old.
It’s my history that’s been deleted.
Hi OP
Utterly horrendous.
I cannot advise, but my starting point would be a call to a firm like these:
https://www.duncanlewis.co.uk/Sexual-And-Physical-...
I’ve no affiliation and others appear in Google. The link above may have some helpful info, but a call to them or similar should get you speaking to someone who works in that area and can tell you what the likelihood of any claim is.
Irwin Mitchell and Slater + Gordon are also national firms that do this work.
Best wishes to you
Utterly horrendous.
I cannot advise, but my starting point would be a call to a firm like these:
https://www.duncanlewis.co.uk/Sexual-And-Physical-...
I’ve no affiliation and others appear in Google. The link above may have some helpful info, but a call to them or similar should get you speaking to someone who works in that area and can tell you what the likelihood of any claim is.
Irwin Mitchell and Slater + Gordon are also national firms that do this work.
Best wishes to you
Horrific to hear you went though this. I deal on a daily basis primarily with sexual abuse and rape cases in my role with the Police and a lot of cases have been directed to the Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority. I appreciate this doesn't answer your question, however as an aside you may be entitled to compensation if this abuse has been reported to the police.
https://cica-criminal-injury-uk.com/?utm_source=go...
https://cica-criminal-injury-uk.com/?utm_source=go...
Sorry to say that I can’t add much to this apart from you have my deepest sympathy and don’t give up persuing this scum bags estate.
Could you speak to his other family and establish if he assaulted any of them ?
Re the Shotguns, my Late Dad was a Firearms expert gun dealer and champion clay pigeon shot, he had frequent contact with Holland and Holland, those shotguns are £ valuable and desirable.
Could you speak to his other family and establish if he assaulted any of them ?
Re the Shotguns, my Late Dad was a Firearms expert gun dealer and champion clay pigeon shot, he had frequent contact with Holland and Holland, those shotguns are £ valuable and desirable.
Christ, sorry to hear that.
You need proper legal advice from a professional with genuine experience in this area.
There are some very complex legal issues involved and the first issue will be getting over the legal limitation period (normally the later of 3 years from the date of the abuse, or from when you turned 18 - this can be extended if there is good reason for the delay) and ensuring that steps are taken to protect your position as soon as possible.
I would suggest that you contact one of the support charities (such as https://napac.org.uk/contact/) as they will have contacts with suitable firms.
As someone above stated, make sure you have proper support mechanisms in place as you will be required to disclose extremely personal details about these incidents. I cannot begin to imagine how hard that must be be.
Good luck.
You need proper legal advice from a professional with genuine experience in this area.
There are some very complex legal issues involved and the first issue will be getting over the legal limitation period (normally the later of 3 years from the date of the abuse, or from when you turned 18 - this can be extended if there is good reason for the delay) and ensuring that steps are taken to protect your position as soon as possible.
I would suggest that you contact one of the support charities (such as https://napac.org.uk/contact/) as they will have contacts with suitable firms.
As someone above stated, make sure you have proper support mechanisms in place as you will be required to disclose extremely personal details about these incidents. I cannot begin to imagine how hard that must be be.
Good luck.
I'm going to put this in the simplest and coldest terms possible because there's no way there's enough lipstick in the world for the pig of a situation you find yourself in, but...
Assuming it was a reasonably long time ago, and assuming that your life isn't particularly unpleasant now, be cautious of going down the rabbit hole. It doesn't sound like your history is particularly one you want to revisit in any real detail, and all that stands to be gained with any certainty is a litany of mental health issues owing to a fairly unpleasant time. There is not enough money in the world that would want me to replay any of that in my head, if you assume that you're not particularly likely to succeed and that any success would be measured in "reasonable" not "significant" sums (4 million isn't a lot when you fight a case and split what's left, particularly as you're the "previous" family) I think you'll achieve very little more than to make yourself mentally unwell.
I'm not a lawyer, but purely from the mental health and maths perspective I don't see this as being particularly beneficial for you unless you're in a council home living off a food bank. Even then I'd question whether digging it back up if you've at least managed to bury it if not process it is worth any kind of reward.
Assuming it was a reasonably long time ago, and assuming that your life isn't particularly unpleasant now, be cautious of going down the rabbit hole. It doesn't sound like your history is particularly one you want to revisit in any real detail, and all that stands to be gained with any certainty is a litany of mental health issues owing to a fairly unpleasant time. There is not enough money in the world that would want me to replay any of that in my head, if you assume that you're not particularly likely to succeed and that any success would be measured in "reasonable" not "significant" sums (4 million isn't a lot when you fight a case and split what's left, particularly as you're the "previous" family) I think you'll achieve very little more than to make yourself mentally unwell.
I'm not a lawyer, but purely from the mental health and maths perspective I don't see this as being particularly beneficial for you unless you're in a council home living off a food bank. Even then I'd question whether digging it back up if you've at least managed to bury it if not process it is worth any kind of reward.
Have you even seen the will? Surely on an estate that size it will have gone through probate which will have been completed by now.
The will should therefore be publically accessible. If there was no probate then unless he disposed of assets properly before his death, then there is a good chance someone broke the law. The moneys probably long gone by now though so not sure what benefit there is to pursuing it?
The will should therefore be publically accessible. If there was no probate then unless he disposed of assets properly before his death, then there is a good chance someone broke the law. The moneys probably long gone by now though so not sure what benefit there is to pursuing it?
Hi TVR1,
Nothing to contribute re the legal and financial aspects but I'm going to echo the comments about looking after your mental health as this sort of thing really can hit you when you start to delve into it.
From the ages of 8-16 my dad was violent to me, my brother and sometimes my mum. Very nice to everyone outside the family, really narcissistic. I've no doubt he loved us, it was very confusing.
The violence was never really forgotten, the memory was resurrected when he was being verbally abusive to my mum when I was 27. I snapped, and whilst I wasn't violent I made sure he knew I was now stronger than him. Following that he ended up vowing never to speak to me again.
A month later he had a massive stroke and after he recovered he claimed to remember nothing about the earlier violence. All I wanted was an acknowledgement, maybe an apology, to ask him "why?!", but instead he says it didn't happen (except the rest of my family also remember the events).
So, I feel that I've never truly had closure. I can live with that now but it messed with my head for a while.
With the greatest of respect, what you went through is orders of magnitude worse, and I can well believe the feelings you dig up will be also. I'd suggest you seek counseling before you go any further, and explain to the professional that you want to work through those issues as well as follow up on the will/financial aspects. That latter part won't flag up some "he's trying it on" marker, but it will ensure they know what you are trying to prepare yourself for.
It takes strength and courage to acknowledge what you have been through. You have my sympathy for what you have endured, but also my admiration for being able to deal with your demons head on. Good luck, chap.
Nothing to contribute re the legal and financial aspects but I'm going to echo the comments about looking after your mental health as this sort of thing really can hit you when you start to delve into it.
From the ages of 8-16 my dad was violent to me, my brother and sometimes my mum. Very nice to everyone outside the family, really narcissistic. I've no doubt he loved us, it was very confusing.
The violence was never really forgotten, the memory was resurrected when he was being verbally abusive to my mum when I was 27. I snapped, and whilst I wasn't violent I made sure he knew I was now stronger than him. Following that he ended up vowing never to speak to me again.
A month later he had a massive stroke and after he recovered he claimed to remember nothing about the earlier violence. All I wanted was an acknowledgement, maybe an apology, to ask him "why?!", but instead he says it didn't happen (except the rest of my family also remember the events).
So, I feel that I've never truly had closure. I can live with that now but it messed with my head for a while.
With the greatest of respect, what you went through is orders of magnitude worse, and I can well believe the feelings you dig up will be also. I'd suggest you seek counseling before you go any further, and explain to the professional that you want to work through those issues as well as follow up on the will/financial aspects. That latter part won't flag up some "he's trying it on" marker, but it will ensure they know what you are trying to prepare yourself for.
It takes strength and courage to acknowledge what you have been through. You have my sympathy for what you have endured, but also my admiration for being able to deal with your demons head on. Good luck, chap.
donkmeister said:
Hi TVR1,
Nothing to contribute re the legal and financial aspects but I'm going to echo the comments about looking after your mental health as this sort of thing really can hit you when you start to delve into it.
From the ages of 8-16 my dad was violent to me, my brother and sometimes my mum. Very nice to everyone outside the family, really narcissistic. I've no doubt he loved us, it was very confusing.
The violence was never really forgotten, the memory was resurrected when he was being verbally abusive to my mum when I was 27. I snapped, and whilst I wasn't violent I made sure he knew I was now stronger than him. Following that he ended up vowing never to speak to me again.
A month later he had a massive stroke and after he recovered he claimed to remember nothing about the earlier violence. All I wanted was an acknowledgement, maybe an apology, to ask him "why?!", but instead he says it didn't happen (except the rest of my family also remember the events).
So, I feel that I've never truly had closure. I can live with that now but it messed with my head for a while.
With the greatest of respect, what you went through is orders of magnitude worse, and I can well believe the feelings you dig up will be also. I'd suggest you seek counseling before you go any further, and explain to the professional that you want to work through those issues as well as follow up on the will/financial aspects. That latter part won't flag up some "he's trying it on" marker, but it will ensure they know what you are trying to prepare yourself for.
It takes strength and courage to acknowledge what you have been through. You have my sympathy for what you have endured, but also my admiration for being able to deal with your demons head on. Good luck, chap.
Very well said, sir. Nothing to contribute re the legal and financial aspects but I'm going to echo the comments about looking after your mental health as this sort of thing really can hit you when you start to delve into it.
From the ages of 8-16 my dad was violent to me, my brother and sometimes my mum. Very nice to everyone outside the family, really narcissistic. I've no doubt he loved us, it was very confusing.
The violence was never really forgotten, the memory was resurrected when he was being verbally abusive to my mum when I was 27. I snapped, and whilst I wasn't violent I made sure he knew I was now stronger than him. Following that he ended up vowing never to speak to me again.
A month later he had a massive stroke and after he recovered he claimed to remember nothing about the earlier violence. All I wanted was an acknowledgement, maybe an apology, to ask him "why?!", but instead he says it didn't happen (except the rest of my family also remember the events).
So, I feel that I've never truly had closure. I can live with that now but it messed with my head for a while.
With the greatest of respect, what you went through is orders of magnitude worse, and I can well believe the feelings you dig up will be also. I'd suggest you seek counseling before you go any further, and explain to the professional that you want to work through those issues as well as follow up on the will/financial aspects. That latter part won't flag up some "he's trying it on" marker, but it will ensure they know what you are trying to prepare yourself for.
It takes strength and courage to acknowledge what you have been through. You have my sympathy for what you have endured, but also my admiration for being able to deal with your demons head on. Good luck, chap.
Good luck with whatever decision you make, OP.
TVR1 said:
Estate I think has been settled. He died 4 years ago. I’ve questioned the executors of the estate multiple times about me, mum, brother, etc.
Silence.
I´d be surprised if the estate hadn´t been settled within 4 years of his death so if all the assets have been realised, HMRC paid off and the balance of the assets distributed in accordance with the terms of his will, there will be nothing to claim against.Silence.
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