Any family lawyer on here? Taking stepson abroad....
Discussion
Myself & other half have been together for 3 and a bit years. We have 2 sons- my 12 year old stepson from her 1st marriage and we had a boy together who's 2 years old.
We are wanting to move to one of the Greek Islands permanently. A combination of better weather, an International school for my sons to go to, and owning 2 properties in the UK feels like the right choice for us.
I would sell the UK property and buy a house cash in Greece. I would also keep my investment property in the UK for additional income. Additionally, my mum would follow- and we would combine our resources to buy 2 houses and perhaps a holiday let house also. We would have about €480,000 to spend.
Her ex husband never sees his child, he's simply not interested. Also the court called last week to let us know that they'd been domestic abuse in his latest relationship although he never touched my partner.
I find it astounding that I would have to spend £10,000+ to go through the courts for us to be legally entitled for us all to move to Crete. Why on earth has such a waste of space of a human being got such control over our lives??
I have a son too with my partner- why should he decide on where we should live? The law just doesn't make sense?
We are wanting to move to one of the Greek Islands permanently. A combination of better weather, an International school for my sons to go to, and owning 2 properties in the UK feels like the right choice for us.
I would sell the UK property and buy a house cash in Greece. I would also keep my investment property in the UK for additional income. Additionally, my mum would follow- and we would combine our resources to buy 2 houses and perhaps a holiday let house also. We would have about €480,000 to spend.
Her ex husband never sees his child, he's simply not interested. Also the court called last week to let us know that they'd been domestic abuse in his latest relationship although he never touched my partner.
I find it astounding that I would have to spend £10,000+ to go through the courts for us to be legally entitled for us all to move to Crete. Why on earth has such a waste of space of a human being got such control over our lives??
I have a son too with my partner- why should he decide on where we should live? The law just doesn't make sense?
I would try and detach yourself emotionally and consider it part of the process, just like buying your new house, organising logistics of moving and complying with whatever legal processes are required on the other side. It's time, stress, hassle and money but it's a legal requirement and a necessary formality. I assume your stepson has his own decisive opinion about where he'd rather spend his time?
A little bit of an anecdote I had to do the opposite and secure visas for my wife and stepdaughter when moving them to the UK. My wife had raised her daughter with the father having limited contact. Actually despite his initial protest, with our assurances about the child's wellbeing in a foreign country and our willingness to ensure she would still visit in school holidays at our cost, he eventually agreed to waive any rights he had on the matter and allow her to live with us. Papers signed in the court. UK authorities accepted that the child must live with us. Done and dusted. He died a few months later as a direct result of poor life decisions. I'm glad we did it all amicably and with his blessing, for what its worth.
Instead of going immediately adversarial and 'full legal' on the matter why not approach the guy respectfully, make sure he knows how keen (presumably) his son is for this move, outline the quality of life and education this move offers, and see if you can get him to see sense and agree. It might just work.
In any case, definitely seek qualified legal advice.
The laws around international relocation make absolute sense if you see them from other parent's perspectives. You can't have one parent unilaterally whisk a child out of the country for good, without the other parent's say so.
A little bit of an anecdote I had to do the opposite and secure visas for my wife and stepdaughter when moving them to the UK. My wife had raised her daughter with the father having limited contact. Actually despite his initial protest, with our assurances about the child's wellbeing in a foreign country and our willingness to ensure she would still visit in school holidays at our cost, he eventually agreed to waive any rights he had on the matter and allow her to live with us. Papers signed in the court. UK authorities accepted that the child must live with us. Done and dusted. He died a few months later as a direct result of poor life decisions. I'm glad we did it all amicably and with his blessing, for what its worth.
Instead of going immediately adversarial and 'full legal' on the matter why not approach the guy respectfully, make sure he knows how keen (presumably) his son is for this move, outline the quality of life and education this move offers, and see if you can get him to see sense and agree. It might just work.
In any case, definitely seek qualified legal advice.
The laws around international relocation make absolute sense if you see them from other parent's perspectives. You can't have one parent unilaterally whisk a child out of the country for good, without the other parent's say so.
Edited by theboss on Monday 17th May 19:20
I am indeed french. I have dual nationality. Also my other is polish and so are the kids. So definitely no issue in that regard.
Just ringing round solicitors to ask for opinion but it seems like it could cost a fair packet going through the courts.
Our only hope is that the father agrees- we’re seeing him Thursday but I reckon it’s highly unlikely he’ll agree…
Just ringing round solicitors to ask for opinion but it seems like it could cost a fair packet going through the courts.
Our only hope is that the father agrees- we’re seeing him Thursday but I reckon it’s highly unlikely he’ll agree…
Good luck then Dave, hope you attain the dream. I wish I'd got off this wet rock before the kids were too far in to their educations to make the jump. Hoping to go in retirement now (like you I'm a dual EU national).
You'll forgive me for wondering if a bloke called Leicester Dave was anything other than pure 100% English!
You'll forgive me for wondering if a bloke called Leicester Dave was anything other than pure 100% English!
Good luck. Personally I would
1) treat him as an equal parent whose co-operation and approval you are seeking
2) stress the lifestyle opportunity / benefits for the child not yourselves
3) reassure you will facilitate and encourage contact
4) give him time to sleep on it, don't pile on the pressure. He might react badly but loosen up on reflection and with mum/relatives telling him maybe its for the kids best interests (who wouldn't want to have done the same at that age)
As I said above, it worked for me, when I expected worst case. I think the worst you can do is make people feel patronised or threatened and then it becomes all about them stopping you in your tracks, rather than what's best for the child.
If he's a dick about it, you can proceed with the legal route.
1) treat him as an equal parent whose co-operation and approval you are seeking
2) stress the lifestyle opportunity / benefits for the child not yourselves
3) reassure you will facilitate and encourage contact
4) give him time to sleep on it, don't pile on the pressure. He might react badly but loosen up on reflection and with mum/relatives telling him maybe its for the kids best interests (who wouldn't want to have done the same at that age)
As I said above, it worked for me, when I expected worst case. I think the worst you can do is make people feel patronised or threatened and then it becomes all about them stopping you in your tracks, rather than what's best for the child.
If he's a dick about it, you can proceed with the legal route.
Edited by theboss on Tuesday 18th May 14:41
Hope it all works out for you and your family OP, but I have to say I can't believe your complaining about spending £10k to make it happen when you've the fat end of half a mil to spend when you get there. If it were me I'd consider the £10k the best money spent out of the whole move.
Antony Moxey said:
Hope it all works out for you and your family OP, but I have to say I can't believe your complaining about spending £10k to make it happen when you've the fat end of half a mil to spend when you get there. If it were me I'd consider the £10k the best money spent out of the whole move.
Technically yes. I have €250,000 Euros.My mother has £200,000 to spend. So it's a combined effort.
If everything was to work out, then yes, I can see the move being of benefit for all of us and it could be a good life. But it seems a long road to get there- the father issue being the real tricky one.
£10k seems an awful lot of money to me- especially as there is no guarantee it'll go our way!
GreatGranny said:
OP, sorry can't help wit the legal issue but do you need to get residency to move permanently to Greece?
Is the criteria more relaxed than Spain re. taxation, health cover, guaranteed income etc..
You do. If you have €250 000 to invest in property you're automatically a resident as well as your immediate family.Is the criteria more relaxed than Spain re. taxation, health cover, guaranteed income etc..
We have that UK investment property to help with money as well as another potential investment in Crete which would generate another healthy income.
I work online as a tutor so I don't need to earn megabucks- another help is that we'll obviously own a house outright over there.
I'd still be nervous as it a big move- but as long as we can get the father 'thing' sorted I know it would be a positive move for everyone. I used to love spending the old cash on clothes and general crap but since being a dad I know just favour a much simpler way of living. Hell even a battered old Eurobox will do for us over there!
Update to this is that there is a little surprise!
Other half & Stepson had a chat while I was sat in the car for a good hour waiting for them.
He is apparently giving his blessing (which is VERY unexpected) but on the condition that his son obtains a British passport.
On paper this seems reasonable ( although seems a bit of Jason Statham film type demand!!) but I just don't trust the guy so I only feel cautiously optimistic...
Other half & Stepson had a chat while I was sat in the car for a good hour waiting for them.
He is apparently giving his blessing (which is VERY unexpected) but on the condition that his son obtains a British passport.
On paper this seems reasonable ( although seems a bit of Jason Statham film type demand!!) but I just don't trust the guy so I only feel cautiously optimistic...
Leicesterdave said:
Update to this is that there is a little surprise!
Other half & Stepson had a chat while I was sat in the car for a good hour waiting for them.
He is apparently giving his blessing (which is VERY unexpected) but on the condition that his son obtains a British passport.
On paper this seems reasonable ( although seems a bit of Jason Statham film type demand!!) but I just don't trust the guy so I only feel cautiously optimistic...
Sounds promising, fingers crossed. Other half & Stepson had a chat while I was sat in the car for a good hour waiting for them.
He is apparently giving his blessing (which is VERY unexpected) but on the condition that his son obtains a British passport.
On paper this seems reasonable ( although seems a bit of Jason Statham film type demand!!) but I just don't trust the guy so I only feel cautiously optimistic...
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