Can a parental will be challenged?
Discussion
CharlesdeGaulle said:
This response is probably as predictable as it is unhelpful, but why does 'your friend' care?
If he is as ambivalent to family as is suggested, just let them decide how to disburse their assets after death as they see fit and leave them to it.
Two reasons.If he is as ambivalent to family as is suggested, just let them decide how to disburse their assets after death as they see fit and leave them to it.
If the fabled millions do exist, he'd quite like to stop the sister grabbing the entire lot for herself.
Not being a typical Pistonheads powerfully built director, a couple of million quid would always be quite welcome.
Seems like you want your cake and eat it 
You clearly want as little as possible to do with your family but want a share of the spoils. Sometimes life doesn't work like that and you only get out what you are prepared to put in.
Have you actually seen the will or are you just surmising what is going to happen?
Sorry I really did mean your friend.
You clearly want as little as possible to do with your family but want a share of the spoils. Sometimes life doesn't work like that and you only get out what you are prepared to put in.
Have you actually seen the will or are you just surmising what is going to happen?
Sorry I really did mean your friend.
Here's my story, very abridged.
I was adopted as a baby in the 60s. My birth mother was unmarried and was virtually forced to give me up. Step in two school teachers. My adoptive mother was the one that wanted me, my adoptive father was brought up by women, his mother, grandmother and then his wife. He is the typical misogynistic 90yo. I was never close to my adoptive father, a bit closer to my adoptive mother who died in 2010. From that moment on, my adoptive father started making quite negative and hurtful comments. I put up with it for the sake of peace. 2015, and I'm divorcing my alcoholic wife. He is no support at all. In 2017, he sends a photocopy of a letter from his solicitor claiming all the expenses incurred in bringing me up. It's all listed, itemised. I ignore. Then I get a letter threatening court action. I ignore that too. In 2019 I get a letter with a copy of his will stating that he is leaving me just £10,000 as long as I don't contest his will. The rest will be left to his cleaner and my son. I too have apparently not ticked the correct boxes. I am as shady as and not to be trusted. Despite putting my son through public school and running a successful business.
I haven't spoken to him since that letter and have no intention of ever doing so again. He can die in his favourite chair swimming in his own piss and s
t for all I care.
TL;DR
Just get on with your life and leave them to it. Don't let them try and ruin your own life.
I was adopted as a baby in the 60s. My birth mother was unmarried and was virtually forced to give me up. Step in two school teachers. My adoptive mother was the one that wanted me, my adoptive father was brought up by women, his mother, grandmother and then his wife. He is the typical misogynistic 90yo. I was never close to my adoptive father, a bit closer to my adoptive mother who died in 2010. From that moment on, my adoptive father started making quite negative and hurtful comments. I put up with it for the sake of peace. 2015, and I'm divorcing my alcoholic wife. He is no support at all. In 2017, he sends a photocopy of a letter from his solicitor claiming all the expenses incurred in bringing me up. It's all listed, itemised. I ignore. Then I get a letter threatening court action. I ignore that too. In 2019 I get a letter with a copy of his will stating that he is leaving me just £10,000 as long as I don't contest his will. The rest will be left to his cleaner and my son. I too have apparently not ticked the correct boxes. I am as shady as and not to be trusted. Despite putting my son through public school and running a successful business.
I haven't spoken to him since that letter and have no intention of ever doing so again. He can die in his favourite chair swimming in his own piss and s
t for all I care.TL;DR
Just get on with your life and leave them to it. Don't let them try and ruin your own life.
Funnily enough I’m not in an entirely dissimilar position.
I have resolved to let my sister get on with it. I’ll take what I’m given and if that’s nothing, that’s fine. My parents get on better with her and she has done far more for them over the years - spending time with them, paying for holidays and just generally being their friend (out of love) - than I have so why shouldn’t they choose to leave more to her?
My parents are of sound mind and so as long as any decision they make about what to do with their assets built over two lifetimes of double hard graft is theirs alone, it’d be highly morally dubious to challenge it, even if I had been a model son and even if it were legally possible.
I have resolved to let my sister get on with it. I’ll take what I’m given and if that’s nothing, that’s fine. My parents get on better with her and she has done far more for them over the years - spending time with them, paying for holidays and just generally being their friend (out of love) - than I have so why shouldn’t they choose to leave more to her?
My parents are of sound mind and so as long as any decision they make about what to do with their assets built over two lifetimes of double hard graft is theirs alone, it’d be highly morally dubious to challenge it, even if I had been a model son and even if it were legally possible.
Assuming his parents are of sound mind when they make their will and there is no real undue influence he has pretty much zero chance. He would need to show he was dependent on them or had some other equitable claim (he was caring for them in some way and reducing his income as a result for example), neither of which seem to be the case. England has no “forced heirship” rules - they could leave it to the cats home if they wanted to.
In the event that things turn out as he fears he may find some lawyers who will act entirely on a conditional fee basis - ie they will take a percentage of what he recovers, usually 30-35%. He may decide he has little to lose in those circumstances, and he may be right, but he should be wary. Family disputes are often disproportionately acrimonious and so less likely to settle and it could just bring years of misery and heartache.
Assuming he doesn’t need the money he could have encourage his parents to leave it to charity. That will have the twin benefit of meaning the estate doesn’t pay a very large inheritance tax bill plus his sister won’t get it….
In the event that things turn out as he fears he may find some lawyers who will act entirely on a conditional fee basis - ie they will take a percentage of what he recovers, usually 30-35%. He may decide he has little to lose in those circumstances, and he may be right, but he should be wary. Family disputes are often disproportionately acrimonious and so less likely to settle and it could just bring years of misery and heartache.
Assuming he doesn’t need the money he could have encourage his parents to leave it to charity. That will have the twin benefit of meaning the estate doesn’t pay a very large inheritance tax bill plus his sister won’t get it….
If the parent is domiciled in Scotland at death, their children do have a proscribed ‘legal right’ to a share of their deceased parent’s estate, regardless of whatever is contained within any (otherwise valid) will.
Also, if your friend’s sister has any sympathy with your friend’s position, there would be nothing stopping her giving-up some of her share to correct any apparent injustice within two years of the death (via a deed of variation) as wills can effectively be re-written if the affected parties are all in agreement…
Also, if your friend’s sister has any sympathy with your friend’s position, there would be nothing stopping her giving-up some of her share to correct any apparent injustice within two years of the death (via a deed of variation) as wills can effectively be re-written if the affected parties are all in agreement…
Monkeylegend said:
Seems like you want your cake and eat it
You clearly want as little as possible to do with your family but want a share of the spoils. Sometimes life doesn't work like that and you only get out what you are prepared to put in.
Have you actually seen the will or are you just surmising what is going to happen?
Sorry I really did mean your friend.
I'm not sure that's the case. Said friend would far rather a happy and loving relationship with said parents, but since that's not on offer (quite the reverse in fact), he's in a position of having to put a coping strategy in place. And the most effective is to keep them at arms length in order to avoid the inevitable toxicity that inevitably comes with contact. You clearly want as little as possible to do with your family but want a share of the spoils. Sometimes life doesn't work like that and you only get out what you are prepared to put in.
Have you actually seen the will or are you just surmising what is going to happen?
Sorry I really did mean your friend.
As to the will, he's no doubt that one exists, but he's not seen it.
Tyre Smoke said:
Here's my story, very abridged.
I was adopted as a baby in the 60s. My birth mother was unmarried and was virtually forced to give me up. Step in two school teachers. My adoptive mother was the one that wanted me, my adoptive father was brought up by women, his mother, grandmother and then his wife. He is the typical misogynistic 90yo. I was never close to my adoptive father, a bit closer to my adoptive mother who died in 2010. From that moment on, my adoptive father started making quite negative and hurtful comments. I put up with it for the sake of peace. 2015, and I'm divorcing my alcoholic wife. He is no support at all. In 2017, he sends a photocopy of a letter from his solicitor claiming all the expenses incurred in bringing me up. It's all listed, itemised. I ignore. Then I get a letter threatening court action. I ignore that too. In 2019 I get a letter with a copy of his will stating that he is leaving me just £10,000 as long as I don't contest his will. The rest will be left to his cleaner and my son. I too have apparently not ticked the correct boxes. I am as shady as and not to be trusted. Despite putting my son through public school and running a successful business.
I haven't spoken to him since that letter and have no intention of ever doing so again. He can die in his favourite chair swimming in his own piss and st for all I care.
TL;DR
Just get on with your life and leave them to it. Don't let them try and ruin your own life.
Wow, that is harsh! I was adopted as a baby in the 60s. My birth mother was unmarried and was virtually forced to give me up. Step in two school teachers. My adoptive mother was the one that wanted me, my adoptive father was brought up by women, his mother, grandmother and then his wife. He is the typical misogynistic 90yo. I was never close to my adoptive father, a bit closer to my adoptive mother who died in 2010. From that moment on, my adoptive father started making quite negative and hurtful comments. I put up with it for the sake of peace. 2015, and I'm divorcing my alcoholic wife. He is no support at all. In 2017, he sends a photocopy of a letter from his solicitor claiming all the expenses incurred in bringing me up. It's all listed, itemised. I ignore. Then I get a letter threatening court action. I ignore that too. In 2019 I get a letter with a copy of his will stating that he is leaving me just £10,000 as long as I don't contest his will. The rest will be left to his cleaner and my son. I too have apparently not ticked the correct boxes. I am as shady as and not to be trusted. Despite putting my son through public school and running a successful business.
I haven't spoken to him since that letter and have no intention of ever doing so again. He can die in his favourite chair swimming in his own piss and s
t for all I care.TL;DR
Just get on with your life and leave them to it. Don't let them try and ruin your own life.
(Some) people can be such s
ts. 
williaa68 said:
Assuming his parents are of sound mind when they make their will and there is no real undue influence he has pretty much zero chance. He would need to show he was dependent on them or had some other equitable claim (he was caring for them in some way and reducing his income as a result for example), neither of which seem to be the case. England has no “forced heirship” rules - they could leave it to the cats home if they wanted to.
In the event that things turn out as he fears he may find some lawyers who will act entirely on a conditional fee basis - ie they will take a percentage of what he recovers, usually 30-35%. He may decide he has little to lose in those circumstances, and he may be right, but he should be wary. Family disputes are often disproportionately acrimonious and so less likely to settle and it could just bring years of misery and heartache.
Assuming he doesn’t need the money he could have encourage his parents to leave it to charity. That will have the twin benefit of meaning the estate doesn’t pay a very large inheritance tax bill plus his sister won’t get it….
It's not impossible that it has been, and that's fine if so (apparently).In the event that things turn out as he fears he may find some lawyers who will act entirely on a conditional fee basis - ie they will take a percentage of what he recovers, usually 30-35%. He may decide he has little to lose in those circumstances, and he may be right, but he should be wary. Family disputes are often disproportionately acrimonious and so less likely to settle and it could just bring years of misery and heartache.
Assuming he doesn’t need the money he could have encourage his parents to leave it to charity. That will have the twin benefit of meaning the estate doesn’t pay a very large inheritance tax bill plus his sister won’t get it….
Discussion of the subject, let alone encouragement, not a chance. Apparently...
williaa68 said:
Assuming his parents are of sound mind when they make their will and there is no real undue influence he has pretty much zero chance. He would need to show he was dependent on them or had some other equitable claim (he was caring for them in some way and reducing his income as a result for example), neither of which seem to be the case. England has no “forced heirship” rules - they could leave it to the cats home if they wanted to.
In the event that things turn out as he fears he may find some lawyers who will act entirely on a conditional fee basis - ie they will take a percentage of what he recovers, usually 30-35%. He may decide he has little to lose in those circumstances, and he may be right, but he should be wary. Family disputes are often disproportionately acrimonious and so less likely to settle and it could just bring years of misery and heartache.
OP,In the event that things turn out as he fears he may find some lawyers who will act entirely on a conditional fee basis - ie they will take a percentage of what he recovers, usually 30-35%. He may decide he has little to lose in those circumstances, and he may be right, but he should be wary. Family disputes are often disproportionately acrimonious and so less likely to settle and it could just bring years of misery and heartache.
This is spot on advice and for me declares this thread closed. This is all you need to know.
Unless you fit the criteria in the first paragraph then you may as well forget it.
williaa68 said:
Assuming his parents are of sound mind when they make their will and there is no real undue influence he has pretty much zero chance. He would need to show he was dependent on them or had some other equitable claim (he was caring for them in some way and reducing his income as a result for example), neither of which seem to be the case. England has no “forced heirship” rules - they could leave it to the cats home if they wanted to.
In the event that things turn out as he fears he may find some lawyers who will act entirely on a conditional fee basis - ie they will take a percentage of what he recovers, usually 30-35%. He may decide he has little to lose in those circumstances, and he may be right, but he should be wary. Family disputes are often disproportionately acrimonious and so less likely to settle and it could just bring years of misery and heartache.
OP,In the event that things turn out as he fears he may find some lawyers who will act entirely on a conditional fee basis - ie they will take a percentage of what he recovers, usually 30-35%. He may decide he has little to lose in those circumstances, and he may be right, but he should be wary. Family disputes are often disproportionately acrimonious and so less likely to settle and it could just bring years of misery and heartache.
This is spot on advice and for me declares this thread closed. This is all you need to know.
Unless you fit the criteria in the first paragraph then you may as well forget it.
Ari said:
Recently, with parents ageing and some serious illness with one of them, older sister appears to have been driving a bit of a wedge. Last time he visited (because of the illness, went to see ill parent) the well parent chose to give him a dressing down as he left about not caring enough, and not being as good as the Golden Child sister, and not visiting enough (ironically leaving him wanting to avoid the poisonous relationship with parents even more than he already does).
Forget the cash IMO. If they choose not to give it to you then move on, anything else is just a route to heartache and pain and may well not give the result you want anyway. Apart from giving your sister some grief.But the bit I've quoted needs addressing IMO. If they (the well parent at least) mentions it again then tell them why you avoid them.
I too grew up in a general air of disappointment. Thankfully my brothers were also a disappointment so the load was shared.
The answer may depend what country they are in. I Scotland you can not completely disinherited your children.
.
https://www.wallacequinn.co.uk/disinheriting-your-...
.
https://www.wallacequinn.co.uk/disinheriting-your-...
Bill said:
Forget the cash IMO. If they choose not to give it to you then move on, anything else is just a route to heartache and pain and may well not give the result you want anyway. Apart from giving your sister some grief.
But the bit I've quoted needs addressing IMO. If they (the well parent at least) mentions it again then tell them why you avoid them.
I too grew up in a general air of disappointment. Thankfully my brothers were also a disappointment so the load was shared.
It's good advice, but they are absolutely right and he (and indeed everyone else) is absolutely wrong and ever was it thus. There's no mileage to be gained even attempting to broach the subject, sadly, the only peace of mind is in distancing as much as possible.But the bit I've quoted needs addressing IMO. If they (the well parent at least) mentions it again then tell them why you avoid them.
I too grew up in a general air of disappointment. Thankfully my brothers were also a disappointment so the load was shared.
MGZTV8 said:
williaa68 said:
Assuming his parents are of sound mind when they make their will and there is no real undue influence he has pretty much zero chance. He would need to show he was dependent on them or had some other equitable claim (he was caring for them in some way and reducing his income as a result for example), neither of which seem to be the case. England has no “forced heirship” rules - they could leave it to the cats home if they wanted to.
In the event that things turn out as he fears he may find some lawyers who will act entirely on a conditional fee basis - ie they will take a percentage of what he recovers, usually 30-35%. He may decide he has little to lose in those circumstances, and he may be right, but he should be wary. Family disputes are often disproportionately acrimonious and so less likely to settle and it could just bring years of misery and heartache.
OP,In the event that things turn out as he fears he may find some lawyers who will act entirely on a conditional fee basis - ie they will take a percentage of what he recovers, usually 30-35%. He may decide he has little to lose in those circumstances, and he may be right, but he should be wary. Family disputes are often disproportionately acrimonious and so less likely to settle and it could just bring years of misery and heartache.
This is spot on advice and for me declares this thread closed. This is all you need to know.
Unless you fit the criteria in the first paragraph then you may as well forget it.
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