Post divorce finances
Discussion
A friend of mine has the following situation crop up and will be seeing a solicitor but said I'd ask here for him.
He got divorced in 2012 and walked away from everything. Absolutely skint he moved in with his parents. He has 3 kids, younger at the time but now 18+.
In the following years, after pretty much a full on breakdown, he did well for himself. In the past 10 years he's amassed quite the fortune, £1.5m house with no mortgage, cars, gold, watches, £1m+ in the bank.
He started paying his ex-wife £2k a month, their kids had lives with her, he'd not been able to help much. Youngest turned 18 earlier this year and he continued paying, his current partner is questioning why.
Fast forward to this week and she's demanding £50k so she can move house. She tells him she's instructed a solicitor and is coming after him for whatever she can, but that £50k would make it all go away. Blackmail essentially.
I have no experience in any of this but 14 years post divorce when what he's made has absolutely nothing to do with her doesn't seem right.
He got divorced in 2012 and walked away from everything. Absolutely skint he moved in with his parents. He has 3 kids, younger at the time but now 18+.
In the following years, after pretty much a full on breakdown, he did well for himself. In the past 10 years he's amassed quite the fortune, £1.5m house with no mortgage, cars, gold, watches, £1m+ in the bank.
He started paying his ex-wife £2k a month, their kids had lives with her, he'd not been able to help much. Youngest turned 18 earlier this year and he continued paying, his current partner is questioning why.
Fast forward to this week and she's demanding £50k so she can move house. She tells him she's instructed a solicitor and is coming after him for whatever she can, but that £50k would make it all go away. Blackmail essentially.
I have no experience in any of this but 14 years post divorce when what he's made has absolutely nothing to do with her doesn't seem right.
davek_964 said:
I would hope she doesn't have a chance.
And frankly - since she'd now forced me to consult with a solicitor, I'd be confirming with them that I can now stop all payments to her.
Same. He has enough for a very good solicitor to fight her by the sounds of it.And frankly - since she'd now forced me to consult with a solicitor, I'd be confirming with them that I can now stop all payments to her.
And once that battle's won I'd be thinking about somehow supporting the kids directly now they're adults if I were in his shoes. Cut the ex out of the loop entirely in a financial regard.
ChatGPT suggests that she may have a leg to stand on because there was no financial order made when the divorce was finalised but at the time there was no money, he walked away entirely, with nothing. She got the contents of the bank accounts etc.
He does have the money for a solicitor and clearly has the money to give her £50k, all I said in that regard was that there'd need to be something legal signed following that, who is to say she wouldn't them come after him again.
He's given all kids deposits for houses, funds pretty much everything they need and bought his ex a car a few years ago on the basis she was ferrying his kids round. It's been more than fair to my mind but this whole situation is stressing him out.
He does have the money for a solicitor and clearly has the money to give her £50k, all I said in that regard was that there'd need to be something legal signed following that, who is to say she wouldn't them come after him again.
He's given all kids deposits for houses, funds pretty much everything they need and bought his ex a car a few years ago on the basis she was ferrying his kids round. It's been more than fair to my mind but this whole situation is stressing him out.
If there's no clean break clause then 50k as a full and final settlement may well turn out to be a major result.
He definitely needs to engage a really good solicitor.
If his ex does the same it could turn out pretty painful.
And even if she doesn't he's still got to get it past the courts.
Nightmare scenario really
He definitely needs to engage a really good solicitor.
If his ex does the same it could turn out pretty painful.
And even if she doesn't he's still got to get it past the courts.
Nightmare scenario really
TwigtheWonderkid said:
AB said:
Blackmail essentially.
That's not blackmail, it's extortion. Slightly different thing. Blackmail is a very specific form of extortion and this doesn't meet the threshold. He needs good legal advice (she'll need some too to make sure the deal can be considered fair) and then try to negotiate.
Terminator X said:
£1m in the bank and he's stressing about £50k 
TX.
It's not just that though is it, why would be trust her on £50k being the end of it, which is why he needs to speak to a solicitor to ensure it can all be legally signed off if that happens.TX.
I do wonder why she'd ask for only £50k if she thought she had a good argument for more.
AB said:
It's not just that though is it, why would be trust her on £50k being the end of it, which is why he needs to speak to a solicitor to ensure it can all be legally signed off if that happens.
I do wonder why she'd ask for only £50k if she thought she had a good argument for more.
She may *not* have a good argument for more if the business and assets all came post divorceI do wonder why she'd ask for only £50k if she thought she had a good argument for more.
But she's definitely got some sort of argument.
AB said:
It's not just that though is it, why would be trust her on £50k being the end of it, which is why he needs to speak to a solicitor to ensure it can all be legally signed off if that happens.
I do wonder why she'd ask for only £50k if she thought she had a good argument for more.
She's probably seen what he gave the kids for a deposit and has decided she is entitled to the same.I do wonder why she'd ask for only £50k if she thought she had a good argument for more.
Proper legal advice, fully armed with all the facts is the only way to go here.
Nicetobenice said:
He may want to have a look at Dale Vince's divorce
That should focus his mind
This. If he has no financial order and a Decree Absolute he's about to get right royally fThat should focus his mind
ked and the dildo of consequences is wrapped in sandpaper. His only choice is whether it's his ex wife or his lawyer doing the fking.As to stopping payments, on what basis was his interim payment established and are there kids under 18 or in higher education that he is financially responsible for? Her demand for £50k may be an opening gambit, but if there are kids he needs to follow the Child Maintenance Service calculation and keep paying that at least. The more goodwill he shows the better it will go, but that will only reduce the grit size on the sandpaper.
Edited by Collectingbrass on Tuesday 9th June 12:46
Collectingbrass said:
Nicetobenice said:
He may want to have a look at Dale Vince's divorce
That should focus his mind
This. If he has no financial order and a Decree Absolute he's about to get right royally fThat should focus his mind
ked and the dildo of consequences is wrapped in sandpaper. His only choice is whether it's his ex wife or his lawyer doing the fking.As to stopping payments, on what basis was his interim payment established and are there kids under 18 or in higher education that he is financially responsible for? Her demand for £50k may be an opening gambit, but if there are kids he needs to follow the Child Maintenance Service calculation and keep paying that at least. The more goodwill he shows the better it will go, but that will only reduce the grit size on the sandpaper.
Edited by Collectingbrass on Tuesday 9th June 12:46
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