Essex Black 5 series

[virgil]

Was driving around town Saturday (slowly - old codger in front) round a bend, got the old blue lights lit behind me...from a nice clean black 5 series BM.

Wondered what I'd done as I weas driving vary slowly at that point, but it was pointed out I'd hit up to about 50 in shorts bursts of speed in the half mile they's been following me! Very possible and highly likely in a TVR Griff...but they said I had a very nice car, told me to be a bit more sensible, keep an eye on the speed and sent me on may way.

Very fair and sensible policing I thought...and so did my Wife!

[jasandjules]

Have been nicked by Essex plod a couple of times, and every time have had a polite word, and been sent on my way. Not in the last few years though....

[turbobloke]

This is definitely NOT intended to be disrespectful to virgil, and I know it will probably be the n'th repost, but there's really no excuse NOT to pick up any unmarked plod in front or behind...my "baker's dozen" signs from the common stealth plod indicators are:

1. often two-up, burly blokes more often than not (i.e. rugged manly silhouette, officers) but with PC pc it can vary a bit more
2. make of car, the common V and F ones may well be performance variants (V6) but now there are Honda VTECs Subarus BMWs (!) Mercs and also not forgetting traditional Volvos and nippy Skodas,
3. may well be, but not always, white - the resale price of other colours is higher, Volvos seem to be dark blue or dark green a lot, Rovers blue (maybe just me) and you can see see a lot of silver F and V cars
4. on open roads, sitting just under the limit as you pass
5. funny looking sun visors (can house lights)
6. funny looking rear parcel shelf (pop-up lights, middle and/or in the corners obviously)
7. blues behind the front grille glinting in sun or under streetlights
8. videocam hanging down front and/or back
9. clean car in bad weather
10. Two rear view mirrors, and we're NOT talking about learner cars (!)
11. Rear fogs can be an 'unusual' colour, fronts too
12. No, or less, family paraphernalia around and in the car (but watch out for some sneakier camouflage these days too)
13. And last but not least, more aerials than usual

For unmarked bikes it's a lot trickier, they wear plain dark leathers / helmets and use normal (but mostly subdued) colours for the machinery i.e. maroon, however there are signs if you know your bikes as the kit they carry gives a slightly unusual bittier and bulkier profile, more obviously the front light may well look bigger and a bit different in shape as that area may house the 'other' lights as well, stuck below or to the side of the normal ones.

Helpful PH BiB may well complete the list for us

HTH

Edited to add - there's another much shorter guide to spotting marked cars to avoid the charge of 'failing to look in rear view mirror' but that's probably too risky to post

>> Edited by turbobloke on Monday 15th May 11:15

[virgil]

turbobloke said:

This is definitely NOT intended to be disrespectful to virgil,

No offence taken - was quite aware of volvos etc but BMWs...we are obviously paying too much tax if they can afford flash cars!

In a light hearted response...

1. Normal sized bloke and petit girl...though the white shirt and stab jacket should have given it away.
2. make of car...BMW - as said obviously paying too much in tax...they should all be cheap Jap stuff.
3. Err so that means watch out for any colour then...bar TVR bluey-greeny-purple maybe?
4. He joined on a round about and was already moving in the manner of a public person...can I do him for entrapment?
5. It WAS sunny and they were still up...is this the real clue?
6. He was behind me (as they should all be when driving a TVR) so couldn't tell.
7. In my defence I DID see these...when he turned them on.
8. Thought this was the Churchill dog.
9. Just a proud owner?
10. Thought the 'spare' was for the girl to check her make-up (I live in Essex)
11. Again...he was behind me.
12 & 13. As I said it was Essex - Extra paraphernalia is almost the law here on every car...

I would also like to point out that I have only ever been caught by 'plain clothed' cars (I tend to look in front of me when driving and only backward for 'blue lighted taxis'), 'Hidden' speed cameras (now have road angel) and once from a hidden BIB with a hair dryer...I was young!

:P

[jasandjules]

Essex plod also had a nice Jag a few years back.. Wonder if they still have it....

[turbobloke]

virgil said:

we are obviously paying too much tax if they can afford flash cars!

Round here they're toting decent Mercs and VTEC Hondas, asked plod for breakdown of motoring spend but denied for 'operational reasons', that's bull so might try FoIA next if boredom sets in again....

virgil said:

In a light hearted response...

and likewise...

virgil said:

1. the white shirt and stab jacket should have given it away.

virgil said:

3. Err so that means watch out for any colour then...bar TVR bluey-greeny-purple maybe?

As you say they got the dosh so yes, tivs with flip paint coming soon...

virgil said:

4. He joined on a round about and was already moving in the manner of a public person...can I do him for entrapment?

virgil said:

5. It WAS sunny and they were still up...is this the real clue?

OK, my clue was cryptic

virgil said:

8. Thought this was the Churchill dog.

virgil said:

9. Just a proud owner?

Tricky one, but ... nah!

virgil said:

10. Thought the 'spare' was for the girl to check her make-up (I live in Essex)

That's just plain sneaky of them to have a GiB on board

virgil said:

20 lines for virgil 'no excuses for not spotting unmarked BiB'

[virgil]

[quote=turbobloke 20 lines for virgil 'no excuses for not spotting unmarked BiB'
[/quote]

I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.
I must look behind me for sneaky plain clothed BiB.