Stop or slow down?
Author
Discussion

streaky

Original Poster:

19,311 posts

280 months

Monday 22nd October 2007
quotequote all
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper
He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop.

He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cop's expense!

Cop:' License and registration, please.'

Lawyer: 'What for?'

Cop: 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

Lawyer: 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

Cop: 'You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please.'

Lawyer: 'What's the difference?'

Cop: 'The difference is, you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!'

Lawyer: 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

Cop: 'Sounds fair. Step out of your vehicle, sir.'

The lawyer gets out.

The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the sh1t out of the lawyer and says, ...







'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'

[No apologies!]
Streaky


Ranger 6

7,731 posts

280 months

Monday 22nd October 2007
quotequote all
That's a coffee over the keyboard moment!

Hooli

32,278 posts

231 months

Monday 22nd October 2007
quotequote all
rofl

andmole

1,594 posts

242 months

Monday 22nd October 2007
quotequote all
rofl

Wouldn't we all like to do that to lawyers sometimes

hope there's no lawyers reading this

bi9_jk

883 posts

296 months

Monday 22nd October 2007
quotequote all
andmole said:
rofl

Wouldn't we all like to do that to lawyers sometimes

hope there's no lawyers reading this
There is - well law student anyway


What do you guys have against lawyers. They are the force that drives justice. They will always be ready to help and will give each case their full attention. They are comitted to winning if you murder someone or trip on a cobble they will further your best interests with their expertise and all for a modest fee.

andmole

1,594 posts

242 months

Monday 22nd October 2007
quotequote all
bi9_jk said:
andmole said:
rofl

Wouldn't we all like to do that to lawyers sometimes

hope there's no lawyers reading this
There is - well law student anyway


What do you guys have against lawyers. They are the force that denies justice. They will always be ready to have a liquid lunch and will give each case their full attention when they've finished playing golf. They are committed to screwing as much money as possible if you appear in court for anything and are happy to sue anyone over the drop of a hat, they will further their own best interests with their expertise and all for a huge fee.
EFA all done in jest biggrin

bi9_jk

883 posts

296 months

Tuesday 23rd October 2007
quotequote all
andmole said:
bi9_jk said:
andmole said:
rofl

Wouldn't we all like to do that to lawyers sometimes

hope there's no lawyers reading this
There is - well law student anyway


What do you guys have against lawyers. They are the force that denies justice. They will always be ready to have a liquid lunch and will give each case their full attention when they've finished playing golf. They are committed to screwing as much money as possible if you appear in court for anything and are happy to sue anyone over the drop of a hat, they will further their own best interests with their expertise and all for a huge fee.
EFA all done in jest biggrin
LOL - any why do you think im going into such a profession Wink! Wink!

Edited by bi9_jk on Tuesday 23 October 01:04

Rob_the_Sparky

1,000 posts

269 months

Tuesday 23rd October 2007
quotequote all
bi9_jk said:
What do you guys have against lawyers. They are the force that drives justice.
There is a difference between justice and helping people weedle their way out of an offence via loop holes in the law...

tigger1

8,478 posts

252 months

Tuesday 23rd October 2007
quotequote all
bi9_jk said:
andmole said:
rofl

Wouldn't we all like to do that to lawyers sometimes

hope there's no lawyers reading this
There is - well law student anyway


What do you guys have against lawyers. They are the force that drives justice. They will always be ready to help and will give each case their full attention. They are comitted to winning if you murder someone or trip on a cobble they will further your best interests with their expertise and all for a modest fee.
I can't see your wink but you ARE joking aren't you?! wink

RichBurley

2,432 posts

284 months

Tuesday 23rd October 2007
quotequote all
tigger1 said:
bi9_jk said:
andmole said:
rofl

Wouldn't we all like to do that to lawyers sometimes

hope there's no lawyers reading this
There is - well law student anyway


What do you guys have against lawyers. They are the force that drives justice. They will always be ready to help and will give each case their full attention. They are comitted to winning if you murder someone or trip on a cobble they will further your best interests with their expertise and all for a modest fee.
I can't see your wink but you ARE joking aren't you?! wink
Whether he is, or he isn't I think I'll take him on as my new spokesman, for marketing. Even I couldn't be that glossy about the legal profession lol

mechsympathy

58,884 posts

286 months

Tuesday 23rd October 2007
quotequote all
RichBurley said:
Whether he is, or he isn't I think I'll take him on as my new spokesman, for marketing. Even I couldn't be that glossy about the legal profession lol
The only bit he missed was wearing their underpants over their tightshehe

rude-boy

22,227 posts

264 months

Tuesday 23rd October 2007
quotequote all
It helps in this job to have a rhino hide skin smile


bluepolarbear

1,666 posts

277 months

Tuesday 23rd October 2007
quotequote all
Rob_the_Sparky said:
bi9_jk said:
What do you guys have against lawyers. They are the force that drives justice.
There is a difference between justice and helping people weedle their way out of an offence via loop holes in the law...
I think you mean there is a difference between justice and the law. THere is no such thing a "loop hole in the law"

streaky

Original Poster:

19,311 posts

280 months

Tuesday 23rd October 2007
quotequote all
rude-boy said:
It helps in this job to have a rhino hide skin smile
To complement the pigskin briefcase? - Streaky

bi9_jk

883 posts

296 months

Tuesday 23rd October 2007
quotequote all
bluepolarbear said:
Rob_the_Sparky said:
bi9_jk said:
What do you guys have against lawyers. They are the force that drives justice.
There is a difference between justice and helping people weedle their way out of an offence via loop holes in the law...
I think you mean there is a difference between justice and the law. THere is no such thing a "loop hole in the law"
No No No. Remember theres the truth (shanking head and looking glum) and theres the TRUTH!! (smiling, thumb up and nodding head)


bluepolarbear

1,666 posts

277 months

Wednesday 24th October 2007
quotequote all
bi9_jk said:
No No No. Remember theres the truth (shanking head and looking glum) and theres the TRUTH!! (smiling, thumb up and nodding head)
Yes you are definetly confused. A court of law isn't about the truth it is about the law hence why they are called courts of law and not courts of truth.

As stated no such thing as a loophole - but happy for you to point out one if you think they exist.

What is normally described as a "loophole" is the "prosecution", normally the police or CPS, falling to follow the law and because they fail to follow the law there isn't any evidence to convict someone of breaking the law.

It suits the CPS/Police to call it a "loophole" as it allows the real travisity - incompentence in our police/cps to continue without challenge or learning.

No-one walks on a technicality they walk because of incompetence

Derek Smith

50,006 posts

279 months

Wednesday 24th October 2007
quotequote all
bluepolarbear said:
What is normally described as a "loophole" is the "prosecution", normally the police or CPS, falling to follow the law and because they fail to follow the law there isn't any evidence to convict someone of breaking the law.
Loopholes are due to poorly worded legislation. I've lost cases where I've followed the law to the letter yet courts decide that some other interpretation is prefered. I've lost a case where I followed one stated case only to have my case appealed and it got turned over. Farcical.

The poorly worded breathtest legislation was a minefield where cases got turned over week on week. Then, low and behold, an appeal court decided that they were all wrong and such silly details as whether an officer wore a hat or not at the time of the demand did not really matter. Yet hundreds of drunken drivers had been let off to reoffend.

I've followed the law. I'm not incompetant. I've lost cases because of poorly worded legislation. I've never lost a case due to 'failing to follow the law'.

I had to write a report on my force's response to a new Criminal Justice Act. I went to see the resident judge who told me that it would be turned over within six months because it was so badly worded. And he was right. You should have heard what he felt about Blunkett's legislation.

I had a professor from the Home Office come to my ID unit when they were intending to update the Codes of Practice. My unit had been metnioned in a Home Office Circular as an example of good practice so that's why he picked us. My unit was the first and only unit he visited. Yet he rewrote the entire CoP as they related to identification. The legislators have absolutely no idea of what is required.

And on the subject of lawyers, I reviewed a 14-year-old lad, in the presence of his mother, in my role as custody inspector. This lad had been nicked four or five times in the last month and my shift came down to get a look at him as he had the makings of a frequent offender and they wanted to be able to recognise him. I told this lad he had an important decision to make. My crew would remember him and note what he was wearing each time and if a brief description of clothing of an offender was put out over the air, they would know if it was him. i did not expect to make a difference but, as he was only 14, you have to give it a go. He said, "I've got no worries. David [his solicitor] has told me that whenever I'm nicked to shut up and he'll get me off."

Corruption of a minor, pure and simple. The brief was encouraging a young person to offend.

streaky

Original Poster:

19,311 posts

280 months

Thursday 25th October 2007
quotequote all
Derek Smith said:
bluepolarbear][ ... said:
The poorly worded breathtest legislation was a minefield where cases got turned over week on week. Then, low and behold, an appeal court decided that they were all wrong and such silly details as whether an officer wore a hat or not at the time of the demand did not really matter. Yet hundreds of drunken drivers had been let off to reoffend.

[ ... ]
And in cases where, on appeal, the law or its application has been found to be inadequate to support a conviction, thousands of non-offenders (in the case of motoriists) have been neither pardoned nor compensated - Streaky

WildCat

8,369 posts

274 months

Thursday 25th October 2007
quotequote all
bi9_jk said:
(shanking head and looking glum)
confusedshanking headconfused

Ist that because of the weight of the wig which need the curlers? Or something between lawyers which ist equivalent to a "funny handshake" ? rofl

But lawyers - depend how they present case in court. I think "shanking" tongue outlaugh would depend on the judge's own predisposition per the tabloid press. hehe Judge John Deed's antics with his leading ladies pale when compared to some of the StUN's offerings in past three months laugh


RichBurley

2,432 posts

284 months

Thursday 25th October 2007
quotequote all
Derek Smith said:
bluepolarbear said:
What is normally described as a "loophole" is the "prosecution", normally the police or CPS, falling to follow the law and because they fail to follow the law there isn't any evidence to convict someone of breaking the law.
Loopholes are due to poorly worded legislation. I've lost cases where I've followed the law to the letter yet courts decide that some other interpretation is prefered. I've lost a case where I followed one stated case only to have my case appealed and it got turned over. Farcical.

The poorly worded breathtest legislation was a minefield where cases got turned over week on week. Then, low and behold, an appeal court decided that they were all wrong and such silly details as whether an officer wore a hat or not at the time of the demand did not really matter. Yet hundreds of drunken drivers had been let off to reoffend.

I've followed the law. I'm not incompetant. I've lost cases because of poorly worded legislation. I've never lost a case due to 'failing to follow the law'.

I had to write a report on my force's response to a new Criminal Justice Act. I went to see the resident judge who told me that it would be turned over within six months because it was so badly worded. And he was right. You should have heard what he felt about Blunkett's legislation.

I had a professor from the Home Office come to my ID unit when they were intending to update the Codes of Practice. My unit had been metnioned in a Home Office Circular as an example of good practice so that's why he picked us. My unit was the first and only unit he visited. Yet he rewrote the entire CoP as they related to identification. The legislators have absolutely no idea of what is required.

And on the subject of lawyers, I reviewed a 14-year-old lad, in the presence of his mother, in my role as custody inspector. This lad had been nicked four or five times in the last month and my shift came down to get a look at him as he had the makings of a frequent offender and they wanted to be able to recognise him. I told this lad he had an important decision to make. My crew would remember him and note what he was wearing each time and if a brief description of clothing of an offender was put out over the air, they would know if it was him. i did not expect to make a difference but, as he was only 14, you have to give it a go. He said, "I've got no worries. David [his solicitor] has told me that whenever I'm nicked to shut up and he'll get me off."

Corruption of a minor, pure and simple. The brief was encouraging a young person to offend.
I don't believe that you've never made a mistake in the law; to err is human.

Also, I susect that David's solicitor has been misquoted - he probably said "shut up until I get there" knowing full well that David shouldn't self-incriminate, and certainly shouldn't be doing so without legal assistance. As a minor, that shouldn't be a problem for you. Yes, the lad is a repeat offender, but it seems that you have a problme with him having access to representation. Do you just want to question him when a solicitor isn't there? If so, then even more the reason for the lad to want to have a solicitor!

Ergo, NOT corruption of a minor at all. And the "brief" (yawn) WASN'T encouraging David to offend. wink