Standing up to boss
Discussion
Just wondering if you've ever stood up to your boss or other person in a higher position than yourself? If so did it make or break you?!
I'm having problems with my mentor at work, I feel really put down and a burden. I'm not learning anything so feel like a total waste of space. She's regularly told me she hates students, especially direct entry ones! Really does dent your confidence. One of the other midwives knows how I feel after noticing a total change in me when I did a clinic with them both. She thinks talking to her about it is a death wish!! Most of the other midwives don't like her and wouldn't confront her. I don't want to jepardise my education, feel pooey and loose my confidence but also don't want to make things awkward (especially as she has friends in high places).
I'm having problems with my mentor at work, I feel really put down and a burden. I'm not learning anything so feel like a total waste of space. She's regularly told me she hates students, especially direct entry ones! Really does dent your confidence. One of the other midwives knows how I feel after noticing a total change in me when I did a clinic with them both. She thinks talking to her about it is a death wish!! Most of the other midwives don't like her and wouldn't confront her. I don't want to jepardise my education, feel pooey and loose my confidence but also don't want to make things awkward (especially as she has friends in high places).
yay thats the kind of response I needed to give me the confidence to do it after being asked for an invite to my funeral!!
I'm going to be nice to her and just ask for a couple of minutes at the end of parent craft tomorrow. If I ask nicely if she sees me as a burden to her then she'll have to answer yes or no really,
If its yes then fine I'll say its not fair on either of us and I will find a new mentor.
If she says no then I'll have to explain why I feel that way and hopefully she will try and make an effort to teach me so I dont feel like a burden.
I'm going to be nice to her and just ask for a couple of minutes at the end of parent craft tomorrow. If I ask nicely if she sees me as a burden to her then she'll have to answer yes or no really,
If its yes then fine I'll say its not fair on either of us and I will find a new mentor.
If she says no then I'll have to explain why I feel that way and hopefully she will try and make an effort to teach me so I dont feel like a burden.
I stood up to a boss once, he was a bully and he just took an unreasonable dislike to me. It was one of those situations where my face just did not fit and I could never win.
At the time it did me no favours because I took all the crap untill I could bare it no more and then stood my ground in an aggresive way (the look and fear on the t
ts face was priceless). He was of course still the Boss and sacked me three weeks later giving no reason. As said in an earlier thread you are better off talking and not ranting.
The truth is though, if some one thinks badly of you, no matter how unjust that may be you will have a very hard time changing their opinion. Lifes to short, either try and sort it out by talking calmly or move on to where you are appreciated.
The ex boss did me a favour in a way. Once I was away from the bullying I relaxed and could suddenly sleep at night. Two months off in the summer and then I got a better job where I am treated with respect and much better prospects.
At the time it did me no favours because I took all the crap untill I could bare it no more and then stood my ground in an aggresive way (the look and fear on the t
ts face was priceless). He was of course still the Boss and sacked me three weeks later giving no reason. As said in an earlier thread you are better off talking and not ranting. The truth is though, if some one thinks badly of you, no matter how unjust that may be you will have a very hard time changing their opinion. Lifes to short, either try and sort it out by talking calmly or move on to where you are appreciated.
The ex boss did me a favour in a way. Once I was away from the bullying I relaxed and could suddenly sleep at night. Two months off in the summer and then I got a better job where I am treated with respect and much better prospects.
at a previous company i was a foremanand we had a complete f@ckwit for a manager who did not have a clue how to price a job or how long it would take.sometimes jobs would take 5x what he thought.after a while we were all pretty pissed off with this guy as he wouldn't listen to any of us.
i had a word with the previous office manager who originally gave me my job who had transfered to another office nearer his home.now he got in touch with the MD of the company and explained things to him.the MD appeared oneday,unknown to us.we all spoke to him on our own and pretty much all said the same things about the managers incompetance.
he didn't belive a thing we said (6 of us) and told the manager all that we had said about him.mmmmm got a bit frosty(if not down right arctic) for a day or 2 then he talked to me and 1 of my crew one afternoon.he basically blamed me and my mate for being lazy!!well red rag to a bull,my mate snapped,went to deck the handpump on the spot but i managed to dig him in the ribs before contact was made as the manager is the sort of weasel that would have gone to the police.so my mate walkeduot,manager went and hid in the office and i went back out to do a job.now i was really pissed off as i knew my mate would not be back.i got halfway to the job and thought f@ck it and turned round,went back to office to have it out once and forall.the prick of a manager had gone home.
i went in the next day and the guy was givin it large about how he wasn't scared the day before and would have dropped my mate.
was so funny to see a grown man cowering in his office 2 mins later.
if you stand up to your boss especilly in a big organisation make sure your listened to.we tried to goto the top but it didn't work as he was an arse as well so 4 of us left within 3 days
rant over
i had a word with the previous office manager who originally gave me my job who had transfered to another office nearer his home.now he got in touch with the MD of the company and explained things to him.the MD appeared oneday,unknown to us.we all spoke to him on our own and pretty much all said the same things about the managers incompetance.
he didn't belive a thing we said (6 of us) and told the manager all that we had said about him.mmmmm got a bit frosty(if not down right arctic) for a day or 2 then he talked to me and 1 of my crew one afternoon.he basically blamed me and my mate for being lazy!!well red rag to a bull,my mate snapped,went to deck the handpump on the spot but i managed to dig him in the ribs before contact was made as the manager is the sort of weasel that would have gone to the police.so my mate walkeduot,manager went and hid in the office and i went back out to do a job.now i was really pissed off as i knew my mate would not be back.i got halfway to the job and thought f@ck it and turned round,went back to office to have it out once and forall.the prick of a manager had gone home.
i went in the next day and the guy was givin it large about how he wasn't scared the day before and would have dropped my mate.
was so funny to see a grown man cowering in his office 2 mins later.
if you stand up to your boss especilly in a big organisation make sure your listened to.we tried to goto the top but it didn't work as he was an arse as well so 4 of us left within 3 days
rant over
Well the consultant midwife is aware of the situation (and was the one that advised I speak to her personally rather than go straight to her boss). I think its a lot more polite to try and sort things amicably first.
I've also been told not to take it personally as she's just like that and I have had a back handed compliment of "not being as bad as the rest" but I still don't think its appropriate and in my lecturers words..."she's picked on the wrong person here"!! I wont just let things like this pass me by as I'll probably have dealings with her for 4 years and I'm not happy to sit back.
I've also been told not to take it personally as she's just like that and I have had a back handed compliment of "not being as bad as the rest" but I still don't think its appropriate and in my lecturers words..."she's picked on the wrong person here"!! I wont just let things like this pass me by as I'll probably have dealings with her for 4 years and I'm not happy to sit back.
Your boss probably doesn't think badly of you at all really. It's more likely that they have poo communication skills and are in the position they are in 'cos of the wages.
I would use the approach of, can i have a mo, 'cos I love my job, but I feel really down at present, can you help? (you feckin useless stupid cow of a mentor - dont say that bit, might upset things a wee bit
)
Tell her how you feel, she is charged with being your mentor after all. Ask for help and she should respond in a positive way.
My wife has a pal who is a midwife at Ormskirk, a G grade (?) I think. If you need a bit of 'trade' advice, I am sure she would help.
I would use the approach of, can i have a mo, 'cos I love my job, but I feel really down at present, can you help? (you feckin useless stupid cow of a mentor - dont say that bit, might upset things a wee bit
) Tell her how you feel, she is charged with being your mentor after all. Ask for help and she should respond in a positive way.
My wife has a pal who is a midwife at Ormskirk, a G grade (?) I think. If you need a bit of 'trade' advice, I am sure she would help.
I wanted to go into midwifery when deciding on my career path, but was told that alot of the "old school" midwives don't like students - put me right off!
Can you not go to your course tutor at Uni and ask to be moved or given another mentor - its not right you should be made to feel like that!
Jane x
Can you not go to your course tutor at Uni and ask to be moved or given another mentor - its not right you should be made to feel like that!
Jane x
I am the Boss!
Whatever advice you take, or decision you make, remember to follow your intuition. 
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