Useful advice for women drivers
Discussion
A guy was making a breakfast of fried eggs for his wife. Suddenly she burst into the kitchen.
"Careful . CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too
many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my
GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful
... CAREFUL! .....I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're
cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the
salt. USE THE SALT!.........THE SALT!!!"
The husband stared at her. "What the Hell is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The wife calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what you sound like when
I'm driving!
"Careful . CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too
many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my
GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful
... CAREFUL! .....I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're
cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the
salt. USE THE SALT!.........THE SALT!!!"
The husband stared at her. "What the Hell is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The wife calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what you sound like when
I'm driving!
Oddly enough, my Mum's like this whenever me or my Dad are driving. Then again, if we followed her instructions, we'd be 10mph below the speed limit at all times, we'd signal round parked cars, we'd slam the brakes on constantly, stop several metres before green traffic lights and trundle up to them at 5 mph waiting for them to turn red, we'd drive rigidly with hands glued to 01:50 on the wheel, never changing gear, and never looking in the mirrors. In short, driving like her. What makes it worse is the fact that, if she's in the passenger seat, she claws at the seat bolsters and stamps her feet in the footwell whenever you're doing anything other than pottering at 20 in a straight line, and has been known to readjust the mirrors so SHE can see where you're reversing.
And she has the cheek to suggest that due to experience she's a better driver than me, and doesn't trust me to drive her car on motorways, or out of Manchester, and that when I come to buy a car I'll need to take my test again as I 'won't be confident'.
Exasperating doesn't even begin to describe it.
And she has the cheek to suggest that due to experience she's a better driver than me, and doesn't trust me to drive her car on motorways, or out of Manchester, and that when I come to buy a car I'll need to take my test again as I 'won't be confident'.
Exasperating doesn't even begin to describe it.
birdbrain said:
My ex husband used to be like that with me while I was driving. The irony was that he had 12 points on his licence. One day he got out of hand and I stopped the car 8 miles from home and made him walk.
wish I could do that but it's her car. When I try saying that though, she always screams at me, saying I' 'too angry and irrational to be behind the wheel'. Rich coming from her, someone who shouts so luoud in the car her voice reverberates, and changes gear to emphasise what she's saying. Interestingly enough, she's the one with no NCB, and I still remember the time when she pulled out of a traffic queue into a (slow) motorcyclist, all because she never looks in her mirrors.
EmmaP said:
I had a similar experience with my friend when I went to pick up the Corrado on Sunday I took it for a quick blast around some great, twisty country roads. He was gripping the seat, shouting, "Slow down! Slow down!" God! Some people are no fun at all*.
*That's why he's my 'ex'.
So Emma, unless a man has the prowess of a Tiger under the sheets and the driving skill of Michael Schumacher in the car....
Such a demanding woman!
Hardly that, vixpy, more like the tolerance of a Saint. I'm not deriding your driving Emma but if a passenger is shit-scared whilst one is driving you have to ask the question "why?"!
Mind you. My Mrs can be nervous. She occasionally complains about my driving. Luckily I have an IAM pass, a Rospa Gold and more training than you can shake a stick at under my belt. Gaining these qualifications did shut her up somewhat! But not completely.
She has confided in me that other drivers now seem almost unendurable in comparison - so I suppose that's a compliment.
She still can't bear to be in the car with me on-track.
Mind you. My Mrs can be nervous. She occasionally complains about my driving. Luckily I have an IAM pass, a Rospa Gold and more training than you can shake a stick at under my belt. Gaining these qualifications did shut her up somewhat!
But not completely. She has confided in me that other drivers now seem almost unendurable in comparison - so I suppose that's a compliment.
She still can't bear to be in the car with me on-track.
Gazboy said:
Oddly enough, my Mum's like this whenever me or my Dad are driving. Then again, if we followed her instructions, we'd be 10mph below the speed limit at all times, we'd signal round parked cars, we'd slam the brakes on constantly, stop several metres before green traffic lights and trundle up to them at 5 mph waiting for them to turn red, we'd drive rigidly with hands glued to 01:50 on the wheel, never changing gear, and never looking in the mirrors. In short, driving like her. What makes it worse is the fact that, if she's in the passenger seat, she claws at the seat bolsters and stamps her feet in the footwell whenever you're doing anything other than pottering at 20 in a straight line, and has been known to readjust the mirrors so SHE can see where you're reversing.
And she has the cheek to suggest that due to experience she's a better driver than me, and doesn't trust me to drive her car on motorways, or out of Manchester, and that when I come to buy a car I'll need to take my test again as I 'won't be confident'.
Exasperating doesn't even begin to describe it.
Can't you bundle her into a full on FQ340 Rally slag, with the full monty steam catapult standing start, followed by some monumental 4wd drifts, concluded by testing the limits of adhesion on a road she knows really well, at 130mph?
Well, funny thing is, she doesn't see the connection between my karting, which I do every week (today's will be in snow, ice and standing water) and any kind of car control at all. Next month, I'm doing a rally day at Oulton Park where I hope to demonstrate one or two benefits of correcting oversteer in icy standing water on slick tires whilst coming down from 50 mph.
Then again, she doesn't think my motorsport takes any effort or is good for me health-wise at all. I'd like to see her try a full-length endurance. The other week, I pulled a leg muscle without actually moving my leg - that's what a mixture of G-forces and sharp corners can do. Try that for a hour!
TBH, her entire family are like that since the dawn of the motor car. The most common car on her side of the family seems to have been the Nissan Micra, followed shortly by the Volkswagen Polo, whereas on my Dad's side, it's hot hatches and Autobahn stormers.
Funny thing is, me and all my cousins are literally 'rebelling' against that side of the family - we're all absolutely fanatical about sports cars!
However, I have made a vow to myself never to marry, or even go out with, anyone with the potential to be like my Mum.
He has always been a nervous passenger. I wasn't going that fast, only doing 50-60mph, and wasn't being irresponsible. He is a fairly cautious person. He took me for a blast in his new Audi A3 TDI Sport when he got it a few weeks ago. We had been driving along a road where the national speed limit applied for some time before he said, "Is this a forty?" It's ok though, we take the piss out of eachother all the time.
in his new Audi A3 TDI Sport when he got it a few weeks ago. We had been driving along a road where the national speed limit applied for some time before he said, "Is this a forty?" It's ok though, we take the piss out of eachother all the time.birdbrain said:
Yeah, but it's no fun when someone punches you while you're driving because they think you're not leaving enough space between your car and the car in front.
Men who hit women are the lowest of the low as far as i'm concerned. There is no situation, and no excuse for it. Excepting perhaps if she's coming at you with a knife!
vixpy1 said:
Yeah, but it's no fun when someone punches you while you're driving because they think you're not leaving enough space between your car and the car in front.
Men who hit women are the lowest of the low as far as i'm concerned. There is no situation, and no excuse for it. Excepting perhaps if she's coming at you with a knife!
Anyone who hits me stands to get clobbered back, sex immaterial. I would however never initiate violence. If this makes me the lowest of the low then so be it.
I have a problem at the moment
My wife has just passed her test and so we have bought a Ka for her to drive. I had this vision of us driving calmly along, inside lane of Motorways and dual carriageways pottering along.
Unfortuanatly I have now discovered she is a bit of a girl racer and a Ka can reach a higher speed than I would like.
So there we are in the outside lane of the motorway, really motoring, but slower most of the time than when I am driving us in the Jag. Now the question is am I being a hypocrite if I ask her to keep the speed down. Or should she be driving quite a bit slower due to the car and her own inexperience.
My wife has just passed her test and so we have bought a Ka for her to drive. I had this vision of us driving calmly along, inside lane of Motorways and dual carriageways pottering along.
Unfortuanatly I have now discovered she is a bit of a girl racer and a Ka can reach a higher speed than I would like.
So there we are in the outside lane of the motorway, really motoring, but slower most of the time than when I am driving us in the Jag. Now the question is am I being a hypocrite if I ask her to keep the speed down. Or should she be driving quite a bit slower due to the car and her own inexperience.
JagLover said:
Now the question is am I being a hypocrite if I ask her to keep the speed down.
Potentially, yes, if she appears to be in good control of the vehicle, is using mirrors and signals correctly, and leaving adequate safety space around the vehicle, then yes, definitely. If not try and suggest areas where she might improve.
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