Atomic Physicists - what's the correct version of this joke

[garycat]

An atom walks into a bar looking worried.
The barman says "Whats the problem?".
The atom says "I've lost an electron"
Barman says "Are you sure?"
Atom says "Yes I'm positive".


What should the bold words be to make the joke correct from an atomic physicists point of view.

[zac510]

I thought the joke occured when one atom bumped into another in the street?

[bitwrx]

garycat said:

An atom walks into a bar looking worried.
The barman says "Whats the problem?".
The atom says "I've lost an electron"
Barman says "Are you sure?"
Atom says "Yes I'm positive".


What should the bold words be to make the joke correct from an atomic physicists point of view.

Good joke.

Sounds about right technically as well. Though I'm no atomic physicist.

[bigandclever]

Two atoms were walking down the street.
One turns to the other and says "Oh, no! I think I'm an ion!"
The other says "Are you sure?!?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Jesus.

[Floor Tom]

Pretty sure it is correct as you have typed it. Though the last time I did anything like that was higher chemistry and that was a while ago.

[AlexKP]

An electron with a positive charge is a positron IIRC.

Good joke though.

[HundredthIdiot]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

How is that relevant?

[Floor Tom]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

But if it had lost an electron then it would have more protons than electrons and thus be positive.

[s2art]

Atom should really be ion.

[AlexKP]

HundredthIdiot said:

anonymous said:

[redacted]

How is that relevant?

I have absolutely no idea!

[911motorsport]

I would go with

garycat said:

An atom walks into a bar looking worried.
The barman says "Whats the problem?".
The atom says "I've lost an electron"
Barman says "Are you sure?"
Atom says "Yes I'm positive".


What should the bold words be to make the joke correct from an atomic physicists point of view.

[over_the_hill]

Floor Tom said:

anonymous said:

[redacted]

But if it had lost an electron then it would have more protons than electrons and thus be positive.

The initial joke said an atom that had lost an electron and thus become positive, not a positive electron.

A lepton with a negative charge and 1 electron mass is an electron. A lepton with a positive charge and 1 electron mass is a positron.
The positron is in fact anti-matter and was first hypothesised by Dirac around 1930 and found a few years later by experiment.

Incidentally - both of the above jokes are correct technically speaking although and ion can be either positive or negative.

[gifdy]

Dr Heisenberg was late for a lecture and was stopped for speeding by the local Police. "Do you know how fast you were going" asked the policeman. "No" replied Dr Heisenberg, "but I know where I am"



Sorry

[over_the_hill]

gifdy said:

Dr Heisenberg was late for a lecture and was stopped for speeding by the local Police. "Do you know how fast you were going" asked the policeman. "No" replied Dr Heisenberg, "but I know where I am"



Sorry

[The Black Flash]

gifdy said:

Dr Heisenberg was late for a lecture and was stopped for speeding by the local Police. "Do you know how fast you were going" asked the policeman. "No" replied Dr Heisenberg, "but I know where I am"



Sorry

Best joke I've heard in ages

[over_the_hill]

Heisenberg - Probably the best uncertainty principle in the world !

[sadako]