You know you've been married too long when....

[SClarke]

... you're offered the choice of Graham Norton, The BBC news or sex and you really want to watch the news.

[tuglet]

You can't have been married all that long if you're still being offered sex. It's the news or nothing here.

[plasticpusher]

tuglet said:

You can't have been married all that long if you're still being offered sex.

So true

[Rob.]

You know you've been married too long when.........she fks off and leaves you. Bitter? Me?

[plasticpusher]

SClarke said:

You know you've been married too long...

When you would rather be in the study on PH than sit in the same room as the OH.

[Chim Chim]

Rob. said:

You know you've been married too long when.........she fks off and leaves you. Bitter? Me?

With a Brummie DJ she met while on holiday with her sister on a greek island. Bitter and Twisted? Me? Nah...

[chrisxr2]

Tuglet you are a comedy genius, the frightening fact is you also speak the truth.

[Jasandjules]

Perhaps I need to cancel the engagement...........

[dirty boy]

I'm surfin' PH on the laptop in bed, wife is asleep.

Got to be up at 4am to take the old man to the airport too, so should probably be catching some Zs myself.

[Cotty]

You know you've been married too long when....

You have to ask the question

"You know you've been married too long when...."

[Steve748]

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress are chatting about Their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black Leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the Woman of My life. I love you.’ Then we made love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the Leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

The married woman:
I sent the kids to my mother’s house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said,

‘Hey Batman what’s for dinner?’

[theboyfold]

Jasandjules said:

Perhaps I need to cancel the engagement...........

I only popped the question on Tuesday, is it too late to get out of it?!

[Sheets Tabuer]

You know you've been married too long when....

You look over to her across the room and think... you fking bh.

I'm not married so obviously this isn't me

[CivicMan]

I was offered sex once.

Just once.

[LMC]

Sheets Tabuer said:

You know you've been married too long when....

You look over to her across the room and think... you fking bh.

I'm not married so obviously this isn't me

I did that on holiday last year; she was lying on the bed having an afternoon nap. She was snoring and there were 2 blobs of saliva in the corners of her mouth.

I thought WTF.......

[rupert the dog]

Jesus, that's so sad.

[cloggy]

LMC said:

Sheets Tabuer said:

You know you've been married too long when....

You look over to her across the room and think... you fking bh.

I'm not married so obviously this isn't me

I did that on holiday last year; she was lying on the bed having an afternoon nap. She was snoring and there were 2 blobs of saliva in the corners of her mouth.

I thought WTF.......

I feel your pain broth.

[Steve748]

What did it for me was when I saw her eating the contents of her nose.............

[MitchT]

I'm no glad I made it out before getting married

[alfaman]

You know the honeymoon is over when she comes in to have a st while you are in the bath