What to do with a NEET ?
Discussion
Bit of a sad tale, where I would like to help but not sure how.
I have a family member who is a "neet", not in employment education or training and as she gets older (21 next month) she's slipping down a slope.
She's never had a job, and appears to have little interest in getting one. She went through the school system without achieving much, bailed from A levels, but her parents have supported her financially to attend other courses, which she's also bailed on.
She lives at home with her parents without paying rent or having any responsibilities. Although from a working class background her parents provide no support (don't speak to each other, one is a depressive who spends all the time working so doesn't have to deal with the home situation, other an alcoholic who was fired for being drunk at work).
Every few weeks she signs on. Apparently they ask her what she's been doing to try and find work and she makes stuff up, they then give her some money. She treats the money as something to have fun with and plans what she'll be spending it on when she gets it (bag, nights out, nails, shoes, etc..).
My girlfriend has pulled strings to get her a junior job where she works, but "it's two bus rides away" (40 mins) so that came to nothing.
She's dropped into a world where she's lazy, eats vast amounts of cr*p (so yes, has added weight), gets up at midday, only concerned with drinking, nails and sunbathing, and an "it's not fair" attitude to everything. She's on FaceBook most of the day (that she's not asleep) with most updates consisting of far too much text speak and slagging people off. She has no plan for the future and no idea where she'll end up.
She's perfectly able bodied and the area of London she lives in has many opportunities to find some sort of work, even if after tax it's not much more than what the government will give her for staying in bed. Ie. there's no reason why she can't work.
I think she's a good kid really, but with her parents ignoring her she's been allowed to drift without direction and this is something the government handouts haven't helped with.
So how to help her? Tell her to get out there, get a job, get fit and get a life? Not going to have any effect (tried it!). The only thing I can think of is for her parents to tell her they're kicking her out in a month and she'd better get a job, but that's not going to happen. Hopefully the new government will stop randomly paying these neets, or force them to do *something* for during with their time, but she'll still probably just stay in.
Tricky one and would be grateful for any suggestions.
Thanks
I have a family member who is a "neet", not in employment education or training and as she gets older (21 next month) she's slipping down a slope.
She's never had a job, and appears to have little interest in getting one. She went through the school system without achieving much, bailed from A levels, but her parents have supported her financially to attend other courses, which she's also bailed on.
She lives at home with her parents without paying rent or having any responsibilities. Although from a working class background her parents provide no support (don't speak to each other, one is a depressive who spends all the time working so doesn't have to deal with the home situation, other an alcoholic who was fired for being drunk at work).
Every few weeks she signs on. Apparently they ask her what she's been doing to try and find work and she makes stuff up, they then give her some money. She treats the money as something to have fun with and plans what she'll be spending it on when she gets it (bag, nights out, nails, shoes, etc..).
My girlfriend has pulled strings to get her a junior job where she works, but "it's two bus rides away" (40 mins) so that came to nothing.
She's dropped into a world where she's lazy, eats vast amounts of cr*p (so yes, has added weight), gets up at midday, only concerned with drinking, nails and sunbathing, and an "it's not fair" attitude to everything. She's on FaceBook most of the day (that she's not asleep) with most updates consisting of far too much text speak and slagging people off. She has no plan for the future and no idea where she'll end up.
She's perfectly able bodied and the area of London she lives in has many opportunities to find some sort of work, even if after tax it's not much more than what the government will give her for staying in bed. Ie. there's no reason why she can't work.
I think she's a good kid really, but with her parents ignoring her she's been allowed to drift without direction and this is something the government handouts haven't helped with.
So how to help her? Tell her to get out there, get a job, get fit and get a life? Not going to have any effect (tried it!). The only thing I can think of is for her parents to tell her they're kicking her out in a month and she'd better get a job, but that's not going to happen. Hopefully the new government will stop randomly paying these neets, or force them to do *something* for during with their time, but she'll still probably just stay in.
Tricky one and would be grateful for any suggestions.
Thanks
Tell she is doing it wrong- she needs security as her parents could throw her out anytime.
Sit her down and explain to her that she has to get pregnant ASAP- the richer the guy the better but even a poor one will do as then she will have the full support of the country and a guranteed roof above her head for at least the next 18 years.
Sit her down and explain to her that she has to get pregnant ASAP- the richer the guy the better but even a poor one will do as then she will have the full support of the country and a guranteed roof above her head for at least the next 18 years.
Whereabouts in London?
I ask because I'm currently working with Connexions to potentially place an 18-24 year old with my employer as a "get you workplace experience" type project that they are calling "Focusonwork450" and is being facilitated through Job Centre Plus and LECP. 25 hours paid work, on a fixed term 26 week contract to get work experience (employed by Connexions on NMW, and a criteria must be that they are currently in receipt of JSA). Might not tick all the right boxes but could be a start.
http://www.nvsc.org.uk/2010/04/26/find-a-job-seeke...
I ask because I'm currently working with Connexions to potentially place an 18-24 year old with my employer as a "get you workplace experience" type project that they are calling "Focusonwork450" and is being facilitated through Job Centre Plus and LECP. 25 hours paid work, on a fixed term 26 week contract to get work experience (employed by Connexions on NMW, and a criteria must be that they are currently in receipt of JSA). Might not tick all the right boxes but could be a start.
http://www.nvsc.org.uk/2010/04/26/find-a-job-seeke...
okgo said:
Sickening. And its so common. This is why the government needs to change something quickly. Or we get scum like this (sorry she isn't a good kid, she's a scumbag who has accpeted she is a failiure) breeding and filling the country with more of her creed.
Possibly post of the day?Does my f
king head in, and I can relate to it too, people that are on my facebook that I went to school with that do exactly the same (I've removed them I must say, it annoyed me too much), they passed their GCSE's yet still feel the need to speak like utter s. They sleep with any knuckle dragging cumbag with a penchant for H.Samuel, and moan about having to do ANYTHING.
They think the world owes them a living, they think they know better, and they think that everything will be alright. I expect certain people of this pitiful country, jealous, destructive, anti social types to have no drive in life, but to be allowed to get away with it is just taking the piss, and it simply has to change.
fk me, even the ones that do go to 'Uni' are a waste of blood and guts, walking round speaking like they're from some American ghetto, why the fk are you studying for? You think a law firm is going to want to take on a dizzee rascal act-alike with a fking Douglas Hurd (cheers shadwoninja 
)
And people wonder why I don't want to leave my middle class white enclave in the suburbs, because I detest the fking scum that seem to be coming out of estates like flies on the first warm day of the year.
king head in, and I can relate to it too, people that are on my facebook that I went to school with that do exactly the same (I've removed them I must say, it annoyed me too much), they passed their GCSE's yet still feel the need to speak like utter s. They sleep with any knuckle dragging cumbag with a penchant for H.Samuel, and moan about having to do ANYTHING.They think the world owes them a living, they think they know better, and they think that everything will be alright. I expect certain people of this pitiful country, jealous, destructive, anti social types to have no drive in life, but to be allowed to get away with it is just taking the piss, and it simply has to change.
f
k me, even the ones that do go to 'Uni' are a waste of blood and guts, walking round speaking like they're from some American ghetto, why the fk are you studying for? You think a law firm is going to want to take on a dizzee rascal act-alike with a fking Douglas Hurd (cheers shadwoninja )And people wonder why I don't want to leave my middle class white enclave in the suburbs, because I detest the f
king scum that seem to be coming out of estates like flies on the first warm day of the year.Edited by okgo on Tuesday 25th May 17:26
okgo said:
...
Top rant. I'm in an afluent bit of SW London (or at least i thought it was) and the students near me are complete mongs - can't possibly imagine what they are like in some backwater town. It's not that they act like t*ats - i think we all did silly things at that age - it's that they are t*ats!Edited by fido on Tuesday 25th May 18:25
okgo said:
Does my fking head in, and I can relate to it too, people that are on my facebook that I went to school with that do exactly the same (I've removed them I must say, it annoyed me too much), they passed their GCSE's yet still feel the need to speak like utter s. They sleep with any knuckle dragging cumbag with a penchant for H.Samuel, and moan about having to do ANYTHING.
They think the world owes them a living, they think they know better, and they think that everything will be alright. I expect certain people of this pitiful country, jealous, destructive, anti social types to have no drive in life, but to be allowed to get away with it is just taking the piss, and it simply has to change.
fk me, even the ones that do go to 'Uni' are a waste of blood and guts, walking round speaking like they're from some American ghetto, why the fk are you studying for? You think a law firm is going to want to take on a dizzee rascal act-alike with a fking Douglas Hurd (cheers shadwoninja )
And people wonder why I don't want to leave my middle class white enclave in the suburbs, because I detest the fking scum that seem to be coming out of estates like flies on the first warm day of the year.
You sound like an old aged pensioner. Especially the bit about loving your middle class white enclave in the suburbs (how any < 40 year old could want to live somewhere with that description beats me). Chill out.king head in, and I can relate to it too, people that are on my facebook that I went to school with that do exactly the same (I've removed them I must say, it annoyed me too much), they passed their GCSE's yet still feel the need to speak like utter s. They sleep with any knuckle dragging cumbag with a penchant for H.Samuel, and moan about having to do ANYTHING.They think the world owes them a living, they think they know better, and they think that everything will be alright. I expect certain people of this pitiful country, jealous, destructive, anti social types to have no drive in life, but to be allowed to get away with it is just taking the piss, and it simply has to change.
f
k me, even the ones that do go to 'Uni' are a waste of blood and guts, walking round speaking like they're from some American ghetto, why the fk are you studying for? You think a law firm is going to want to take on a dizzee rascal act-alike with a fking Douglas Hurd (cheers shadwoninja )And people wonder why I don't want to leave my middle class white enclave in the suburbs, because I detest the f
king scum that seem to be coming out of estates like flies on the first warm day of the year.Edited by okgo on Tuesday 25th May 17:26
Fido you must live near me (Surbiton by the river for me)
Shay.
What on earth are you talking about?
I come from a decent background, can string two words together, and have noticed that all the black and Asian young people I've been on a bus or in the gym with with speak like fking idiots (with a few exceptions), and it annoys me enough to hate being in the same place as them. It must be said they are the student types so they might work one day, but they fall into the the bracket that will not get a decent job because they cannot talk properly. I'm aware its cool to speak like your part of the cast of Kidulthood, but it just doesn't cut it in the real world. Some of these clowns are studying medicine.
Luckily, I live in a nice bit where its safe to walk about (this has nothing to do with colour, there are some horrid bits of this area, with all colours casing issues) and people are friendly and intelligent. You simply don't get that in the more depraved areas of SW London.
Shay.
What on earth are you talking about?
I come from a decent background, can string two words together, and have noticed that all the black and Asian young people I've been on a bus or in the gym with with speak like f
king idiots (with a few exceptions), and it annoys me enough to hate being in the same place as them. It must be said they are the student types so they might work one day, but they fall into the the bracket that will not get a decent job because they cannot talk properly. I'm aware its cool to speak like your part of the cast of Kidulthood, but it just doesn't cut it in the real world. Some of these clowns are studying medicine.Luckily, I live in a nice bit where its safe to walk about (this has nothing to do with colour, there are some horrid bits of this area, with all colours casing issues) and people are friendly and intelligent. You simply don't get that in the more depraved areas of SW London.
All kids are good kids and we should not write them off.That would be at our peril.
Scum eh,
I can think of many a banker you can apply that title to and they are adults.I don`t see much condemnation of those scum MPs who forged their expenses anymore. Yes, the examples we set our young people. It`s not the youngsters, it`s us that are to blame. Whilst we ` pillars of society` screw other peoples wives, nick time and money off our employers , sponge off the state, get pissed , don`t give a fk attitude about anything as long as we are okay is not good for our young people, but we society do it all the time. In fact I bet every person who reads this post has committed some of the aforementioned in front of our kids??,so now who`s the scumbags.
We don`t hear of those involved in voluntary work giving kids hope.God help us if they grow up with this kind of attitude, no wonder they are rebelious.
It`s society that needs to change.There lies the root of the problem
Scum eh,
I can think of many a banker you can apply that title to and they are adults.I don`t see much condemnation of those scum MPs who forged their expenses anymore. Yes, the examples we set our young people. It`s not the youngsters, it`s us that are to blame. Whilst we ` pillars of society` screw other peoples wives, nick time and money off our employers , sponge off the state, get pissed , don`t give a f
k attitude about anything as long as we are okay is not good for our young people, but we society do it all the time. In fact I bet every person who reads this post has committed some of the aforementioned in front of our kids??,so now who`s the scumbags.We don`t hear of those involved in voluntary work giving kids hope.God help us if they grow up with this kind of attitude, no wonder they are rebelious.
It`s society that needs to change.There lies the root of the problem
I think some of you have missed the question - how to help such a person.
Those who think she's "scum" (ignoring the fact she's never had any parental guidence and is quite lost) surely can't be advocating just writing her off and leaving her to fester with her only hope out of this to get pregnant?
The thing is she doesn't know any better. Her friends are the same. Her parents are non-existent. The government doesn't care. She has no guidance. She has no hope, aspirations or plans. And there must be hundreds of thousands of them in the country.
Getting these neets out of their bedrooms and into employment will be beneficial to society, the economy and to them... but how?
Here's just one I want to help but can't think of an approach.
Those who think she's "scum" (ignoring the fact she's never had any parental guidence and is quite lost) surely can't be advocating just writing her off and leaving her to fester with her only hope out of this to get pregnant?
The thing is she doesn't know any better. Her friends are the same. Her parents are non-existent. The government doesn't care. She has no guidance. She has no hope, aspirations or plans. And there must be hundreds of thousands of them in the country.
Getting these neets out of their bedrooms and into employment will be beneficial to society, the economy and to them... but how?
Here's just one I want to help but can't think of an approach.
musclecarmad said:
For what it's worth i'd sit down with her parents and i'd sit down with her. Find out what she wants to do, find out what she is doing. the thing is she will be demotivated and as her friends won't work then she won't have anything to aspire to. Ask her what type of holidays she'd like to go on, where she'd like to live, what kind of life she wants and build up her aspirations. Then find out where she things she will get to if she continues as she is doing (eventually she'll be pregnant living in a council estate). Then point out the error of her ways.
Tried that a few years ago, got nowhere.Parents should be considered as non-existent. I believe that to be the root of this person's problem (ie. no guidance).
sindeedy said:
musclecarmad said:
For what it's worth i'd sit down with her parents and i'd sit down with her. Find out what she wants to do, find out what she is doing. the thing is she will be demotivated and as her friends won't work then she won't have anything to aspire to. Ask her what type of holidays she'd like to go on, where she'd like to live, what kind of life she wants and build up her aspirations. Then find out where she things she will get to if she continues as she is doing (eventually she'll be pregnant living in a council estate). Then point out the error of her ways.
Tried that a few years ago, got nowhere.Parents should be considered as non-existent. I believe that to be the root of this person's problem (ie. no guidance).
sindeedy said:
I think some of you have missed the question - how to help such a person.
Those who think she's "scum" (ignoring the fact she's never had any parental guidence and is quite lost) surely can't be advocating just writing her off and leaving her to fester with her only hope out of this to get pregnant?
The thing is she doesn't know any better. Her friends are the same. Her parents are non-existent. The government doesn't care. She has no guidance. She has no hope, aspirations or plans. And there must be hundreds of thousands of them in the country.
Getting these neets out of their bedrooms and into employment will be beneficial to society, the economy and to them... but how?
Here's just one I want to help but can't think of an approach.
She is 21, she should have the motivation to do something, yes I've written her of as scum, and I'll bet you £100 in ten years time she's still scum, albeit with kids (on us).Those who think she's "scum" (ignoring the fact she's never had any parental guidence and is quite lost) surely can't be advocating just writing her off and leaving her to fester with her only hope out of this to get pregnant?
The thing is she doesn't know any better. Her friends are the same. Her parents are non-existent. The government doesn't care. She has no guidance. She has no hope, aspirations or plans. And there must be hundreds of thousands of them in the country.
Getting these neets out of their bedrooms and into employment will be beneficial to society, the economy and to them... but how?
Here's just one I want to help but can't think of an approach.
Her mates are the same, well guess what? stop being mates with them, its the only way to change. The government doesn't want to know? Are you f
king joking? This country gives out to more scroungers and fking losers than nearly any other you can name. I had no guidance, and barley saw my parents, they certainly didn't have the foggiest about where or what I should do. Yet by pulling my finger out (at 18, not 21) I got a job, and one way or another have found my way into a number of decent posts with no more than a few GCSE's. It takes work, you have to want to do something with yourself, and you can NEVER blame anyone else for not having that. Its your fault.So here I am today, I sound just like her, apart from the low income background, and text speak (I'm guessing she's pretty thick too if she thinks that is an acceptable way to speak) earning a decent wage and supporting myself. Its very possible, this country has an amazing spectrum of oppurtunity. Even now its still possible to make something of yourself with nothing to your name.
There is nothing that will make them change, as long as we keep paying out for them, why the f
k would they change? She has no aspiration, no dreams, fk all. So I'm guessing taking £60 a week and watching satellite TV all the rest of the time sounds pretty good to her.As I said, she needs to help herself, but I would strongly suggest its too late, perhaps meeting a semi decent bloke would be a start, but I'm guessing the types she's into think wearing jeans to go out is posh.
OP ignore the tory st spouters on here.
As a chap mentioned further up, get to your local 'Connexions' service.
They are much better than the job centre for this age group, and will be able to provider her with much more advice and guidance than most places.
They will give information, advice and guidance as well as setting up a 'case' which includes regular follow ups and further support. This will also include a 'matching' service that matches opportunities to her aspirations, These will include training, work experience and employment opportunities.
She needs some help and support from people that are not in her immediate family, this is the best place for her to go.
Getting her there will be the hard part.
Good luck.
t spouters on here.As a chap mentioned further up, get to your local 'Connexions' service.
They are much better than the job centre for this age group, and will be able to provider her with much more advice and guidance than most places.
They will give information, advice and guidance as well as setting up a 'case' which includes regular follow ups and further support. This will also include a 'matching' service that matches opportunities to her aspirations, These will include training, work experience and employment opportunities.
She needs some help and support from people that are not in her immediate family, this is the best place for her to go.
Getting her there will be the hard part.
Good luck.
Fittster said:
But they're not non-existent and if they combined with the state continue to fund her any efforts you make are doomed to failure.
Mother is a severe alcoholic. Been in hospital many times. Rarely seen out of her room. Quite amazing she's still alive.Father a depressive. Very quiet. No backbone. Never seen.
Hence "non-existent".
sindeedy said:
Fittster said:
But they're not non-existent and if they combined with the state continue to fund her any efforts you make are doomed to failure.
Mother is a severe alcoholic. Been in hospital many times. Rarely seen out of her room. Quite amazing she's still alive.Father a depressive. Very quiet. No backbone. Never seen.
Hence "non-existent".
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