Daughter and partner buying house
Discussion
My daughter and her partner have a young baby together. He has around £30k saves up for a deposit while she has only £4k. The mortgage in principle is in both their names, he is now acting a bit of a clown and says as she doesn't work then the house deeds will only be in his name. Her 'job" is to look after the baby so right now she can't work. The baby is 8 months and I'm guessing at some point she will go to nursery so she can work.I also understand his point of view in that someone is coming in and could potentially tap in to his sum of money. They are both young (20) and maybe some thought before hand was needed before getting pregnant .
I’m not sure Clown adequately describes him.
Whilst they could register the property as Tenants in common and put down share percentages relative to deposit value ( say 90/10 ) I’m not sure that would be totally fair to your daughter who is looking after their child.
Shame this couldn’t have all been discussed prior to the baby but sounds like he is looking at this purely in financial terms as opposed to setting up a home and life together.
Whilst they could register the property as Tenants in common and put down share percentages relative to deposit value ( say 90/10 ) I’m not sure that would be totally fair to your daughter who is looking after their child.
Shame this couldn’t have all been discussed prior to the baby but sounds like he is looking at this purely in financial terms as opposed to setting up a home and life together.
He’s probably on here and taken some bad advice from some of the bitter people on here by the sounds of it. It doesn’t matter how they set up the ownership really. The baby will be the driving factor if they end up splitting up on what happens to the house and who gets to stay in it. If he’s going to be an arse at this early stage though then maybe that’s a warning for your daughter about what the future holds.
If the mortgage is going in joint names, then the lender is very unlikely to accept only one of them being on the title deeds. Solicitor should be able to explain this very simply to them both.
If the mortgage is going in joint names, then the lender is very unlikely to accept only one of them being on the title deeds. Solicitor should be able to explain this very simply to them both.
CMTMB said:
To be fair it makes sense to be cautious. What are the chances of two 20 year olds still being together in 10/20 years time? It's got to be less than 50%, I certainly wouldn't bet 30 grand on it.
That little squidgy thing that cries and s
ts a lot is the priority, not worrying about £30k. If you can’t see that, then best to not offer advice. Opapayer said:
CMTMB said:
To be fair it makes sense to be cautious. What are the chances of two 20 year olds still being together in 10/20 years time? It's got to be less than 50%, I certainly wouldn't bet 30 grand on it.
That little squidgy thing that cries and sts a lot is the priority, not worrying about £30k. If you can t see that, then best to not offer advice. Just to echo what others have said - they need to sit down and have a long talk. Babies are bigger committment than any house. It should be a partnership 50:50.
Too many questions.
If this is a recent development maybe try and get to the source of what changed his mind? Has a bitter mate planted this in his head?
How did he come by the money? Hard graft or an inheritance? If it's inheritance he may be thinking more emotionally about money. Are you close with any of his family? Can you have a word with them?
Are his parents acrimoniously divorced?
If it was my daughter I would be saying hold off on the house purchase until he grows up a bit. Describing him as a clown is a bit kind in my book. I can think of a variety of more suitable names.
Good luck getting it sorted.
Too many questions.
If this is a recent development maybe try and get to the source of what changed his mind? Has a bitter mate planted this in his head?
How did he come by the money? Hard graft or an inheritance? If it's inheritance he may be thinking more emotionally about money. Are you close with any of his family? Can you have a word with them?
Are his parents acrimoniously divorced?
If it was my daughter I would be saying hold off on the house purchase until he grows up a bit. Describing him as a clown is a bit kind in my book. I can think of a variety of more suitable names.
Good luck getting it sorted.
Partner sounds like a pleb. Shown his true colours here tbh.
Good enough to commit to having a kid but not to put partner/mum's names on the house deeds and citing the reason as above. Doesn't sound like much commitment to the partnership moving forward. Unfortunately, raises serious doubts for the future of the relationship.
Not married I'm assuming?
dave7108 said:
...says as she doesn't work then the house deeds will only be in his name...
dave7108 said:
Her 'job" is to look after the baby so right now she can't work....
Quite.Good enough to commit to having a kid but not to put partner/mum's names on the house deeds and citing the reason as above. Doesn't sound like much commitment to the partnership moving forward. Unfortunately, raises serious doubts for the future of the relationship.
Not married I'm assuming?
CMTMB said:
Why can't he be protective of both? Why does it need to be one or the other?
Because a responsible adult would realise that one is far more important than the other and that’s where all his focus should be. The money for the deposit on the house is to provide shelter and security for his child. It’s not about it being his money, not hers. If it is then he’s basically a selfish idiot with no concept of the consequences of being a father. dave7108 said:
My daughter and her partner have a young baby together. He has around £30k saves up for a deposit while she has only £4k.
Say the house is costing £200K. They are borrowing £166K, £83K each. They become tenants in common. He owns 56.5%, she owns 43.5%. That reflects his bigger deposit. The mortgage is 50/50 because he wouldn't be earning anything if he was caring for his child, so the fact that he's earning and she's providing childcare is a joint enterprise. The guy is a fking knob.
My wives never had to work when kids came, I worked harder.
Different times I guess, in my day it was quite normal for mum to stay home.
First wife wanted to work, so her mum and I set up a little business where she could have the child with her, and my job driving trucks meant I could take him with me too.
All this engineered getting woman into work bks started shortly before everything blew up in price and the minimum wage being the norm, we just went along with it.
Paid a lot more into every house and don't resent the divorce settlement at all, its life, money isn't everything.
king knob. My wives never had to work when kids came, I worked harder.
Different times I guess, in my day it was quite normal for mum to stay home.
First wife wanted to work, so her mum and I set up a little business where she could have the child with her, and my job driving trucks meant I could take him with me too.
All this engineered getting woman into work b
ks started shortly before everything blew up in price and the minimum wage being the norm, we just went along with it. Paid a lot more into every house and don't resent the divorce settlement at all, its life, money isn't everything.
Countdown said:
Even if the house is 100% in his name surely if the worst came to the worst he wouldn't be able to kick her and the baby out?
Not being married then quite possibly he can.That was why the government was running this consultation on changes to legislation to give some rights to couples who are not married, or most usually the woman and any children, as they are the ones most impacted by situations like this - https://www.gov.uk/government/news/millions-of-unm...
Opapayer said:
CMTMB said:
Why can't he be protective of both? Why does it need to be one or the other?
Because a responsible adult would realise that one is far more important than the other and that s where all his focus should be. The money for the deposit on the house is to provide shelter and security for his child. It s not about it being his money, not hers. If it is then he s basically a selfish idiot with no concept of the consequences of being a father. If they were to split up at some point his finances would still continue to be focussed on supporting the child and keeping a roof over its head, so the idea that he can "protect" his greater financial contribution to the property is somewhat fanciful. His ongoing liabilities are going to make that look like small beer.
The solicitor can draft agreement what happens in case of sale.
For example he gets his deposit back first before any gain on house is split.
I dont think the mortgage company would agree mortgage just in his name if she is loving there.
If she is not on mortgage she doesnt need to pay bills surely?
Btw nursery is £80 Per day not counting breakfast club afterschool classes. 5 days a week thats £21k per annum after tax or £25 before tax. Does he want to split that down the middle as well biggrin
For example he gets his deposit back first before any gain on house is split.
I dont think the mortgage company would agree mortgage just in his name if she is loving there.
If she is not on mortgage she doesnt need to pay bills surely?
Btw nursery is £80 Per day not counting breakfast club afterschool classes. 5 days a week thats £21k per annum after tax or £25 before tax. Does he want to split that down the middle as well biggrin
Edited by Blue_star on Sunday 2nd August 17:09
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