How honest are you really?
Discussion
We all like to think we’re basically decent, honest people. But I do wonder how much of that is simply because most of us never get properly tested.
So, no judgement, no halo-polishing and no pretending you’d immediately ring the Archbishop for guidance — how honest would you actually be if temptation landed in your lap and you were pretty certain nobody would ever know?
A few examples:
You’re a police officer and discover a huge stash of stolen cash, gold or valuables. There’s supposedly £500,000 there, but nobody actually knows the exact amount. Does £5k accidentally fall into your sock?
You’re metal detecting in the middle of nowhere and uncover a pot full of ancient gold coins worth a fortune. Nobody has seen you. Are *all* of them getting reported?
You find a wallet containing £2,000 cash with the owner’s name and address inside. Easy one... or is it?
A cash machine gives you £1,000 instead of £100, but only debits your account £100. Are you straight on the phone to the bank, or suddenly very busy for the rest of the day?
You order something expensive online and they accidentally send you two. Are you contacting them, or deciding the universe clearly wants you to have a spare?
Amazon refunds you £600 for a parcel they think is lost... then it turns up a week later. Are you volunteering that information?
You buy a used car and later find £5,000 hidden under the boot carpet. Are you ringing the previous owner, or congratulating yourself on your exceptional negotiating skills?
Your employer accidentally pays you an extra £2,000 and nobody notices. Do you tell payroll immediately?
You’re self-employed and someone pays you £2,000 cash. Nobody else knows about it. Does every penny make its heroic journey onto the tax return?
You find a Rolex on a deserted beach with no engraving and no obvious way of identifying the owner. Lost property office... or new watch?
You’re renovating an old house and find £50,000 hidden behind a wall. The previous owner died years ago. Are you embarking on a moral and legal investigation, or pricing up a new kitchen?
You accidentally scrape somebody’s parked car late at night. No witnesses, no cameras and barely a mark. Are you leaving your details?
£5,000 suddenly appears in your bank account and you know it isn’t yours. How quickly are you ringing the bank?
And I think this is the interesting bit:
Does the amount change your honesty?
Would you hand back £20 without thinking, but start having a serious philosophical debate with yourself at £20,000?
Does it make a difference whether the loser is an ordinary person, a millionaire, your employer, Amazon, a bank or HMRC?
And the big one: if you genuinely knew you could never be caught, would that change your answer?
I reckon there’s probably quite a gap between how honest we think we are and how honest we’d actually be with a life-changing amount of money sitting in front of us.
So where’s your line?
And be honest.
Obviously
So, no judgement, no halo-polishing and no pretending you’d immediately ring the Archbishop for guidance — how honest would you actually be if temptation landed in your lap and you were pretty certain nobody would ever know?
A few examples:
You’re a police officer and discover a huge stash of stolen cash, gold or valuables. There’s supposedly £500,000 there, but nobody actually knows the exact amount. Does £5k accidentally fall into your sock?
You’re metal detecting in the middle of nowhere and uncover a pot full of ancient gold coins worth a fortune. Nobody has seen you. Are *all* of them getting reported?
You find a wallet containing £2,000 cash with the owner’s name and address inside. Easy one... or is it?
A cash machine gives you £1,000 instead of £100, but only debits your account £100. Are you straight on the phone to the bank, or suddenly very busy for the rest of the day?
You order something expensive online and they accidentally send you two. Are you contacting them, or deciding the universe clearly wants you to have a spare?
Amazon refunds you £600 for a parcel they think is lost... then it turns up a week later. Are you volunteering that information?
You buy a used car and later find £5,000 hidden under the boot carpet. Are you ringing the previous owner, or congratulating yourself on your exceptional negotiating skills?
Your employer accidentally pays you an extra £2,000 and nobody notices. Do you tell payroll immediately?
You’re self-employed and someone pays you £2,000 cash. Nobody else knows about it. Does every penny make its heroic journey onto the tax return?
You find a Rolex on a deserted beach with no engraving and no obvious way of identifying the owner. Lost property office... or new watch?
You’re renovating an old house and find £50,000 hidden behind a wall. The previous owner died years ago. Are you embarking on a moral and legal investigation, or pricing up a new kitchen?
You accidentally scrape somebody’s parked car late at night. No witnesses, no cameras and barely a mark. Are you leaving your details?
£5,000 suddenly appears in your bank account and you know it isn’t yours. How quickly are you ringing the bank?
And I think this is the interesting bit:
Does the amount change your honesty?
Would you hand back £20 without thinking, but start having a serious philosophical debate with yourself at £20,000?
Does it make a difference whether the loser is an ordinary person, a millionaire, your employer, Amazon, a bank or HMRC?
And the big one: if you genuinely knew you could never be caught, would that change your answer?
I reckon there’s probably quite a gap between how honest we think we are and how honest we’d actually be with a life-changing amount of money sitting in front of us.
So where’s your line?
And be honest.
Obviously
I would do the honest thing in all of the scenarios you've posted. In fact I tracked down the owner of a wallet not so long ago that I found in a car park - which wasn't easy as there was only one item with his name on in it. Having a name and then being able to contact someone isn't straightforward.
I would have behaved differently in my teens and 20's - I wouldn't have been as honest as I am now.
I would have behaved differently in my teens and 20's - I wouldn't have been as honest as I am now.
I don't know exactly what I would do but I think I know what I wouldn't do.
I'm always staggered by those "person found £200K wrongly credited to their bank account and spent it thinking the bank wouldn't realise" stories.
So if it makes any sense I don't know how honest I am but I'm pretty sure how dishonest I am not.
I'm always staggered by those "person found £200K wrongly credited to their bank account and spent it thinking the bank wouldn't realise" stories.
So if it makes any sense I don't know how honest I am but I'm pretty sure how dishonest I am not.
I once ordered an £80 pair of headphones from Amazon and they delivered the £350 pair in that manufacturers range so someone had obviously picked the wrong pair out the basket.
I told them on live chat and they apologised and told me to keep them (they were more bothered that I wouldn't be able to claim on warranty because what they delivered wouldn't match what I ordered).
I told them on live chat and they apologised and told me to keep them (they were more bothered that I wouldn't be able to claim on warranty because what they delivered wouldn't match what I ordered).
I too think I would "do the right thing" in all of those scenarios.
In Iceland a few years ago in a busy restaurant the bill came & it was not easy to see what number related to what so we just paid the biggest number on the bill & left it on the till as they were really busy & everyone was dealing with customers.
Went past the next day & noticed the price of beer, which I knew how many I had had.
Turns out the 2 biggest numbers were food & drink, there was no actual total, so I went in, fessed up my error and settled up.
They would NEVER have found us or seen us again as we were leaving the next day, but I couldn't do it.
In Iceland a few years ago in a busy restaurant the bill came & it was not easy to see what number related to what so we just paid the biggest number on the bill & left it on the till as they were really busy & everyone was dealing with customers.
Went past the next day & noticed the price of beer, which I knew how many I had had.
Turns out the 2 biggest numbers were food & drink, there was no actual total, so I went in, fessed up my error and settled up.
They would NEVER have found us or seen us again as we were leaving the next day, but I couldn't do it.
My dad told me as a kid that other people don't get caught, but for some reason people in our family always do. I can't remember what the minor was thing he'd caught me out on at the time, and I remember not really believing him, but it stuck long enough to realise it's just the best way to go through life. Of course, it's easier when you're not on the floor of Maslow's pyramid.
Do as you would be done by.
Not long ago, we were in a restaurant with friends, and I notiiced one bottles of wine hadn'tbeen added onto the bill.
So I told the waiter about the error, and he thanked me, and added the wine. The manager then comped our desserts, to thank us for our honesty, and we ended up spending less in total than we would have done if we'd kept quiet about the wine.
Not long ago, we were in a restaurant with friends, and I notiiced one bottles of wine hadn'tbeen added onto the bill.
So I told the waiter about the error, and he thanked me, and added the wine. The manager then comped our desserts, to thank us for our honesty, and we ended up spending less in total than we would have done if we'd kept quiet about the wine.
I've experienced a few of these things and took the honest approach each time.
amongst (edit: WTF? I capitalised that) other things, being dishonest is a liability and not worth the risk, especially if you get paid enough to live a comfortable life. Let's say you find the coins and keep one. Now what? Better to align to the legitimate process. Otherwise it's always hanging over you and that's no way to live.
Finding money in a house or a car strikes me as a little different, since I bought the damn thing. Might depend if I know who the owner is. I know about 'theft by finding' but you have to decide how realistic it is that you'll trace the true owner.
amongst (edit: WTF? I capitalised that) other things, being dishonest is a liability and not worth the risk, especially if you get paid enough to live a comfortable life. Let's say you find the coins and keep one. Now what? Better to align to the legitimate process. Otherwise it's always hanging over you and that's no way to live.
Finding money in a house or a car strikes me as a little different, since I bought the damn thing. Might depend if I know who the owner is. I know about 'theft by finding' but you have to decide how realistic it is that you'll trace the true owner.
Edited by trashbat on Sunday 16th August 08:23
I sometimes have a fantasy of finding £10k in notes in a bush or something. I'd keep that.
I was formerly a police officer and in a specialist unit. We dealt with organised crime, some of it international.
Twice I remember doing warrants at finding large sums of money. One time was about £250k in cash, in JD Sports bags in a wardrobe. The other time was less, about £100k in a brown paper bag.
On those same warrants we often found a lot of expensive goods - money has to go somewhere! Often handbags, watches, designer clothes
The idea of taking the money felt grubby. There's also the thought that sometimes there are hidden cameras or there is more to it than what you see. The logistics of trying to hide the money and spend it, is complicated too.
I'd not be able to live with myself doing that. Mainly as I'd just be as bad as those dirty criminal networks I was trying to investigate - grubby is the best word for it
I was formerly a police officer and in a specialist unit. We dealt with organised crime, some of it international.
Twice I remember doing warrants at finding large sums of money. One time was about £250k in cash, in JD Sports bags in a wardrobe. The other time was less, about £100k in a brown paper bag.
On those same warrants we often found a lot of expensive goods - money has to go somewhere! Often handbags, watches, designer clothes
The idea of taking the money felt grubby. There's also the thought that sometimes there are hidden cameras or there is more to it than what you see. The logistics of trying to hide the money and spend it, is complicated too.
I'd not be able to live with myself doing that. Mainly as I'd just be as bad as those dirty criminal networks I was trying to investigate - grubby is the best word for it
A recent example I posted on another thread.
I sold a car to a guy 200 miles away with no deposit and free delivery, he came across as genuine.
I arrived, he barely looked at it, made me tea, handed me an envelope and said he and the wife had counted it ten times. It felt to heavy and thick.
I insisted on counting it again, either he had bad eyes and misread the price, couldn't count, or was taking a 1000 quid gamble on testing me lol.
I returned the grand, asked him to drop me at the station, that never happened.
The 2006 Focus he was about to take me in and said he would be glad to get rid of, meant I was giving him 500 quid instead of buying a train ticket.
I got in it to find it was a sweet running auto, with a full tank of fuel.
I stopped for lunch shortly after leaving, put the car on ebay with my London address for 1500 quid. It was sold by 10.30am the next day for the asking price.
Karma does happen.
I sold a car to a guy 200 miles away with no deposit and free delivery, he came across as genuine.
I arrived, he barely looked at it, made me tea, handed me an envelope and said he and the wife had counted it ten times. It felt to heavy and thick.
I insisted on counting it again, either he had bad eyes and misread the price, couldn't count, or was taking a 1000 quid gamble on testing me lol.
I returned the grand, asked him to drop me at the station, that never happened.
The 2006 Focus he was about to take me in and said he would be glad to get rid of, meant I was giving him 500 quid instead of buying a train ticket.
I got in it to find it was a sweet running auto, with a full tank of fuel.
I stopped for lunch shortly after leaving, put the car on ebay with my London address for 1500 quid. It was sold by 10.30am the next day for the asking price.
Karma does happen.
Several years ago I made a commitment to not lie anymore. Whilst I did not lie about important things anyway, this included the little inconsequential lies (does this look good on me? etc) that most think are ok. I realised it is much easier to just be truthful (or silent), but it is also improved my sense of self - I knew that my integrity was backed up by honesty in everything.
In that vein.... The only answer is that I don't know how I would react in those scenarios unless faced with them. I know that I ought to not take the money and I would mostly likely do the right thing in each instance, but no one really knows until it happens. I do know that if I were to get it wrong, I would struggle significantly with my own moral compass.
Interesting question though.
In that vein.... The only answer is that I don't know how I would react in those scenarios unless faced with them. I know that I ought to not take the money and I would mostly likely do the right thing in each instance, but no one really knows until it happens. I do know that if I were to get it wrong, I would struggle significantly with my own moral compass.
Interesting question though.
This can work both ways as well. A few years ago MrsT and myself met an old friend and his girlfriend in a restaurant in Italy.The evening went really well. My mate and I drank 3 litres of wine, his girlfriend drank nearly a whole bottle of scotch and my Mrs proceeded to try and drink Italy dry of prosecco.Long story short we paid our bill in cash, we were just getting up to leave when the restaurant owner came up to us in a really distressed/confused as we had over paid by about 100€. We were so pissed we would never have known. We have since been back to that restaurant many times.
My dad always told me from a young age that doing the right thing was always worth more than any potential gain by doing the wrong thing. "Your integrity should never be for sale" was how he used to put it. Of course, I like anyone have told a white lie or two to save upset, but never for malice or personal gain.
First thought in any 'fortuitous' scenario I have ever found myself in has always been 'can I get away with it'.
Perhaps I am naturally dishonest, perhaps it's a learned behaviour from childhood, perhaps it's a competitive desire to always be 'winning' at life.
Yes I would try to get away with in each case and with the £500,000 I think I would try for a bit more than £5,000.
Perhaps I am naturally dishonest, perhaps it's a learned behaviour from childhood, perhaps it's a competitive desire to always be 'winning' at life.
Yes I would try to get away with in each case and with the £500,000 I think I would try for a bit more than £5,000.
Depends, if it’s a personal thing like the wallet then yes I would return it
If it’s something a business has lost especially though negligence then no, il keep it
A few years back I ordered a portable air conditioning unit, it was from a company online but delivered via amazon delivery, they delivered it to the wrong place, and I genuinely though it was lost so I raised a credit card despite that ended in a refund, the house it had actually been delivered too around the corner the owner came to me with it so I actually did get it, but I didn’t cancel the refund, serves Amazon right for just being lazy and not reading the road names
That also happened with some other goods worth about £20, delivered to a place within the same postcode but that comes up as the centre of it on Google when I live a bit further along the road. Other companies find it just right but Evri clearly couldn’t be bothered, so again, raised a dispute and got the refund and they also resent the goods
I don’t feel guilty when it’s though sheer incompetence
If it’s something a business has lost especially though negligence then no, il keep it
A few years back I ordered a portable air conditioning unit, it was from a company online but delivered via amazon delivery, they delivered it to the wrong place, and I genuinely though it was lost so I raised a credit card despite that ended in a refund, the house it had actually been delivered too around the corner the owner came to me with it so I actually did get it, but I didn’t cancel the refund, serves Amazon right for just being lazy and not reading the road names
That also happened with some other goods worth about £20, delivered to a place within the same postcode but that comes up as the centre of it on Google when I live a bit further along the road. Other companies find it just right but Evri clearly couldn’t be bothered, so again, raised a dispute and got the refund and they also resent the goods
I don’t feel guilty when it’s though sheer incompetence
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