Is this soft parenting?
Is this soft parenting?
Author
Discussion

Paul-427

Original Poster:

107 posts

116 months

Monday 5th October
quotequote all
So we are staying on a holiday village and my wife was returning from the snack bar with food. A small child, around 6 or 7 runs into her.

The mother, at a nearby table, looks at my wife and says "are you going to apologise to my daughter ? ".

My wife says "But your daughter ran into me. Surely she should apologise to me"

The response ? "Children should never apologise"

WTF ???

Am I really missing something or, with children and grandchildren, have we been wrong so long ??

welshjon81

738 posts

171 months

Monday 5th October
quotequote all
Id say thats non parenting.

snuffy

13,389 posts

314 months

Monday 5th October
quotequote all
Then the response should have been "Ok, in that case, are you going to apologise to me on behalf of your child?"

Muzzer79

13,198 posts

217 months

Monday 5th October
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I'd say that's st parenting, not soft parenting.

Unbelievable attitude.

Pincher

10,581 posts

247 months

Monday 5th October
quotequote all
"Then perhaps you should apologise on her behalf?" would have been my reply.





(About an hour later when I had thought of it biggrin )


Edit - didn't refresh screen before I replied, so didn't see snuffy's post smile

alscar

10,012 posts

243 months

Monday 5th October
quotequote all
Not soft but very poor parenting.
How will children actually learn.

Buzz84

1,750 posts

179 months

Monday 5th October
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It all went wrong as soon as she demanded that your wife apologise for being ran into.

Then to reply what she did shows terrible parenting.

Will be one of these parents who believe children shouldn't ever be told no...

When I think about it, in the moment I may not get my kids to apologise, But I would definitely be apologising to the person on their behalf and then immediately telling them off for running around and not looking where they were going in a restaurant.

To be fair they wouldn't be running around in the first place, as we would be keeping an eye on them in the first place!

_Rodders_

4,844 posts

49 months

Monday 5th October
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It's a 4 letter word and it does begin with S and end with T but it isn't soft.

trickywoo

14,237 posts

260 months

Monday 5th October
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A 6 year old shouldn't be running around somewhere people are carrying food and could be bumped into in the first place.

Poor parenting in the first and second instances.

I have had it the other way where a woman tripped over my 7 year old because she wasn't looking where she was going. He was standing still and had been for a while. She tried to blame the kid and I told her bluntly it was her fault for not looking where she was going. For context it was school pickup with kids everywhere so to just walk into a kid stood still was pretty stupid.

DannyScene

8,264 posts

185 months

Monday 5th October
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That's absolutely st parenting imo and only leads to further issues for the child moving forward lack of respect etc

Spare tyre

12,624 posts

160 months

Monday 5th October
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All part of life’s rich tapestry

I wouldn’t give it a second thought

Countdown

49,519 posts

226 months

Monday 5th October
quotequote all
Paul-427 said:
Am I really missing something or, with children and grandchildren, have we been wrong so long ??
Sadly there have always been crap parents, since time immemorial.

A normal parent would have apologised, and then also made her son/daughter apologise.

Actually a half-way decent parent would probably not have let their child run around like that.


vikingaero

13,451 posts

199 months

Monday 5th October
quotequote all
Paul-427 said:
So we are staying on a holiday village and my wife was returning from the snack bar with food. A small child, around 6 or 7 runs into her.

The mother, at a nearby table, looks at my wife and says "are you going to apologise to my daughter ? ".

My wife says "But your daughter ran into me. Surely she should apologise to me"

The response ? "Children should never apologise"

WTF ???

Am I really missing something or, with children and grandchildren, have we been wrong so long ??
That child will eventually end up in a Young Offenders Institute having had no boundaries set.

Hoofy

80,126 posts

312 months

Monday 5th October
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The "mother" probably drives a Byd and has a livelaughlove sign.

AB

20,579 posts

225 months

Monday 5th October
quotequote all
I'm smug in the knowledge that my daughter of 7 would immediately apologise profusely and feel embarrassed about it for a bit after I told her to stop running around in a snack bar.

Some parenting is utterly baffling, but to them it's probably pretty normal.

Somewhere in deepest depths of chavheads.co.uk there's someone complaining about the lady who didn't apologise to her little angel who nearly knocked the plate of chips she was having for breakfast out of her hand.


Rayny

2,451 posts

231 months

Monday 5th October
quotequote all
vikingaero said:
Paul-427 said:
So we are staying on a holiday village and my wife was returning from the snack bar with food. A small child, around 6 or 7 runs into her.

The mother, at a nearby table, looks at my wife and says "are you going to apologise to my daughter ? ".

My wife says "But your daughter ran into me. Surely she should apologise to me"

The response ? "Children should never apologise"

WTF ???

Am I really missing something or, with children and grandchildren, have we been wrong so long ??
That child will eventually end up in a Young Offenders Institute having had no boundaries set.
Alternatively :
That child will eventually end up as a university professor having had no boundaries set.


sinbaddio

2,879 posts

206 months

Monday 5th October
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Children shouldn’t be running around in a bar in the first place.

We have parks and gardens for that. Terrible parenting.

dave123456

4,012 posts

177 months

Monday 5th October
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Karen

Paul-427

Original Poster:

107 posts

116 months

Monday 5th October
quotequote all
dave123456 said:
Karen
Nope, that not my wife's name !

Paul-427

Original Poster:

107 posts

116 months

Monday 5th October
quotequote all
Spare tyre said:
All part of life s rich tapestry

I wouldn t give it a second thought
The only reason I have given it a second thought was my own incredulity that a grown, and presumably, intelligent person could even consider this a viable message for their child.