Help me write a pub quiz round
Help me write a pub quiz round
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Output Flange

Original Poster:

17,047 posts

240 months

Tuesday 5th August 2025
quotequote all
I'm writing a round for a pub quiz which is all about badly-described animals.

For instance, a waterproof chicken with a cazoo = a duck.

Have you got any gems that'd fit into this category? Prizes for the best ones, obvs.

StevieBee

15,285 posts

284 months

Tuesday 5th August 2025
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A horse drawn by a committee: A Camel

Furry Mallard: Duckbill Platypus

Small informer: Mole


RizzoTheRat

28,796 posts

221 months

Tuesday 5th August 2025
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Camel Leopard - the historical name for a Giraffe, the species is Giraffa camelopardalis

Voldemort

7,540 posts

307 months

Tuesday 5th August 2025
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Armoured assault Unicorn - Hippopotamus

Lo-Fi

1,290 posts

99 months

Tuesday 5th August 2025
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Voldemort said:
Armoured assault Unicorn - Hippopotamus
Wouldn't that be a rhino?

thetapeworm

13,776 posts

268 months

Tuesday 5th August 2025
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Some might not be 100% appropriate in a more modern settings but Bob Fossil from the Mighty Boosh may be a source of inspiration for some of this...

https://chimericallyblog.wordpress.com/2016/07/04/...



Slow Mover, Old Green Fart (Tortoise)

Hairy Orange Man from Tree Town (Orangutang)

Horny Grey Mud Man (Rhino)

Hairy Pocket Man (Kangaroo)

The windy man, the long mover (Snake)

The black and white Chinese men that eat sticks (Panda)

The Grey Leg Face Man! (Elephant)

The Naked Little Squashed Up Hairy Boy (Gorilla)

The Brown Little Hand Feet Man! (also Gorilla)

The Zoom Zoom Guy (Cheetah)

Mr Nose Licker (Ant Eater)





Edited by thetapeworm on Tuesday 5th August 12:15

williamp

20,381 posts

302 months

Tuesday 5th August 2025
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Got to be car relsted..

Used to be a Standard Swallow... Jaguar

Voldemort

7,540 posts

307 months

Tuesday 5th August 2025
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Lo-Fi said:
Voldemort said:
Armoured assault Unicorn - Hippopotamus
Wouldn't that be a rhino?
Yes. Brain fart.

Chunkymonkey_71

13,168 posts

227 months

Tuesday 5th August 2025
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Korean delicacy

(dog?)

oddball1313

1,515 posts

152 months

Tuesday 5th August 2025
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Crunchy on the outside, squidgy in the middle
Armadillo

Tango13

10,050 posts

205 months

Tuesday 5th August 2025
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Rat with wings ~ Pigeon

Tree rat ~ Squirrel

Magnum 475

4,143 posts

161 months

Tuesday 5th August 2025
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Definition of an elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.

TwigtheWonderkid

48,970 posts

179 months

Wednesday 6th August 2025
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Tango13 said:
Tree rat ~ Squirrel
I thought a squirrel was a rat with a great PR team.

Warhavernet

1,486 posts

16 months

Wednesday 6th August 2025
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Not really what you're looking for but some brawsome Scottish animals.

Cuddie
Puddock
Hoolet
Bubblyjock
Foggie Bummer
Grumphie

sc0tt

18,288 posts

230 months

Thursday 7th August 2025
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1. Soggy honk potato = Seal
2. Accordion tube with teeth = Crocodile
3. Formal lizard in a tuxedo = Penguin
4. BDSM worm = Snake
5. Angry spaghetti with legs = Tarantula
6. Satan’s bagpipes = Goose
7. Stabby land narwhal = Rhinoceros
8. Anxious trumpet horse = Elephant
9. Overcaffeinated trash panda = Raccoon
10. Underwater horse ghost = Seahorse

EmailAddress

14,640 posts

247 months

Thursday 7th August 2025
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Ring Fighter - Boxer
Found Nemo - Dory
Joker of the Sea - Clown Fish
Chris Waddle - Mullet
Christmas Dinner - Turkey
Aussie Idiot - Drongo

IanUAE

3,070 posts

193 months

Thursday 7th August 2025
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As used by James May and Richard Hammond: Jeremy Clackson > Orangutan.

S2r

787 posts

107 months

Thursday 7th August 2025
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Spicy noodle - snake