Discussion
generally asking for a friend, my divorce went like clock work so can't really help beyond telling him to try reason with her.
facts: married 30 years. 2 grown up kids - 25/30. £300k house paid off. business each - £50k net profit a year. £10k car.
he left, breakdown in marriage, grown apart etc. renting £700 a month. she's in the house. since sold the car and not given him anything.
now he wants a divorce, she's saying she's signing nothing, giving him nothing etc etc. she's keeping the lot, he left etc etc. 2 kids are trying to reason with her, amicable on both sides with the kids. tbf pretty 'normal' family.
looking online, divorce is £593. he wants to split the assets 50/50, house and cash. keep a business each. she can have all the assets in the house - he'll concede that for an easy life.
but she's still been difficult.
what's his best options please?!
facts: married 30 years. 2 grown up kids - 25/30. £300k house paid off. business each - £50k net profit a year. £10k car.
he left, breakdown in marriage, grown apart etc. renting £700 a month. she's in the house. since sold the car and not given him anything.
now he wants a divorce, she's saying she's signing nothing, giving him nothing etc etc. she's keeping the lot, he left etc etc. 2 kids are trying to reason with her, amicable on both sides with the kids. tbf pretty 'normal' family.
looking online, divorce is £593. he wants to split the assets 50/50, house and cash. keep a business each. she can have all the assets in the house - he'll concede that for an easy life.
but she's still been difficult.
what's his best options please?!
kingswood said:
what's his best options please?!
Get a lawyer, and be prepared to spend lots of money.It used to be that you had to wait 5 years to obtain a divorce without consent but it looks like that this requirement was removed recently.
https://raydensolicitors.co.uk/blog/can-you-get-di...
dundarach said:
Get some proper advice and stop being ripped off by his spouse.
Go see a divorce lawyer as soon as possible, explain everything, charge her occupational rent to sharpen her mind and pay the lawyer to sort it all out.
Otherwise, stop moaning to you, give her everything and walk away.
This - i've heard good things from a couple of people about Stowe Family Law; by all accounts they're the sort of people you want working for you rather than against you, the sort of firm i'd be engaging on my behalf were a (soon-to-be-ex) spouse being awkward.Go see a divorce lawyer as soon as possible, explain everything, charge her occupational rent to sharpen her mind and pay the lawyer to sort it all out.
Otherwise, stop moaning to you, give her everything and walk away.
Previous said:
Nothing to add other than I'd be surprised if he ends up with 50% of everything.
Why?Children are grown up and (presumably) have left home. If not, they're still adults.
It's all down to circumstances of course, but there's no reason on the face of this why he can't get 50%
kingswood said:
generally asking for a friend, my divorce went like clock work so can't really help beyond telling him to try reason with her.
facts: married 30 years. 2 grown up kids - 25/30. £300k house paid off. business each - £50k net profit a year. £10k car.
he left, breakdown in marriage, grown apart etc. renting £700 a month. she's in the house. since sold the car and not given him anything.
now he wants a divorce, she's saying she's signing nothing, giving him nothing etc etc. she's keeping the lot, he left etc etc. 2 kids are trying to reason with her, amicable on both sides with the kids. tbf pretty 'normal' family.
looking online, divorce is £593. he wants to split the assets 50/50, house and cash. keep a business each. she can have all the assets in the house - he'll concede that for an easy life.
but she's still been difficult.
what's his best options please?!
A lawyer.facts: married 30 years. 2 grown up kids - 25/30. £300k house paid off. business each - £50k net profit a year. £10k car.
he left, breakdown in marriage, grown apart etc. renting £700 a month. she's in the house. since sold the car and not given him anything.
now he wants a divorce, she's saying she's signing nothing, giving him nothing etc etc. she's keeping the lot, he left etc etc. 2 kids are trying to reason with her, amicable on both sides with the kids. tbf pretty 'normal' family.
looking online, divorce is £593. he wants to split the assets 50/50, house and cash. keep a business each. she can have all the assets in the house - he'll concede that for an easy life.
but she's still been difficult.
what's his best options please?!
She can't keep everything, and the finances aren't apportioned with relevance to who did what/ who left etc.The kids are grown up and non dependent, she's just being a woman scorned.
The starting point will be 50/50
She may be entitled to more but that will dependent on circumstances (eg did she give up a career and thus has reduced future earnings capability)
However if one party wants to be awkward it's just a s
t show.
I've got a friend going through it now and her husband is being a bit awkward so it's moving at a snail's pace even though they (in theory) agreed the finances ages ago and she agreed to less than her solicitor advised she could get.
She may be entitled to more but that will dependent on circumstances (eg did she give up a career and thus has reduced future earnings capability)
However if one party wants to be awkward it's just a s
t show.I've got a friend going through it now and her husband is being a bit awkward so it's moving at a snail's pace even though they (in theory) agreed the finances ages ago and she agreed to less than her solicitor advised she could get.
Muzzer79 said:
Why?
Children are grown up and (presumably) have left home. If not, they're still adults.
It's all down to circumstances of course, but there's no reason on the face of this why he can't get 50%
Because the divorce courts are stuck in the dark ages.Children are grown up and (presumably) have left home. If not, they're still adults.
It's all down to circumstances of course, but there's no reason on the face of this why he can't get 50%
My ex didn't want to work so didn't for 20 years, kid grown up, I ended up with 37% of the assets including pensions.
She kept the house (no mortgage) which amazingly went on the market a couple of weeks after the divorce was finalised at £25k more than she had had it valued at for the settlement.
Get a good solicitor involved (mine wasn't great) and hope for the best.
Jim1064 said:
Having made that journey myself, the only advice I can give is to get a solicitor. It's going to cost, that's inevitable. How much, that depends how much acrimony there is...
A solicitor won't make the wife come to the party and accept the situation.Until she does, it will just be a s
t show.First thing he should do is move back in to his home and save himself £700 a month and focus her mind a little.
Second thing is to get a solicitor and after an initial consultant ask for an estimated quote for the matter in writing. Present a copy of this quote to the ex to focus her mind a little on what she is about to spend.
Second point above is a controversial one though. If she is likely to get a rubbish solicitor then skip point 2 and see her in court.
When deciding where to spend money, spend it on a good barrister and either do the legal paperwork yourself or find a genuine McKenzie friend to assist.
My divorce and financials were tied up with child arrangements and got nasty on her part, but the financial side alone cost me over £30k to resolve and after 18 months she walked about with a whole £7k more than I offered her initially.
Good luck to your friend, life is about to get expensive.
Second thing is to get a solicitor and after an initial consultant ask for an estimated quote for the matter in writing. Present a copy of this quote to the ex to focus her mind a little on what she is about to spend.
Second point above is a controversial one though. If she is likely to get a rubbish solicitor then skip point 2 and see her in court.
When deciding where to spend money, spend it on a good barrister and either do the legal paperwork yourself or find a genuine McKenzie friend to assist.
My divorce and financials were tied up with child arrangements and got nasty on her part, but the financial side alone cost me over £30k to resolve and after 18 months she walked about with a whole £7k more than I offered her initially.
Good luck to your friend, life is about to get expensive.
S2r said:
Muzzer79 said:
Why?
Children are grown up and (presumably) have left home. If not, they're still adults.
It's all down to circumstances of course, but there's no reason on the face of this why he can't get 50%
Because the divorce courts are stuck in the dark ages.Children are grown up and (presumably) have left home. If not, they're still adults.
It's all down to circumstances of course, but there's no reason on the face of this why he can't get 50%
My ex didn't want to work so didn't for 20 years, kid grown up, I ended up with 37% of the assets including pensions.
She kept the house (no mortgage) which amazingly went on the market a couple of weeks after the divorce was finalised at £25k more than she had had it valued at for the settlement.
Get a good solicitor involved (mine wasn't great) and hope for the best.
Muzzer79 said:
Previous said:
Nothing to add other than I'd be surprised if he ends up with 50% of everything.
Why?Children are grown up and (presumably) have left home. If not, they're still adults.
It's all down to circumstances of course, but there's no reason on the face of this why he can't get 50%
OP - you/your friend need to get some advice. Many family solicitors (including good ones) offer an initial consultation free. Try a few of those and see who inspires some confidence.
An ex-colleague of mine got divorced in his late 40s
Paid off house (c. £400k)
Pension (c. £500k)
Cash in the bank (c. £250k)
And they had two kids, both in early teens.
He struck a deal where all the assets, including the above, were split 50/50.
What really annoyed his now-ex-wife was that he also moved for (and demonstrated it was practical to have) 50/50 custody of the kids, so he didn't have to pay child maintenance (she assumed that she'd get it regardless)
OK, he was annoyed about writing a cheque for the thick end of half a million quid for her 50% share, but it was objectively the right thing to do and he got a clean break.
Good legal representation is key to getting a decent settlement, if you have to go legal.
Paid off house (c. £400k)
Pension (c. £500k)
Cash in the bank (c. £250k)
And they had two kids, both in early teens.
He struck a deal where all the assets, including the above, were split 50/50.
What really annoyed his now-ex-wife was that he also moved for (and demonstrated it was practical to have) 50/50 custody of the kids, so he didn't have to pay child maintenance (she assumed that she'd get it regardless)
OK, he was annoyed about writing a cheque for the thick end of half a million quid for her 50% share, but it was objectively the right thing to do and he got a clean break.
Good legal representation is key to getting a decent settlement, if you have to go legal.
When you are married for a “long time” (not sure what defines long but 12 years does) all assets are “in the pot” so to speak and unless there are particular circumstances the default is that they are shared. Pensions are part of your assets you add to the pot when you marry.
Not right but how it is.
Not right but how it is.
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