What's the best car or vehicle...

[sadoksevoli]

...to run someone down with. I am not talking about instant death or a few minor bruises - i mean real pain and agony.

Someone dear to me got married to this "person" - he's a lying c - he married her just to get residency here in the UK - took her for a mug and me as well. SO once the divorce is done I am thinking of smearing this guy's lower half all over the road, dragging the rest of him for about 100 miles or so, preferably cross-country, then getting an industrial sized bottle of iodine and bathing him in it - then I'll really get started.

So which vehicle do I save up the pennies for - which one will make a mess? Which one will leave him eating Xmas dinner out of a straw and every other meal for the rest of his miserable life? Or should I just pray that poetic justice does exist?

[pies]

Once the divorce is through does he not lose his right of residency?
Whatever he's done pieces of shite are not worth bothering with.Best action is to pick the pieces up and get on with the rest of your life

[lx993]

Sounds like you need a vehicle with tank tracks rather than wheels.

Not particularly subtle, though

[alan_driver]

get a typical max power car, ie nova, saxo etc. Put a rediculas front body kit on, and when you hit him you will scoop him up and he should go flying.

[t1grm]

Not that I'm encouraging you to break the law or anything but see by-line article elsewhere on PH:

"The Skoda Superb has just received the dubious notoriety of receiving no stars in the NCAP pedestrian safety tests. Don't get run over by a Skoda."

Alternatively I've often wondered what a Cerbie would do to someone with all the GRP taken off. All those steel tubes sticking out n'all

Edited to say: F. Me !!! In the time it took to write that 3 other posts appeared !

>> Edited by t1grm on Wednesday 29th January 23:13

[sadoksevoli]

pies said: Once the divorce is through does he not lose his right of residency?
Whatever he's done pieces of shite are not worth bothering with.Best action is to pick the pieces up and get on with the rest of your life

Nope - -as far as I am aware once he got that precious piece of paper he can come and go here as he pleases.

[sadoksevoli]

t1grm said:
"The Skoda Superb has just received the dubious notoriety of receiving no stars in the NCAP pedestrian safety tests. Don't get run over by a Skoda."

Thx, as you might guess Skodas have a special place in my life...the Superb is quite a nice drive...but I would NOT want to sully such a nice car with this .

[agent006]

Cars are too obvious for inflictin a painful death. Too much evidence (who bought it, registered to etc)

You could saw him into one inch pieces, from the feet up. That might sting a bit.

[FunkyNige]

This good enough?

[t1grm]

FunkyNige said: This good enough?

What ????

Edited to say: Oh yes... I see now... Strange the link works now. What game's that off then ?

>> Edited by t1grm on Wednesday 29th January 23:39

[sadoksevoli]

Maybe he could wear one of these:

[tvradict]

better still, you could run him over, then stuff him down the barrel, making sure there is a nice LARGE shell in the bottom, Armour Piercing, so it goes right up his arse , then fire him off lands end

[funkihamsta]

Such anger...and hatred for your fellow man.


How about injecting him with a tiny amount of silicon: apparently it gradually destroys every joint and organ in your body, killing you over the space of about a decade...painfully.

[Pelo]

t1grm said:

FunkyNige said: This good enough?

What ????

Edited to say: Oh yes... I see now... Strange the link works now. What game's that off then ?

>> Edited by t1grm on Wednesday 29th January 23:39

Carmageddon

[Podie]

A Transit. Don't know anyone who's been hit by one AND survived...

[sadoksevoli]

funkihamsta said: Such anger...and hatred for your fellow man.

Believe you me, this bloke got a triple dose of the benefit of the doubt and was happy to accept hospitality and friendship. If it was as simple as how I've depicted it I'd walk away and just hope he crawls down a hole and stays there...but some things deserve pro-active retribution and this is one of them...one day...when he leasts expects it...when he thinks he's got away with it... I'm goinnto be there...

as for silicon injection - hmmmm, an idea once he's recovered from the first round

[tvrslag]

just steal the largest heaviest machine you can get your hands on, probably a transit or even 3.5ton luton truck or something similar, and run him over in that, should smash every bone to bits hopefully.
One alternative is to get hold of one of those huge american cars from the 50's/60's with the huge front bunpers and all the chrome trim and fins (something like a chevy bel air) that should make a good mess of him.
Last but not least as the weather is a bit dodgy at the moment get a m/bike with spike studded tyres for the snow, and run him over on that. Ok he might not die, but the level of pain should be good.

[stoneshed]

Find a men called 'Brick Top' and ask if you can borrow his pigs for a couple of hours. That should do the job

[g4ry13]

A new Range Rover, they're so big and heavy and if you hit someone they'll get their legs broken staright away and they'll go under the car.

[TheLemming]

stoneshed said: Find a men called 'Brick Top' and ask if you can borrow his pigs for a couple of hours. That should do the job

This would tie in very neatly with another thread, as apparently they should now be supplied with "toys".

Hey! This oculd solve two problems at once