UK 'citizenship test'
Discussion
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2713349.stm
Only problem I can see is that like in the US and Canada most of the "born" citizens couldn't pass the test :-)
New citizens will learn about institutions: By Dominic Casciani
Newly-arrived immigrants seeking British nationality should gain a knowledge of English, our legal and social systems and the roles of the Monarchy and other institutions under proposals unveiled by the Home Office.
The draft proposals for a national "citizenship test" include a raft of measures aimed at improving integration into society, many of them trailed by Home Secretary David Blunkett.
Only problem I can see is that like in the US and Canada most of the "born" citizens couldn't pass the test :-)
I can come up with a simple TWO question test for that
A) How will you describe yourself once you are living in the UK( this there descrption reguardless of race or origin)
Acceptable answers are
1) British
2) English
3) Welsh
4) Scottish
5) Irish ( dodgey on both side i know but still part of the union)
Anything else i.e
White
black
brown
indian
african
Pakestani
etc
or
is a fail
and you can FCUK off on the next boat
Q) Are you comming here just to sponge off the country and send all your earning/welfare back home..
Acceptable answers are
1) No, they really will kill me and my family slowly if i return home, and i wish to get a job here and become a member of society
anything else
i.e
Yes, i hear that you lot are an easy touch, i've left my family in my country and i just come here to get as many handouts as i can, and get a job on the black economy. I will then send most of my earnings out of the country. I will also compalain all the time you are a bunch of tossers and should all be killed unless you convert to < insert radical ideal here>
is a fail
and you can FCUK off on the next boat
I've no problem with ANYONE of ANY race or religion comming here provided they are either a valid assylum seeker. or can bring benifit to the country and pay their own way...
And one other thing, whilst you are waiting for you claim to be processed, being arrested for ANY crime will have you chucked out of the country...
Is that moderate enough...
P.s. the good thing is TONY BLAIR would fail
cos
a) HE is a T*SSER
and
B) I bet he would describe himself as a European
A) How will you describe yourself once you are living in the UK( this there descrption reguardless of race or origin)
Acceptable answers are
1) British
2) English
3) Welsh
4) Scottish
5) Irish ( dodgey on both side i know but still part of the union)
Anything else i.e
White
black
brown
indian
african
Pakestani
etc
or
is a fail
and you can FCUK off on the next boat
Q) Are you comming here just to sponge off the country and send all your earning/welfare back home..
Acceptable answers are
1) No, they really will kill me and my family slowly if i return home, and i wish to get a job here and become a member of society
anything else
i.e
Yes, i hear that you lot are an easy touch, i've left my family in my country and i just come here to get as many handouts as i can, and get a job on the black economy. I will then send most of my earnings out of the country. I will also compalain all the time you are a bunch of tossers and should all be killed unless you convert to < insert radical ideal here>
is a fail
and you can FCUK off on the next boat
I've no problem with ANYONE of ANY race or religion comming here provided they are either a valid assylum seeker. or can bring benifit to the country and pay their own way...
And one other thing, whilst you are waiting for you claim to be processed, being arrested for ANY crime will have you chucked out of the country...
Is that moderate enough...
P.s. the good thing is TONY BLAIR would fail
cos
a) HE is a T*SSER
and
B) I bet he would describe himself as a European
Nice to know I'm in - even if I don't like cricket. I'm from the Irish Republic which of course, is definitely NOT part of the United Kingdom. However, on the "Who would you support test" I will give a typical Irish answer - that depends on whose playing whom.
Soccer/Rugby/Athletics etc - I will ALWAYS support any of the British Isle teams when they are playing NON British Isle opposition eg - I would always root for England versus (say) Germany. However, if England were playing Republic of Ireland or even Northern Ireland, I would support the Irish team first.
I would be prepared to even fight for the UK in a war if it was for national survival (as many of my fellow countrymen have done) but I would have huge problems if the UK declared war on the Irish Republic (or visa versa).
Soccer/Rugby/Athletics etc - I will ALWAYS support any of the British Isle teams when they are playing NON British Isle opposition eg - I would always root for England versus (say) Germany. However, if England were playing Republic of Ireland or even Northern Ireland, I would support the Irish team first.
I would be prepared to even fight for the UK in a war if it was for national survival (as many of my fellow countrymen have done) but I would have huge problems if the UK declared war on the Irish Republic (or visa versa).
Eric Mc said: Nice to know I'm in - even if I don't like cricket. I'm from the Irish Republic which of course, is definitely NOT part of the United Kingdom. However, on the "Who would you support test" I will give a typical Irish answer - that depends on whose playing whom.
Soccer/Rugby/Athletics etc - I will ALWAYS support any of the British Isle teams when they are playing NON British Isle opposition eg - I would always root for England versus (say) Germany. However, if England were playing Republic of Ireland or even Northern Ireland, I would support the Irish team first.
I would be prepared to even fight for the UK in a war if it was for national survival (as many of my fellow countrymen have done) but I would have huge problems if the UK declared war on the Irish Republic (or visa versa).
My Grandfather actually resigned from the Royal Horse Artillery in 1921 (the Easter Uprising or something) because he "didn't join the British army to kill Britishers".
I think I used that tale once before and was trumped by somebody whose Grandad had tried to blow up Hitler.
Eric Mc said:
Soccer/Rugby/Athletics etc - I will ALWAYS support any of the British Isle teams when they are playing NON British Isle opposition eg - I would always root for England versus (say) Germany. However, if England were playing Republic of Ireland or even Northern Ireland, I would support the Irish team first.
I would be prepared to even fight for the UK in a war if it was for national survival (as many of my fellow countrymen have done) but I would have huge problems if the UK declared war on the Irish Republic (or visa versa).
There is no way on earth England will declare war on Ireland as there is nothing worth acquiring/stealing.
My sister in law is Irish and often points out the worst things shes eaten is Yorkshire Pudding to which I reply she married one
The "Easter Rising" occured in April 1916, smack bang in the middle of World War One. About 400 Republican Volunteers seized strategic points (mainly) in Dublin, declared Ireland a Republic and proceeded to take pot shots at soldiers amd policemen. Needless to say, they were totally beaten by the authorities and surrendered after two weeks. The bulk of the Irish population, especially in Dublin, did not support this rising as there were over 100,000 Irish men fighting in the British Army in France at the time. Unfortunately, the British Government decided to execute the leaders of the rising as traitors. The Irish population turned against the British government. A War of Independence ensued which ended in 1921 with the signing of a peace treaty in London. The terms of the peace treaty included the setting up of the Province of Northern Ireland which remained part of the UK and the setting up of the Irish Free State, which was not part of the UK. The Free State became the Republic of Ireland in 1948.
The ironic thing is that many of the men who fought for Irish independence in the War of Ibdependence (1920-21)had recently been demobbed from the British Army.
Although the liklehood of Britain and Ireland ever facing up to each other is very unlikely, it did happen in 1920-21 and came very close again in 1969. At that time, the Irish Prime Minister (Jack Lynch - leader of Fianna Fail, the Republican Party) said that "he was not going to stand idly by wilst British troops were on Irish soil". He was referring to the deployment of British troops to Northern Ireland. Of course, he proceeded to do just that and the Republic of Ireland (thank God) never intervened militarily in the Northern Ireland conflict.
>> Edited by Eric Mc on Friday 31st January 17:52
The ironic thing is that many of the men who fought for Irish independence in the War of Ibdependence (1920-21)had recently been demobbed from the British Army.
Although the liklehood of Britain and Ireland ever facing up to each other is very unlikely, it did happen in 1920-21 and came very close again in 1969. At that time, the Irish Prime Minister (Jack Lynch - leader of Fianna Fail, the Republican Party) said that "he was not going to stand idly by wilst British troops were on Irish soil". He was referring to the deployment of British troops to Northern Ireland. Of course, he proceeded to do just that and the Republic of Ireland (thank God) never intervened militarily in the Northern Ireland conflict.
>> Edited by Eric Mc on Friday 31st January 17:52
Hi Graham,
In my short time on PH I have generally stuck to the "Ferrari, Maserati & Lamborghini" section with the occasional foray into "General Gassing". Lately there have been quite a few 'foreigner' bashing threads many of which have well thought out, sensible and real arguments such as the genuine threat to the UK from imported terrorism. (It's a bit confusing, though, when asylum seeker / economic migrant / dark skinned foreigner / terrorist seem to be used interchangeably.)
Your two-question citizenship test comment has made me wade into the debate, and hopefully I won't regret it! Let me first say I am American and came to the UK 10 years ago on an intra-company transfer as a management consultant. I call myself British now, but have friends and colleagues who after many years here (some even having become British citizens) still describe themselves as American, Italian, French, Australian, Japanese etc. No one holds that against them. Even British actors who have become American residents and citizens still call themselves British. In your view is this acceptable any more or less than Indians, Africans and Pakistanis not calling themselves British?
As I said I now consider myself British far more than American. However - no matter how British I feel and how very much I have contributed not only through taxes but through my profession and much other value creation - I am not considered either British or American by quite a chunk of British society, because my parents were from India so I will always be seen as Asian here. Here are some of the things I have been called in the UK:
- Bloody foreigner.
- F***ing Paki.
- Smarta** darkie.
- Asylum seeker (while driving my Ferrari!).
There are too many other incidents on a regular basis to worry about anymore; one learns to live with it and keep smiling and not complaining!
Hopefully one can have sensible discussions on this very emotional subject of immigration without tarring everybody with the same brush.
Cheers, Amar
In my short time on PH I have generally stuck to the "Ferrari, Maserati & Lamborghini" section with the occasional foray into "General Gassing". Lately there have been quite a few 'foreigner' bashing threads many of which have well thought out, sensible and real arguments such as the genuine threat to the UK from imported terrorism. (It's a bit confusing, though, when asylum seeker / economic migrant / dark skinned foreigner / terrorist seem to be used interchangeably.)
Your two-question citizenship test comment has made me wade into the debate, and hopefully I won't regret it! Let me first say I am American and came to the UK 10 years ago on an intra-company transfer as a management consultant. I call myself British now, but have friends and colleagues who after many years here (some even having become British citizens) still describe themselves as American, Italian, French, Australian, Japanese etc. No one holds that against them. Even British actors who have become American residents and citizens still call themselves British. In your view is this acceptable any more or less than Indians, Africans and Pakistanis not calling themselves British?
As I said I now consider myself British far more than American. However - no matter how British I feel and how very much I have contributed not only through taxes but through my profession and much other value creation - I am not considered either British or American by quite a chunk of British society, because my parents were from India so I will always be seen as Asian here. Here are some of the things I have been called in the UK:
- Bloody foreigner.
- F***ing Paki.
- Smarta** darkie.
- Asylum seeker (while driving my Ferrari!).
There are too many other incidents on a regular basis to worry about anymore; one learns to live with it and keep smiling and not complaining!
Hopefully one can have sensible discussions on this very emotional subject of immigration without tarring everybody with the same brush.
Cheers, Amar
Extract from the new (labour) game show shortly to be shown on the
B(liar)BC......Asylum!
"Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of Asylum. Todays programme features another chance to take part in our exciting competition....Hi-jack an airliner and win a council house.
We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor, The British Taxpayer, and don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.
Anyone can play, provided they don't hold a valid British Passport. You only need to know one word of English "ASYLUM".
Prizes include all expenses paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights.
This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or eurostar.
No application ever refused!! All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: ASYLUM.
Only a few weeks ago 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown goat class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stanstead where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fastrack them to their luxury £200 a night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.
They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hostels all over Britain. Our most popular destinations include the White Cliffs of Dover, the world famous Toddington Services area in historic Bedfordshire and the money tree at Croydon.
If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience. Just apply for legal aid!! hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help, it won't cost you a penny.
So play today. It could change your life forever.
Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-pinochet activists, Kosovan drug smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, COME ON DOWN!!
Be one of the tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth. Roll up, roll up my friends for the game that never ends.
Everyone's a winner when they play ASYLUM."
B(liar)BC......Asylum!
"Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of Asylum. Todays programme features another chance to take part in our exciting competition....Hi-jack an airliner and win a council house.
We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor, The British Taxpayer, and don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.
Anyone can play, provided they don't hold a valid British Passport. You only need to know one word of English "ASYLUM".
Prizes include all expenses paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights.
This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or eurostar.
No application ever refused!! All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: ASYLUM.
Only a few weeks ago 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown goat class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stanstead where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fastrack them to their luxury £200 a night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.
They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hostels all over Britain. Our most popular destinations include the White Cliffs of Dover, the world famous Toddington Services area in historic Bedfordshire and the money tree at Croydon.
If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience. Just apply for legal aid!! hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help, it won't cost you a penny.
So play today. It could change your life forever.
Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-pinochet activists, Kosovan drug smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, COME ON DOWN!!
Be one of the tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth. Roll up, roll up my friends for the game that never ends.
Everyone's a winner when they play ASYLUM."
Amar360 Hi,
The Post wasnt ment to be 'foreigner' bashing
and related to somebody wanting to become a british citizen.. and i though the questions were much better than anything the govt could come up with
and probably more reasoned.... and i made no distinction on either the skin colour or religion as all i care about is attitude of the indevidual.
>>>>
Even British actors who have become American residents and citizens still call themselves British. In your view is this acceptable any more or less than Indians, Africans and Pakistanis not calling themselves British?
<<<<
No They are Americans....
>>>
been called in the UK:
- Bloody foreigner.
- F***ing Paki.
- Smarta** darkie.
- Asylum seeker (while driving my Ferrari!).
<<<
I hope you will accept my apolgies for the dumb ****wits that said that, although i do hope you replied to the last one with a large smile and asking in broken english where you can buy a passport..
OK after reading 308GT4's comment and a few beers i have carefully considered the problem and rephrased it into one new question.
Q) Are you a car Nut
to which the only answers are
1) Yes
2) Brrrm brrrm brrrrrm
anyone else will be shot as a tree hugger..
The Post wasnt ment to be 'foreigner' bashing
and related to somebody wanting to become a british citizen.. and i though the questions were much better than anything the govt could come up with
and probably more reasoned.... and i made no distinction on either the skin colour or religion as all i care about is attitude of the indevidual. >>>>
Even British actors who have become American residents and citizens still call themselves British. In your view is this acceptable any more or less than Indians, Africans and Pakistanis not calling themselves British?
<<<<
No They are Americans....
>>>
been called in the UK:
- Bloody foreigner.
- F***ing Paki.
- Smarta** darkie.
- Asylum seeker (while driving my Ferrari!).
<<<
I hope you will accept my apolgies for the dumb ****wits that said that, although i do hope you replied to the last one with a large smile and asking in broken english where you can buy a passport..
OK after reading 308GT4's comment and a few beers i have carefully considered the problem and rephrased it into one new question.
Q) Are you a car Nut
to which the only answers are
1) Yes
2) Brrrm brrrm brrrrrm
anyone else will be shot as a tree hugger..
Hey John, absolutely right mate... a car nut and proud of it!!! Give me a shout next time you're in London though I might not mind meeting up under sunny skies in Queensland either.
Graham, thanks for your nice reply! There are good and bad eggs in all national, racial and other groups of people - that's why it is dangerous to generalise.
Graham, thanks for your nice reply! There are good and bad eggs in all national, racial and other groups of people - that's why it is dangerous to generalise.
Amar360 said: Hey John, absolutely right mate... a car nut and proud of it!!! Give me a shout next time you're in London though I might not mind meeting up under sunny skies in Queensland either.
Graham, thanks for your nice reply! There are good and bad eggs in all national, racial and other groups of people - that's why it is dangerous to generalise.
Amar,
Gimme a
when you are out my way, as well as any other PHer 
It's still summer here and the woman are wearing less and less
and the missus is keeping a close eye 
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