Scottish Washing Instructions

[PatHeald]

All this talk of hats reminded me of a long lost ex-girlfriend from Abernethy.

She bought me a tartan cap, which was relegated to my "garage hat" when my wife found out who bought it.

It was looking a bit crusty, so I looked inside it to find the washing instructions.

It said:

"Made in Scotland: Washing Instructions: Do not wash".

Is this something that applies to all Scottish clothes, or just their hats?

Do any PH readers have experience of mildly amusing washing instructions?

Thought not. Another thread destined to go nowhere...

[plotloss]

Not washing instructions, but in a somewhat similar vein, on the back of sun maid raisins it says:

'Why not toss over your favourite breakfast cereal?'

Which I suppose is for the dairy intolerant amongst us...

Matt.

>> Edited by plotloss on Friday 31st January 20:41

[paolow]

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.

...

[pss1]

Yeah, Scottish instructions and definitions often seem a bit warped. A mate of mine was eating a 'Healthy Choice' sandwich (in St.Andrews) Only in Scotland could a 'Healthy Choice' be an 'All Day Breakfast' (fry up, not moooosli) I guess thats why they all snuff-it at 50... but at least they can drive in the snow

[t1grm]

plotloss said: Not washing instructions, but in a somewhat similar vein, on the back of sun maid raisins it says:

'Why not toss over your favourite breakfast cereal?'

Which I suppose is for the dairy intolerant amongst us...

Matt.

>> Edited by plotloss on Friday 31st January 20:41

ROTFLMAO

[beano500]

In the States (would be wouldn't it) I bought something which the shop kindly put in a paper carrier bag.

On the side it said "hold both handles"........

.......they need instructions for everything.....

[inmate]

On a walnut cake from the co-op. This product contains nuts.

[mybrainhurts]

Scottish washing instructions.

Problem is......Scottish things are in real trouble if they shrink.

As in this particular problem area. Read on.............

Im Robin Cook
I’m robbin you
Blind because, you see
I’m one of Tony’s buddies
And we tax you till you bleed

If I get caught
I just stand still
I really can’t be seen
‘Cos I’m the little goblin
Like a garden gnome in green

I’m a hardy Scot
And proud of that
I really don’t approve
Sassenachs say I’m funny
‘Cos of the way I move

I’m a lady’s man
They love me lots
I really make them wilt
That is, of course, until they find
What lurks beneath my kilt

I wear a beard
It makes me butch
But I end up like a whinger
Not through style or size or shape
But because it’s bloody ginger

My slight physique
Is like a plague
It’s really, really sinister
If I could grow a lot, I know
I’d be the new Prime Minister

An ointment remedy’s what I need
To make my stature grow
But woe is me
There’s no such thing
I’m doomed, I’m doomed, I’m wee