W@nkers who just don't pull over...
Discussion
Ok, I know: another rant about lane discipline but frankly, if I can't share a good ol' moan with you lot about this perennial motoring irritation, then it's a poor do!
Firstly, I'm not sure whether some of these outer lane bolshoids do it deliberately (to maliciously hamper others' progress at speeds they deem excessive) or whether the concept of reacting appropriately to things hoving in their rear view mirrors (assuming they even use the bloody things) an entirely discretionary course of action for their personal conscience.
What I do know is that in recent days I have twice been subjected to gitology of an unconscionable variety.
First instance involved a new Mini Cooper (a car I like enormously). On a fast dual carriageway, Cooper boy (or girl) proceeded to 'make progress' past the inevitable outer lane hogger who simply had not a clue about lane discipline (Micra, what else?)
Fine, I thought. Letting the small BMW (
) go through first, I duly followed. To my amazement though, el Cooper immediately crossed back out into the outer lane for absolutely no good reason - 
Ok, ok; so the inside lane tactic needed use again; tedious but there you go. Well feck me if the barsteward deliberately veered left to block my passage! Not only that, but slammed the anchors on too! Sonofab1tch!!!
Anyway, drop cog, apply anvil & rolex to you, you tiny willied drooling vegetable. Sheesh!
But even better was the white Hyundai 1.2 Lantra Mushroom Shredder Cappuccino GSi that I encountered, middle of last week.
Now as we all know, these vehicles use elastic bands rather than internal combustion for propulsion: they are HATEFULLY slow pieces of automotive excrement. I despise this brand almost as much as Daewoo - it reeks of thoroughly unremarkable utility with utterly no redeeming feature (a little harsh perhaps but undeniably fair).
Perhaps it shouldn't have surprised me to find the guy driving this particular specimen actually attempting to hold me off. Driving anything reasonably quick and therefore contrary to the rules of Korean car ownership clearly offends the latter type and they feel it justifiable to impede you accordingly: the icon of such social malignancy to these d1ckweeds, the 911, I guess, must be something of a red rag to a bull and so it was that I incurred the terrifying wrath thereof.
As the speed fired up to nearly 50mph, Lantra man was resolute; here he was and there I could stay...so with tedious inevitability, a different cog was selected, the hoof went a little heavier and whoosh, up the inside I progressed.
Well, I might as well have shot his family and torched his gaff. The leg was made and the glove formally thrown to the ground; lights-a-flashing and hands a-waving...here came the man. It was pathetic, really. He had been utterly arsey and wrong and simply got the spanking deserved. As I turned off and ape man came farting by, I caught the obligatory finger being raised in my honour.
This low brow post is bourne out of the pure frustration with a phenomenon that seems to be coming all too common.
And to think, gimps like this get to vote...
Firstly, I'm not sure whether some of these outer lane bolshoids do it deliberately (to maliciously hamper others' progress at speeds they deem excessive) or whether the concept of reacting appropriately to things hoving in their rear view mirrors (assuming they even use the bloody things) an entirely discretionary course of action for their personal conscience.
What I do know is that in recent days I have twice been subjected to gitology of an unconscionable variety.
First instance involved a new Mini Cooper (a car I like enormously). On a fast dual carriageway, Cooper boy (or girl) proceeded to 'make progress' past the inevitable outer lane hogger who simply had not a clue about lane discipline (Micra, what else?)
Fine, I thought. Letting the small BMW (
) go through first, I duly followed. To my amazement though, el Cooper immediately crossed back out into the outer lane for absolutely no good reason - Ok, ok; so the inside lane tactic needed use again; tedious but there you go. Well feck me if the barsteward deliberately veered left to block my passage! Not only that, but slammed the anchors on too! Sonofab1tch!!!
Anyway, drop cog, apply anvil & rolex to you, you tiny willied drooling vegetable. Sheesh!
But even better was the white Hyundai 1.2 Lantra Mushroom Shredder Cappuccino GSi that I encountered, middle of last week.
Now as we all know, these vehicles use elastic bands rather than internal combustion for propulsion: they are HATEFULLY slow pieces of automotive excrement. I despise this brand almost as much as Daewoo - it reeks of thoroughly unremarkable utility with utterly no redeeming feature (a little harsh perhaps but undeniably fair).
Perhaps it shouldn't have surprised me to find the guy driving this particular specimen actually attempting to hold me off. Driving anything reasonably quick and therefore contrary to the rules of Korean car ownership clearly offends the latter type and they feel it justifiable to impede you accordingly: the icon of such social malignancy to these d1ckweeds, the 911, I guess, must be something of a red rag to a bull and so it was that I incurred the terrifying wrath thereof.
As the speed fired up to nearly 50mph, Lantra man was resolute; here he was and there I could stay...so with tedious inevitability, a different cog was selected, the hoof went a little heavier and whoosh, up the inside I progressed.
Well, I might as well have shot his family and torched his gaff. The leg was made and the glove formally thrown to the ground; lights-a-flashing and hands a-waving...here came the man. It was pathetic, really. He had been utterly arsey and wrong and simply got the spanking deserved. As I turned off and ape man came farting by, I caught the obligatory finger being raised in my honour.
This low brow post is bourne out of the pure frustration with a phenomenon that seems to be coming all too common.
And to think, gimps like this get to vote...
I too have to use the "inside lane" with monotonous regularity Des.
These "limp dicks" seem to take it as a challenge to their manhood, that those of us who bothered to go out and buy something with more cubes than their spudmobiles then attempt to overtake them.
Whats their problem id like to know?
My cars pretty quick, but theres noway im gonna be a wank and try to hold of something i know to be faster, like a motorbike for instance.
I always move over for these guys simply cos theyre faster, more vulnerable and i generally have respect for those that break speed limits like its going outa fashion.
As for Mr. "ive got a pile of shite, eastern bloc turdpile" man in his 996cc Daewon or protoo, i have no such respect.
Just stay outa ma way!
These "limp dicks" seem to take it as a challenge to their manhood, that those of us who bothered to go out and buy something with more cubes than their spudmobiles then attempt to overtake them.
Whats their problem id like to know?
My cars pretty quick, but theres noway im gonna be a wank and try to hold of something i know to be faster, like a motorbike for instance.
I always move over for these guys simply cos theyre faster, more vulnerable and i generally have respect for those that break speed limits like its going outa fashion.
As for Mr. "ive got a pile of shite, eastern bloc turdpile" man in his 996cc Daewon or protoo, i have no such respect.
Just stay outa ma way!
Der, the number of times this happened to me last night, on my way out with the girlfriend to Richmond, is ridiculous. I was hoping this kind of sh!t would be an occurance rather than the norm. It is even more prevalent when in the 355. Last night, I had no less than 3 ****ers pull out in front of me, from the middle lane, for no f**king reason. It really f**ks me off when these c*nts act this way. Then, when I flash them over a few times, with no response, I undertake, they start to try and tail me, stick on high beam, or give the finger etc. I had the roof down, so am sure he say my "friendly" hand gestures too, bloody w@nker.
To some of these d!cks, its like going past them is having a go at their dignity. Now, on dual carriageways I am usually very patient with people hogging the right lane even if they are overtaking so slowly that it can be estimated what month in the following year they will get by, or if I suspect there may be a turning ahead, somewhere in the next 3 f**king miles, even though idiot should just turn into the right lane at the right time. But it wasn't like that last night. They were being deliberately f**king obtuse. Absolute f**king w@nkers.
One silly cow in her BMW kept looking in her mirror for where I was going, I went right lane, she pulled out first, even with a f**king Ferrari V8 screaming to take the gap first, and slamming anchors 'coz said bitch feels lousy if she is overtaken. Middle lane...oh look f**kface wants to go there too. Left lane...oh God, I could have smacked the cow after 15 mins of driving.
Oh dear, I feel so much better now. As you can see your rant is very heartfelt, and was probably timely therapy for me.
Excuse too, the constant swearing and cursing, but I guess this thread has little reuseable useful info, and its not like it was a virgin to it in the first place
DeR, I think I nearly exploded just then.
Take care mate, it's a f**ked up world out there.
To some of these d!cks, its like going past them is having a go at their dignity. Now, on dual carriageways I am usually very patient with people hogging the right lane even if they are overtaking so slowly that it can be estimated what month in the following year they will get by, or if I suspect there may be a turning ahead, somewhere in the next 3 f**king miles, even though idiot should just turn into the right lane at the right time. But it wasn't like that last night. They were being deliberately f**king obtuse. Absolute f**king w@nkers.
One silly cow in her BMW kept looking in her mirror for where I was going, I went right lane, she pulled out first, even with a f**king Ferrari V8 screaming to take the gap first, and slamming anchors 'coz said bitch feels lousy if she is overtaken. Middle lane...oh look f**kface wants to go there too. Left lane...oh God, I could have smacked the cow after 15 mins of driving.
Oh dear, I feel so much better now. As you can see your rant is very heartfelt, and was probably timely therapy for me.
Excuse too, the constant swearing and cursing, but I guess this thread has little reuseable useful info, and its not like it was a virgin to it in the first place
DeR, I think I nearly exploded just then.
Take care mate, it's a f**ked up world out there.
Touched a nerve as usual, Mr Derestrictor.
I'm minded to say that "it's better to get if off your chest with a good rant than have it festering around inside". However in view of the rising incidence, nay epidemic, of bloody-minded, obstructionist plonkers infecting our roads, pretty soon getting it off our chest will take up pretty much all our free time.
This afternoon while making reasonable progress in lightish traffic on a dual carriageway with a 3sumthing Beemer snapping at my heels, I happened upon a Prat (capital deserved) in a red MR2 sitting in the outside lane 10mph sub-limit. Needless to say
there was nothing in the inside lane, or the outside lane, for as far as either of us could see. Did he pull over? Of course not. There he sat. Matey in the Beemer was slightly more impatient (or else saw his chance before I could cover it) and hoofed it up the inside. For a moment I thought the MR2 was going to take him out. So did he pull over then? Of course not - he'd started and he was going to continue. So I had no option. One cog down, quick check over left shoulder and I nailed it. In the absence of a pre-programmed digital display in the rear window I had no option but to salute him with my middle finger.
Very soon cretins with no lane discipline will outnumber the rest of us. At that point perhaps we should just abandon the pass on the right rule.
Hutch
I'm minded to say that "it's better to get if off your chest with a good rant than have it festering around inside". However in view of the rising incidence, nay epidemic, of bloody-minded, obstructionist plonkers infecting our roads, pretty soon getting it off our chest will take up pretty much all our free time.
This afternoon while making reasonable progress in lightish traffic on a dual carriageway with a 3sumthing Beemer snapping at my heels, I happened upon a Prat (capital deserved) in a red MR2 sitting in the outside lane 10mph sub-limit. Needless to say
there was nothing in the inside lane, or the outside lane, for as far as either of us could see. Did he pull over? Of course not. There he sat. Matey in the Beemer was slightly more impatient (or else saw his chance before I could cover it) and hoofed it up the inside. For a moment I thought the MR2 was going to take him out. So did he pull over then? Of course not - he'd started and he was going to continue. So I had no option. One cog down, quick check over left shoulder and I nailed it. In the absence of a pre-programmed digital display in the rear window I had no option but to salute him with my middle finger. Very soon cretins with no lane discipline will outnumber the rest of us. At that point perhaps we should just abandon the pass on the right rule.
Hutch
CHARGE Go howling up behind them until they think you're not going to stop/haven't seen them. Then whack on the brakes while they're veering out of the way.
Or my current technique of choice, flash teh lights in rapis succession (2x per second ish), after about 7 or 8 flashes, they think it's a cop car, and duly feck off.
Technique one doesn't easily combinw with technique two, for reasons of style and being too close for them to see your lights.
LMAO have to remember that one!
gnomesmith said: Calm down chaps, if you get that upset they've won and you get the coronary.
I can see where you're coming from and I know what you're saying makes sense. But sometimes I just HAVE TO GET PAST, or I'll have the coronary then and there
>> Edited by WalterU on Saturday 8th February 17:23
gnomesmith said: Calm down chaps, if you get that upset they've won and you get the coronary.
Sir Ken;
Of course but please, imagine yourself at the cockpit of your Beaufighter (or Brigand Turbo?), on a crisp, dry, bright afternoon romp o'er your baronial seat.
The latest recruit to Numpties R Us mindlessly blocking your noble right of passage; you're really telling me, that you could withhold the urge to deliver the automotive equivalent of a bespoke volley from a magnificent blunderbuss, to teach the errant urchin their place i'th'great scheme o' things?
Come, come, Sir; smight you not the lower orders?
It's the least I'd expect from learned members such as your honourable self!
Ninja, my old appreciator of all things rampant in the roofless stallion department - thank you!
Just casting yet another longing eye over your object of my desire (
), I can but imagine the horror of what I'm saying in your case.
I would hope that many should recognise what's required with a 355 coming through but oh dear...what peasantry resist.
Pure, unrestrained envy. A response uglier than a Yugo styled by Arthur, primary chimp in Jersey zoo.
Just casting yet another longing eye over your object of my desire (
), I can but imagine the horror of what I'm saying in your case. I would hope that many should recognise what's required with a 355 coming through but oh dear...what peasantry resist.
Pure, unrestrained envy. A response uglier than a Yugo styled by Arthur, primary chimp in Jersey zoo.
Deliberate Obstructionists.......fcuking cnuts.
I mean lets get real a moment, the idea that when something like the DeR-mobile or the Ninja-mobile overtakes Mr Micra, that Mr Micra will even see them again on the same journey is absolute poppycock.
What we need is to revert back to traditional values with the ducking stool. If they drown they are not guilty, if they survive they are guilty and should have their driving licenses revoked for life.
Bloody greeneyed obstructionist peasants.
DAZ
PS - I have in the past contributed to serious discussions on this matter with the view that the speed limit re-enforces this sort of antisocial behaviour. It gives these cretins some sort of moral high ground in their belief that what they are doing is right. Come on Darling, derestrict the motorways you barsteward, let's make them safer.
I mean lets get real a moment, the idea that when something like the DeR-mobile or the Ninja-mobile overtakes Mr Micra, that Mr Micra will even see them again on the same journey is absolute poppycock.
What we need is to revert back to traditional values with the ducking stool. If they drown they are not guilty, if they survive they are guilty and should have their driving licenses revoked for life.
Bloody greeneyed obstructionist peasants.
DAZ
PS - I have in the past contributed to serious discussions on this matter with the view that the speed limit re-enforces this sort of antisocial behaviour. It gives these cretins some sort of moral high ground in their belief that what they are doing is right. Come on Darling, derestrict the motorways you barsteward, let's make them safer.
I`m sorry chaps, I did let the good name of Tivvers down only last week as I travelled south out of Glasgow on a 70 mph dual carriageway road. I was cruising along at 65 mph and as I went to overtake a small hot hatch XR2 type shit heap the baseball capped dude in the drivers seat decided to pull out to the outside lane to block my overtake and to my utter disbelief he was showing me the "bird". Ok, maybe I shouldnt have got annoyed, but there was no other cars about, so I decided to overtake him in the inside and gesticulate to him as I passed alongside that he was a looney! Now at this point I noticed he was a little insignificant shite of 30 years of age and of rather average build and height. I stayed in front of him until we got to the next roundabout where we were halted in traffic in the outside lane. Him stuck behind me. Being a 42 year old 6ft 2 17 stone type chappie I decided to get out my car, approach his rust bucket with a Kenwood sticker holding it together and in my best Glesga accent I asked the chap if he would get out his car and afford me the opportunity to "punch his ferkin heed in" The little weasel declined the offer, took fright and took off in to the nearside lane, overtook the last car waiting in the inside lane by cutting over the grass verge.To conclude the story, with the smell left behind he had obviously s**t his pants and I p***ed mines with laughter! So, if he thought all we Tivvers are pussies he got a bit of a shock- sorry again. Bye.
dazren said: SIMBA
If I ruled this country you'd be looking at changing career to Minister for Education. I can't imagine Estelle Morris giving this little turd a life lesson such as you dished out.
Top man, keep up the good work.
DAZ
Seconded! Indeed, what a great idea to have a Govern heedbanger as standard issue with all cars over a certain power to weight ratio!
Sensible policies for a happier, er, Scotland?
Bristol Beaufighter....mmmm... hang on, I feel a trip to the bathroom coming on....
Sorry, where was I? Oh yes.
Look, you don't even need to be in a wingless fighter plane to suffer these 2@'s: I get it all the time in my company Combo.
Many's the time now, en route homeward either from rectifying the operator-induced defects of the X-ray system at a certain alloy wheel factory in the West Midlans, luv, or (preferably) giving me Julie a good seeing-to in LE3, when I happen upon some middle-lane moron on the M1, cruising with their brain in the ashtray. So, without any pomp, ceremony or notification, I head for the inside line and watch for the reaction. More often than not, there is none. I don't even get a blank look. Very infrequently, the 2@ will realise what has transpired, and pull into the nearside lane.
I don't actually need to be breaking the speed limit for this to happen, yet the sad fact is that in the eyes of the Law I have committed a crime, and the numpty has done 'nothing'.
IMHO the charge of Driving Without Due Care And Attention should be levied, because whilst these 2@s may not actually be doing any harm, they frequently aren't paying ATTENTION and sure as sh1t don't CARE about their driving or what effect it may have on anyone else. At least while I'm undertaking, I'm expecting them to do something stupid.
Rant over... for the time being.
Ian
Sorry, where was I? Oh yes.
Look, you don't even need to be in a wingless fighter plane to suffer these 2@'s: I get it all the time in my company Combo.
Many's the time now, en route homeward either from rectifying the operator-induced defects of the X-ray system at a certain alloy wheel factory in the West Midlans, luv, or (preferably) giving me Julie a good seeing-to in LE3, when I happen upon some middle-lane moron on the M1, cruising with their brain in the ashtray. So, without any pomp, ceremony or notification, I head for the inside line and watch for the reaction. More often than not, there is none. I don't even get a blank look. Very infrequently, the 2@ will realise what has transpired, and pull into the nearside lane.
I don't actually need to be breaking the speed limit for this to happen, yet the sad fact is that in the eyes of the Law I have committed a crime, and the numpty has done 'nothing'.
IMHO the charge of Driving Without Due Care And Attention should be levied, because whilst these 2@s may not actually be doing any harm, they frequently aren't paying ATTENTION and sure as sh1t don't CARE about their driving or what effect it may have on anyone else. At least while I'm undertaking, I'm expecting them to do something stupid.
Rant over... for the time being.
Ian
Have to say that for once in my life, I had a run at the M4 (on the way home from VW last week) where all and sundry pulled out of the 3rd lane into the 2nd in order to let me past.
Must have happened 5 or 6 times in the one journey! :gobsmacked:
In fact once or twice the 'offending' cars even pulled in to let me past when I would have been happy to wait, as they had about 10mph on the cars they were about to overtake.
Its a sad day when courteous, sensible and (above all) alert driving suprises me rather than being the norm...
{edited to add:} Nice one, Simba!
>> Edited by pdv6 on Saturday 8th February 18:19
Must have happened 5 or 6 times in the one journey! :gobsmacked:
In fact once or twice the 'offending' cars even pulled in to let me past when I would have been happy to wait, as they had about 10mph on the cars they were about to overtake.
Its a sad day when courteous, sensible and (above all) alert driving suprises me rather than being the norm...
{edited to add:} Nice one, Simba!
>> Edited by pdv6 on Saturday 8th February 18:19
I had an idiot in a saab last night on the A303 ,Could see him coming up fast and flashing at everything to get out of his way , came past me doing about 85 ,anyway i pulled out to overtake a car which he had flashed to pull in and decided to sit up his arse flashing my lights for him to get out my way but he wouldnt move so overtook him on the inside at about 110 ,
What is it about the south , go north and everybody is a lot more courtious .
What is it about the south , go north and everybody is a lot more courtious .
Has this got worse recently?
On the way to the Rugby in Leeds last night on my short trip up the M1, I managed to overtake a total of six cars, three in one go, when I was in the inside lane and they were all in the third.
There were also numerous occassions where if the car in front had pulled over I would have easily got past without hampering his progress, but diving through on the inside would have been a little inpolite
.
Sad thing is, five out of the six cars were BMW 3 series driven my 30 something men.
I think that they have taken CarZees certificate of road ownership to be issued with each model too seriously
.
No point to make - just joining in the rant
On the way to the Rugby in Leeds last night on my short trip up the M1, I managed to overtake a total of six cars, three in one go, when I was in the inside lane and they were all in the third.
There were also numerous occassions where if the car in front had pulled over I would have easily got past without hampering his progress, but diving through on the inside would have been a little inpolite
. Sad thing is, five out of the six cars were BMW 3 series driven my 30 something men.
I think that they have taken CarZees certificate of road ownership to be issued with each model too seriously
. No point to make - just joining in the rant
Forums | General Gassing [Archive] | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff