Kamikaze Pheasants
Discussion
Why are pheasants so bloody stupid..... driving to work this morning down the A52, 50mph or thereabouts and a bloody pheasant decides he wants to end his life under the wheels of my car. He was lucky this time though, I only got his tail feathers, so he gets to live another day. But geez they must be the most unintelligent creature on this planet.
Has a daft Pheasant wandering around our garden last week pretending to blend in with the sparrows and blackbirds at our small bird feeders.
Pheasants aren't as stupid as pigeons. Round our way, they are big and fat and sit in the road and don't move even when 1.7 tonnes of Volkswagen is bearing down on them
Pheasants aren't as stupid as pigeons. Round our way, they are big and fat and sit in the road and don't move even when 1.7 tonnes of Volkswagen is bearing down on them
sadoksevoli said: Question is if you do run over a peasant and it's not too mangled, do you take it home, hang it for a day or two and then do some pheasant plucking (or get the butcher to do it), cook it and eat it? Pheasant satew with a red wine sauce ..yum.
Fish has always told me to bring it home for a nice bit of pheasant casserole, but I don't think I'd be able to pick it up.
Good People
I believe it only fair to point out that, sometime over the last few centuries, those parliamentarian chappies have changed the laws of this fair land.
I am also led to believe that no longer is one permitted, or indeed encouraged, to treat peasants the way you suggest.
Of course, in the good old days, if you were to run one down with your coach and horses, you were quite entitled to arrange for your entourage to remove them and for your cooking staff to prepare and serve them at banquet. Possibly alongside the suckling pig - your guests would hardly know the difference.
Latterly, it has become customary to offer the squire of the land a generous groat, in order to in some way recompense him for the inconvenience.
More recently however, it has become prohibited to even aim your carriage at the folk of the land. Some form of equality has apparently been bestowed upon these poor animals.
I fear for the future of this country. Soon peasants will be....
....I am sorry, was somebody interrupting?
Pheasants?!!
I apologise, I must have mis-read - I thought you were discussing "Peasants".....
I believe it only fair to point out that, sometime over the last few centuries, those parliamentarian chappies have changed the laws of this fair land.
I am also led to believe that no longer is one permitted, or indeed encouraged, to treat peasants the way you suggest.
Of course, in the good old days, if you were to run one down with your coach and horses, you were quite entitled to arrange for your entourage to remove them and for your cooking staff to prepare and serve them at banquet. Possibly alongside the suckling pig - your guests would hardly know the difference.
Latterly, it has become customary to offer the squire of the land a generous groat, in order to in some way recompense him for the inconvenience.
More recently however, it has become prohibited to even aim your carriage at the folk of the land. Some form of equality has apparently been bestowed upon these poor animals.
I fear for the future of this country. Soon peasants will be....
....I am sorry, was somebody interrupting?
Pheasants?!!
I apologise, I must have mis-read - I thought you were discussing "Peasants".....
sadoksevoli said: Question is if you do run over a peasant and it's not too mangled, do you take it home, hang it for a day or two and then do some pheasant plucking (or get the butcher to do it), cook it and eat it? Pheasant satew with a red wine sauce ..yum.
No, that's theft or even poaching!
Worst one I had was on a bike, doing 60-70 through some green lanes (in the Barbour, flat cap and goggles days) and got one of these buggers in the chest. broke 3 ribs and somehow I managed to keep the bike on the road, just as well there wasn't someone coming!!! Don't know to this day how I kept it (fairly) straight....
Cats, swerve to hit the stinkers.........
>> Edited by JMGS4 on Thursday 20th February 10:39
Its an evolutionary thing, cats and dogs can only really see objects in there primary field of vision, and even then the object has to be moving in order for them to get it in focus. And cars move to fast for them to take action.
So if Mr Cat is chilling out at the side of the road and see's Mrs mouse over the way, he's off without a thought for the green cross code.
Guide dogs though, whats the crack with them? I was watching one the other day, steering his owner round all sorts of street furniture and various road juctions, bloody amazing really.
So if Mr Cat is chilling out at the side of the road and see's Mrs mouse over the way, he's off without a thought for the green cross code.
Guide dogs though, whats the crack with them? I was watching one the other day, steering his owner round all sorts of street furniture and various road juctions, bloody amazing really.
Funny you should mention bout guide dogs Dave, cos theres a mutt up the road from me that actually does use the green cross code.
I kid you not.
I was watching him from my car on the high street in the rush hour, and he came trotting up to the kerb and sat down, began looking left and right, waited till it was stationary traffic BOTH ways, then toddled off to the other side, looking both ways as he went.
I was amazed.
I kid you not.
I was watching him from my car on the high street in the rush hour, and he came trotting up to the kerb and sat down, began looking left and right, waited till it was stationary traffic BOTH ways, then toddled off to the other side, looking both ways as he went.
I was amazed.
I had a phesant run in front of my car about a month ago just as I was about to hit it (no way to avoid) the b*****d thing jumped up and managed to hit the driverside light full on. AAARGH!
Thankfully lights are cheap but the missus going on abou the poor phesant whilst my elise is in pain is just plain wrong!
Thankfully lights are cheap but the missus going on abou the poor phesant whilst my elise is in pain is just plain wrong!
I killed two cats in two days, way back in the early eighties. The first one I hit at about eighty, but it went under the car and got twatted by the sump. The second one was definitely suicidal. It ran across the road, made it to the other side, then decided to have another go and came back again, where it met my front spoiler at a similar high speed. Cat Mousse is not easy to remove from plastic, but as the spoiler was shattered, it needed replacing anyway. The lads at the garage weren't so amused, though.
If you hit a pheasant on the road, you can pick it up if it is in season. It is not poaching, at least not in Scotland.
Basically, if it's still warm, it's OK. I wouldn't touch a cold one. Watch out for shattered bones in the meat, or it's a visit to the nice man at the hospital with the long nose pliers.
If you hit a pheasant on the road, you can pick it up if it is in season. It is not poaching, at least not in Scotland.
Basically, if it's still warm, it's OK. I wouldn't touch a cold one. Watch out for shattered bones in the meat, or it's a visit to the nice man at the hospital with the long nose pliers.
dave_s13 said: Its an evolutionary thing, cats and dogs can only really see objects in there primary field of vision, and even then the object has to be moving in order for them to get it in focus. And cars move to fast for them to take action.
So if Mr Cat is chilling out at the side of the road and see's Mrs mouse over the way, he's off without a thought for the green cross code.
Guide dogs though, whats the crack with them? I was watching one the other day, steering his owner round all sorts of street furniture and various road juctions, bloody amazing really.
While that makes sense, I have seen both cats and dogs with excellent (as well as other with very poor) traffic sense...a bit like humans really!
Maybe pheasants are just really passionate about green issues. This one this morning stood in the road looking towards this oncoming traffic. The Fiesta in front of me hit the brakes and actually ground to a halt before the pheasant wandered slowly back into the undergrowth.
It's situations like that that make you wonder why the game built around those very rules would be called 'chicken'.
It's situations like that that make you wonder why the game built around those very rules would be called 'chicken'.
What about Badgers then. A few years ago I got a cab home from a night on the lash and as we went down one of the country lanes (leading to the estate
) a bastard Badger was stood in the middle of the road offering the taxi out, the cabbie stopped and we both sat there looking at the thing as it tried staring us out, before a gentle toot of the horn followed by the bloody thing going into a charge and trying to head butt the front of the stationary cab, both me and the cabbie let out yells and jumped out of our skin before the hard bastard badger skulked off into the bushes. Those badgers they're nutters.....
) a bastard Badger was stood in the middle of the road offering the taxi out, the cabbie stopped and we both sat there looking at the thing as it tried staring us out, before a gentle toot of the horn followed by the bloody thing going into a charge and trying to head butt the front of the stationary cab, both me and the cabbie let out yells and jumped out of our skin before the hard bastard badger skulked off into the bushes. Those badgers they're nutters..... 
wits 
another 3 hours later they finally arrive with a low loader. 
Not totally following the same train of thought but there's a bloke who works within my group who was divebombed by a pidgeon one morning into work.
At the time he drove a newish Volvo estate and on this particular morning he saw this pidgeon flying towards him less than 2 feet off the ground. He just figured it would change direction as he got close, but it didn't and flew headfirst into his grill.
He pulled up to have a look at the damage and you could still see it's wings open and it's legs sticking back out.
He drove to work looking like he had some warped trophy sticking out his bonnet. We all went out for a laugh, then he reported it to the leasing company and they took it away for repair.
It was off the road for 3 weeks while his grill and radiator were replaced.
At the time he drove a newish Volvo estate and on this particular morning he saw this pidgeon flying towards him less than 2 feet off the ground. He just figured it would change direction as he got close, but it didn't and flew headfirst into his grill.
He pulled up to have a look at the damage and you could still see it's wings open and it's legs sticking back out.
He drove to work looking like he had some warped trophy sticking out his bonnet. We all went out for a laugh, then he reported it to the leasing company and they took it away for repair.
It was off the road for 3 weeks while his grill and radiator were replaced.
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