Hilarious Garage Quotes
Hilarious Garage Quotes
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Four Litre

Original Poster:

2,174 posts

223 months

Thursday 7th April 2022
quotequote all
Well I’ve come across a few opportunists in my time but this one took it to the next level.

My car went in for a recall, once in they took the opportunity to find anything they could possibly think of to drum up some cash!

The car had an MOT in October and the wipers are a year old. It a two seater convertible, so only two Bosch wipers!!

That’s £111 please



Oh and you’re can of tyre weld is out of date, that’s £100



Edited to add - blow an airline into the drains (rubber pipes)



Edited by Four Litre on Friday 8th April 11:07

Chubbyross

5,014 posts

116 months

Thursday 7th April 2022
quotequote all
Four Litre said:
Well I’ve come across a few opportunists in my time but this one took it to the next level.

My car went in for a recall, once in they took the opportunity to find anything they could possibly think of to drum up some cash!

The car had an MOT in October and the wipers are a year old. It a two seater convertible, so only two Bosch wipers!!

That’s £111 please



Oh and you can of tyre weld is out of date, that’s £100

It’s not a Porsche by any chance, is it?

Mr Tidy

31,855 posts

158 months

Friday 8th April 2022
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Holts Tyre-Weld costs about £10 a can in my local Tesco!

CarCrazyDad

4,280 posts

66 months

Friday 8th April 2022
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On one of my previous cars I was quoted £214 for a replacement 225/40/17 tyre


sherman

15,332 posts

246 months

Friday 8th April 2022
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£40 in halfords for the lot and you will still have enough for a magic tree for the mirror.

Four Litre

Original Poster:

2,174 posts

223 months

Friday 8th April 2022
quotequote all
Chubbyross said:
It’s not a Porsche by any chance, is it?
Could be!

Carlososos

976 posts

127 months

Friday 8th April 2022
quotequote all
Four Litre said:
Well I’ve come across a few opportunists in my time but this one took it to the next level.

My car went in for a recall, once in they took the opportunity to find anything they could possibly think of to drum up some cash!

The car had an MOT in October and the wipers are a year old. It a two seater convertible, so only two Bosch wipers!!

That’s £111 please



Oh and you’re can of tyre weld is out of date, that’s £100



Edited by Four Litre on Friday 8th April 00:22
That’s about as bad as we had on here the other day. Someone quoted £600 for a new battery fitted.

Bobton125

318 posts

100 months

Friday 8th April 2022
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A local MOT chain,
A brake light bulb that need replacing from 1 rear light cluster - £50!!!

10 minute job myself

Caddyshack

15,332 posts

237 months

Friday 8th April 2022
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My Rangie autobiography has active roll bars, it sprang a leak.

The local dealership wanted £4,200 to fix it "cos lots of hours". I told them that was a joke and they came back with ‘ok, £3,200’

I told them to give it back unfixed…it came back with a dent in the bonnet so they had to replace the bonnet.


It cost me £110 for pirtek to fix the hydraulic leak And that included them coming to me and fixing it on my driveway.

Caddyshack

15,332 posts

237 months

Friday 8th April 2022
quotequote all
Also, mini went in to mini for a service. I told them the fuse on the usb charger had blown so could they bung another in.

The bill had "£110 for diagnosis of usb not working, found to be fuse…fuse replaced"

I told them that they had just handed in their notice on servicing that car and we went to specialists thereafter.

ladsdad

2 posts

60 months

Friday 8th April 2022
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My main dealer very graciously informed me that they hadn't charged for labour when replacing a parcel shelf cord.

vikingaero

13,524 posts

200 months

Friday 8th April 2022
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BMW quotes something stupid (maybe £120) to replace a cabin air filter. It probably takes longer to bring up the booking and type in the menu code than to unclip the glovebox, remove the cabin filter and replace it. If you booked this on it's own, they'd add the compulsory £20-£30 computer hookup charge.

vikingaero

13,524 posts

200 months

Friday 8th April 2022
quotequote all
ladsdad said:
My main dealer very graciously informed me that they hadn't charged for labour when replacing a parcel shelf cord.
My Mum gave me back the Zafira (52 plate so not worth a lot despite being pristine) that I gave her to use to transport old biddies around for the charity she helps.

About a month later it started misfiring and had 101 issues. I said to the mechanic to spend no more than £100 on looking into it as I would scrap it. He spent 3-4 hours trying everything and was stumped. It had similar issues about 3 years previously and my trusted garage couldn't figure it out either, but it fixed itself. On collecting he said because he hadn't fixed it so he wasn't going to charge me. I said that's not how it works. Cue a stand off between two stubborn guys. In the end I gave up, went to Tesco nearby and bought his wife a £100 voucher for their new baby.

Limpet

6,628 posts

192 months

Friday 8th April 2022
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vikingaero said:
. If you booked this on it's own, they'd add the compulsory £20-£30 computer hookup charge.
They do this for all routine servicing as well.

A mandatory part of the service, itemised and billed separately to the service cost itself. You can't not have it. So why not put it in the overall cost?

andyvvc

267 posts

174 months

Friday 8th April 2022
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I once dropped my 350z in with a local Nissan HP centre. It was booked for oil+filter only.
I got a call later that morning to advise that all four brake discs were badly corroded and should be replaced. Likewise they also recommended that the pads be replaced.

I asked them if they were certain? Had there been another 350z in that day?

No - no other 350z booked in at all that week. They were certain it needed doing.

I asked them to check in the glove box . . . for the receipt from my Indy who had replaced the discs and pads with new Brembos only one month earlier.


Muzzer79

13,249 posts

218 months

Friday 8th April 2022
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My main dealer informed me with pride that they were going to waive the labour charge for fitting a new, screwtop, coolant reservoir top. rolleyes

PositronicRay

29,089 posts

214 months

Friday 8th April 2022
quotequote all
Mr Tidy said:
Holts Tyre-Weld costs about £10 a can in my local Tesco!
Yeah but it's the labour element.

Find keys on tracker board
Find car in compound
Blocked in by a valeters
Find valeter, wait whilst he finishes his rollup
Put car on ramp
Open boot remove old can for safe disposal
Go to parts counter
Kept waiting whilst parts bloke finishes game of candy crush
Sealant on back order
Put car back in car park

Repeat the following day(s) until sealant has arrived.

ro250

3,361 posts

88 months

Friday 8th April 2022
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I mustn't generalise, but in my recent experience, the dealers don't care.

Our Merc A250 is due a service soon (basically, oil service and brake fluid change plus basic checks and top-ups). Quote was nearly £400. They rang a few days later and I said I didn't want to book as it was way too expensive - "OK sir, thank you, goodbye" was the reply.

J4CKO

47,065 posts

231 months

Friday 8th April 2022
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We bought a new Golf years ago as we were starting a family, had a good realtionship with the main dealers having had a few cars off them, stone broke the fog light lens. I rang up and ordered one and the chaps said to collect it the following day.

Wife went in, heavily pregnant, part was like £30 and the young chap who served her said "I will pop that on for you" all smiling and being nice due to her condition she thought, two screws were undone, old one removed and new one fitted.

He comes back to sort the bill and its £70, £40 pounds labour ffs, she queried this and he said "Sorry, can only bill labour as a minimum of an hour on the invoice", it took him maybe 2 minutes with a screwdriver. She tried protesting but he was adamant and she was not up for arguing.

So we sent a letter to the dealer manager and got a nice one back saying we shouldnt have been charged, we were refunded and got a free service.

georgeyboy12345

4,664 posts

66 months

Friday 8th April 2022
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One of these threads pops up every so often, but I do enjoy reading people’s stories in them. Absolutely outrageous!

The badge once fell off the front of my Audi (yes that legendary German build quality), I called the nearest main dealer (Inchcape), the girl on the phone said they could “diagnose the problem” for £100. £100 to look at the front of the car and say, “yep, the badge has fallen off”.