Holden HSV Maloo R8 | Spotted
Australians are happier on average than Brits. This may be the reason why
Remember the purple Bentley Flying Spur ‘Decadence’ pickup that recently graced the PH homepage? Hard to shake the image of a purple Bentley with a teak-decked cargo bed and caramel brown leather interior with a forest’s worth of walnut panelling. Obviously, it wasn’t the work of the marque’s coachbuilding arm Mulliner (perhaps it’ll serve as inspiration for the future), but then again, would you really want the same team behind the waftiest of Bantaygas sorting you out with a pickup conversion? Surely, if you want the job done properly, you call on the Aussies.
So, I present to you this exceptionally vibrant Holden HSV Maloo R8 as a bought-not-built alternative to the ‘Decadence’. And at £46,995, it’s over £100,000 cheaper than the purple Spur. True, the novelty factor isn’t quite as strong as seeing a luxo-barge that’s been tailor-made for affluent tradespeople, but just remember that the Maloo is a humble Commodore at heart – and we all know there’s nothing greater than shoving massive engines into places where they don’t belong. The fact that you can bung slabs of wood in the back without lowering the seats or mucking up the carpets is the icing on the cake.
Unfortunately, the days of the V8 ute look over as demand has waned against the rising popularity of more conventional pickups. But the ute’s popularity in the 2000s and early 2010s was so great that local manufacturers (Ford Australia included) were churning them out for tradespeople looking to spice up journeys between jobs. And if you happened to pop into your local Holden dealer with money in your pocket and a hankering for a V8-powered workhorse, the salesperson would have pointed you towards this HSV Maloon R8 – not that you would have missed it.
What your AU$61,550 (or £31,200!) would have got you is a two-door truck powered by the same 6.2-litre, naturally aspirated LS3 V8 that could also be found on the facelifted Chevrolet Corvette C6, among many other GM powerhouses. The ad claims a power figure of 455hp, though official numbers (and the plaque of the dyno readout on top of the engine) puts the figure at 431hp. Still, enough to get you and some two-by-four from 0-62mph in less than five seconds before hitting a top speed of 168mph. To get that sort of performance from a van, you’d need to ask Ford for another electric Supervan.
Most vans won’t let you do power slides, either. I don’t doubt the Australian reviewers who say the Maloo can be rather tail-happy, though the traction control system apparently allows for a decent amount of slip before stepping in. And while some may say the interior looks a bit cheap and plasticky (it’s a 15-year-old GM product, after all), if you’re seriously thinking about using this as a work car – and I really hope you are – then surely you’ll want something that’s bland enough for the occasional scuff and tear to not matter.
Besides, the outlandish green paint makes up for the naff cabin, as will the sound of an American V8 on a chilly morning. Vans and pickups are more practical, admittedly, while this Vauxhall VXR8 of similar vintage offers similar power with space for three occupants in the rear. None will be as arresting as this, mind, nor will any of them have you waking up early to get a quick blast in before hitting your first job.
SPECIFICATION | HOLDEN HSV MALOO R8
Engine: 6,162cc V8
Transmission: six-speed manual, rear-wheel drive
Power (hp): 431@6,000rpm
Torque (lb ft): 406@4,600rpm
MPG: N/A
CO2: N/A
Year registered: 2008
Recorded mileage: 41,831
Price new: AU$61,550 (Australia)
Yours for: £46,995
Price wise these have always held their value well which keeps me away from one, they do command a premium over the VXR8/Monaro (and even Corvettes) and as fun as they look I'm not sure I'd rather have this over a C7 Vette.
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