Speeding - the classic answer

[cpasmart]

While I was driving down the M4 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.


The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked "Runway too short?"



To which I replied, "I'm late for work". To which he asked, "What do you do". "I'm a rectum stretcher", I responded.



The copper was surprised and confused. "A what"?



"A rectum stretcher"??

"And just what does a rectum stretcher do"?;

"Well", I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I
work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet".



Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously,
"And just what do you do with a six-foot a***hole?

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge"


Speeding ticket: £105.00
Court costs: £45.00
Look on copper's face . Priceless....