Speak bloody English!
Discussion
When not posting rubbish on Pistonheads, I spend my professional time helping companies to communicate more effectively. This is often not an easy job, particularly as many of my customers are in the technology sector and are almost exclusively staffed by a combination of MBA students and technogeeks.
The hardest part of my job is trying to understand what people are trying to say, so that I can communicate to their customers in a way that they might understand. Here comes my point. Why are so many companies insistent on writing complete and utter rubbish? Technology businesses seem to think that if they write exclusively in jargon and MBA-speak that they mysteriously identify themselves as highly professional and having great intelligence. This is nonsense.
I've just won a new client and I'm busy rewriting their website and brochure before embarking on media work. Here's their existing homepage:
(Copy removed - I had edited out the company name but some people thought it would be amusing to spend time identifying them on Google, and I can't risk upsetting a new client).
Eh?!!
I've spent half the day today trying to turn this into something intelligible. The more I read it, the less sense it seems to make. I know there are lots of techy PHers, so let me offer some heartfelt advice about corporate communications.
SPEAK BLOODY ENGLISH!!!
>> Edited by Mon Ami Mate on Friday 4th November 01:00
The hardest part of my job is trying to understand what people are trying to say, so that I can communicate to their customers in a way that they might understand. Here comes my point. Why are so many companies insistent on writing complete and utter rubbish? Technology businesses seem to think that if they write exclusively in jargon and MBA-speak that they mysteriously identify themselves as highly professional and having great intelligence. This is nonsense.
I've just won a new client and I'm busy rewriting their website and brochure before embarking on media work. Here's their existing homepage:
(Copy removed - I had edited out the company name but some people thought it would be amusing to spend time identifying them on Google, and I can't risk upsetting a new client).
Eh?!! I've spent half the day today trying to turn this into something intelligible. The more I read it, the less sense it seems to make. I know there are lots of techy PHers, so let me offer some heartfelt advice about corporate communications.
SPEAK BLOODY ENGLISH!!! >> Edited by Mon Ami Mate on Friday 4th November 01:00
I'd say from experience that the text you present, is the result of non technical people marketing a technical product that is poorly understood by the marketeers.
If you'd had a techie produce the equivalent, then you'd get a raft of buzzwords and acronyms but they'd mean something. If you were in doubt you could ask.
I don't think that text says anything more than;
"YOU NEED THIS STUFF, EVERYONE ELSE IS BUYING IT..... GIVE US YOUR MONEY"
Edited to add;
I think, though I could be wrong, that "Enterprise Content management" is YANspeak (yet another acronym) for RSS, and that whole bag of stuff.
As for RSS.....
See>http://msdn.microsoft.com/aboutmsdn/r
>> Edited by dilbert on Thursday 3rd November 15:13
If you'd had a techie produce the equivalent, then you'd get a raft of buzzwords and acronyms but they'd mean something. If you were in doubt you could ask.
I don't think that text says anything more than;
"YOU NEED THIS STUFF, EVERYONE ELSE IS BUYING IT..... GIVE US YOUR MONEY"
Edited to add;
I think, though I could be wrong, that "Enterprise Content management" is YANspeak (yet another acronym) for RSS, and that whole bag of stuff.
As for RSS.....
See>http://msdn.microsoft.com/aboutmsdn/r
>> Edited by dilbert on Thursday 3rd November 15:13
Easy, I'll explain this to you.
>> Edited by Mon Ami Mate on Friday 4th November 01:01
Mon Ami Mate said:
When not posting rubbish on Pistonheads, I spend my professional time helping companies to communicate more effectively. This is often not an easy job, particularly as many of my customers are in the technology sector and are almost exclusively staffed by a combination of MBA students and technogeeks.
The hardest part of my job is trying to understand what people are trying to say, so that I can communicate to their customers in a way that they might understand. Here comes my point. Why are so many companies insistent on writing complete and utter rubbish? Technology businesses seem to think that if they write exclusively in jargon and MBA-speak that they mysteriously identify themselves as highly professional and having great intelligence. This is nonsense.
I've just won a new client and I'm busy rewriting their website and brochure before embarking on media work. Here's their existing homepage:
(Edited)
>> Edited by Mon Ami Mate on Friday 4th November 01:01
Carrera2 said:
I've always admired x for plain English.
ha ha.. me too, dont ya just love google
another great line...
(edited)
zzzzz...
>> Edited by cheekymonkey on Thursday 3rd November 16:32
>> Edited by Mon Ami Mate on Friday 4th November 00:47
>> Edited by Mon Ami Mate on Friday 4th November 01:03
You're damn right MaM.
When I'm being sold something technical, I want it explained to me in words of one syllable answering the following lines:
What does it do?
How will it increase my sales or reduce my costs?
How will it reduce my commercial risk?
If we've survived so long without one, why do we suddenly need one now?
How much does it cost?
What other products are out there?
When I'm being sold something technical, I want it explained to me in words of one syllable answering the following lines:
What does it do?
How will it increase my sales or reduce my costs?
How will it reduce my commercial risk?
If we've survived so long without one, why do we suddenly need one now?
How much does it cost?
What other products are out there?
.srebbe64 said:
When I'm being sold something technical, I want it explained to me in words of one syllable answering the following lines:
1) What does it do?
2) How will it increase my sales or reduce my costs?
3) How will it reduce my commercial risk?
4) If we've survived so long without one, why do we suddenly need one now?
5) How much does it cost?
6) What other products are out there?
I have just stuck that lot into a copy of Word for later use, sir. Really succinct summation of what you need to know. But there is just no way anyone is going to answer question (6) for you - you'll have to have one of your people find that out!
I'll be checking our website to ensure it answers the five questions quickly enough for a researcher not to get bored...
I'm thinking of
Don said:
When I'm being sold something technical, I want it explained to me in words of one syllable answering the following lines:
1) What does it do?
2) How will it increase my sales or reduce my costs?
3) How will it reduce my commercial risk?
4) If we've survived so long without one, why do we suddenly need one now?
5) How much does it cost?
6) What other products are out there?
I have just stuck that lot into a copy of Word for later use, sir. Really succinct summation of what you need to know. But there is just no way anyone is going to answer question (6) for you - you'll have to have one of your people find that out!
I'll be checking our website to ensure it answers the five questions quickly enough for a researcher not to get bored...
I'm thinking of
... not finishing this post?
Don said:
When I'm being sold something technical, I want it explained to me in words of one syllable answering the following lines:
1) What does it do?
2) How will it increase my sales or reduce my costs?
3) How will it reduce my commercial risk?
4) If we've survived so long without one, why do we suddenly need one now?
5) How much does it cost?
6) What other products are out there?
I have just stuck that lot into a copy of Word for later use, sir. Really succinct summation of what you need to know. But there is just no way anyone is going to answer question (6) for you - you'll have to have one of your people find that out!
I'll be checking our website to ensure it answers the five questions quickly enough for a researcher not to get bored...
I'm thinking of
Regarding point 6, what happens is one of my people gets the presentation from the rep (or reps) and then they present their proposal to me if they feel it's something worth going for. So my boys will need to know the answers to the questions. Clearly the rep is not going to be recomending competitors or other solutions. Obviously, even if we decide to buy a certain product we'll always get other quotes to knock the price down. Or at the very least, keep them honest!
Don said:
When I'm being sold something technical, I want it explained to me in words of one syllable answering the following lines:
1) What does it do?
2) How will it increase my sales or reduce my costs?
3) How will it reduce my commercial risk?
4) If we've survived so long without one, why do we suddenly need one now?
5) How much does it cost?
6) What other products are out there?
I have just stuck that lot into a copy of Word for later use, sir. Really succinct summation of what you need to know.
I've done the same. Nice summary.
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