Be careful where you invest your energies
Discussion
Ive just about had enough of the 'adult oriented' clients who keep approaching me. Almost every single one takes the piss in one way or another, or ends up cancelling projects before they are finished deciding they dont need a website afterall. Or finds they cant afford to pay for the work they commissioned us to do. Or decides on a different 'business' strategy shortly after development begins 
The latest girl gave us her goverment disability allowance to spend on an adult web site, and after 3 full days of work spread over a number of weeks, called to say she would offer us not a penny more than £100 for our efforts, but wanted ALL of her deposit back claiming she couldnt afford a website and needed to buy a wheelchair instead, and in the same conversation admitted she had found a web designer who would develop THREE ecommerce websites for £50 a month (no setup or design/development costs) and tried to claim the work we had done for her was unsuitable, threatening court action if I didnt refund her money, despite the fact that I have emails from her saying "Fantastic, yes the design is perfect, very pleased, well done! etc"
She sent us black and white photos of a naked woman to go on the website. And later confessed the photos were of her own mother (who is probably turning in her grave) whose memory she is trying to honour. Where, pray tell, do these cretins spawn from? Ive acquired enough crazy client stories in the last year (which has been a trip!) to produce a feature length documentary.
The latest girl gave us her goverment disability allowance to spend on an adult web site, and after 3 full days of work spread over a number of weeks, called to say she would offer us not a penny more than £100 for our efforts, but wanted ALL of her deposit back claiming she couldnt afford a website and needed to buy a wheelchair instead, and in the same conversation admitted she had found a web designer who would develop THREE ecommerce websites for £50 a month (no setup or design/development costs) and tried to claim the work we had done for her was unsuitable, threatening court action if I didnt refund her money, despite the fact that I have emails from her saying "Fantastic, yes the design is perfect, very pleased, well done! etc"
She sent us black and white photos of a naked woman to go on the website. And later confessed the photos were of her own mother (who is probably turning in her grave) whose memory she is trying to honour. Where, pray tell, do these cretins spawn from? Ive acquired enough crazy client stories in the last year (which has been a trip!) to produce a feature length documentary.
puggit said:She did pay up front
Don't create adult sites unless they pay upfront?
But being a nice guy, I'll give her (most of) her money back covering my costs. Not one to hold someone over a barrel, with a bit of negotiation these things are (usually) easily tidied up. Podie said:Course you do
Blimey...
Really wondering if I want to have that chat with you now
seriously though, mail me your number via my profile and I'll give you a call today
yhmroadsweeper said:Agreed. I told her that if things went to court, naturally I would defend myself, and she would without a doubt loose the case. But the wheelchair was for her daughter I believe. And I have far more money than she does, and decided to give her a refund and just get on with business as usual leaving her to get on with her own life/money problems, with fingers crossed (after one hell of a year!) that all these colourful characters are behind me!
UKBob, given that you're in the right here, I would have considered refunding her money as a gesture of goodwill, right up to the point where she started threatening legal action.
Pot Bellied Fool said:
We want to hear some of the stories please
But how on earth did you pick up so many clients in that 'industry' sector? Or did your advertising revolve around cards in phoneboxes and ads in the back of the Sunday Sport?
As most people in the IT community will tell you, "that sort" of industry is quite close knit... get one, you've got the lot... piss one off and you've got the wrath of them all to deal with..
We operate at the more, er, 'conventional' end of the web market but we have had the occasional enquiry from people wanting adult websites and they have been, without exception, nutters, and mostly skint nutters at that - all no doubt looking to make an easy fortune by putting up a website with a few smutty pictures on it
Pot Bellied Fool said:There is a paper in the South East called the friday-ad. Its a free ads rag. But its cheap to advertise in, but I get pleny of small and local business from the paper, and pick up some good corporate contracts each year too!
We want to hear some of the stories please
But how on earth did you pick up so many clients in that 'industry' sector? Or did your advertising revolve around cards in phoneboxes and ads in the back of the Sunday Sport?
Stories? Hmmmm... Long post warning!
I had one escort client who actually said she fell in love with me over the phone! Admitedly, we did have many long/interesting chats (all over the phone I hasten to add! She was very nice, but naturally I didnt want to get involved as she was an escort.
She asked me to take her site down shortly after it was finished
saying she used the site as an excuse to get to know me 
half a dozen (female) clients a year tell me they love listening to my voice on the phone 
but no one has gone quite so far as to claim to have bought a website for that reason. Seems a bit silly if you ask me. 
I only once ever went round to an escorts house, and took a mate for backup incase I took a wrong turn and ended up alone, cornered, facing someone with a whip and ball-gag We sold the pimpdaddy bossman a website. It was at that house, that I met the girl mentioned above, who gave me her number saying she was interested in a website. It got even more interesting! I had another meeting with the pimpdaddy which was held at a hotel. He brought his friend, who apparently was sleeping with the escorts. The pimpdaddys friend turned out to be a local man who knew my girlfriends family
and everyone in the village, including everyone at the local church! Anyway, in the middle of the meeting in the hotel, 50 guests suddenly arrive, many of whom recognize him, and they come up to our table, clap him on the back saying hi, and ask what kind of business he is doing these days 
Apparently, it was the annual party for the company he used to work for as regional sales director! Memory is hazy as it was a long time ago, but im sure one of the pimpdaddys other girls, around the same time as the project mentioned above, hinted over the phone once that she could pay me in kind. Also a total waste of time.
Had a chap ring up for a website redesign - he held bukake's (several blokes gather round for a circle jerk, and spunk into a womans face
). Very grapic!! We foolishly agreed to start work on his website believing the cheque was in the post. It never came, time ticked on, and we never got paid. Had another escort ring me up last year (attractive businesslike lady, she sent plenty of pics, most of them nude) and I sold her a website. We were just about to start design when she asked me to sleep with her. I politely said thanks but no thanks, and she cancelled her cheque deposit and I never heard from her again.
Had a scantily clad model from the states email me, she worked with some famous celebs, but was still a student. We started a design, she loved it, then changed her mind as she didnt have as much time for modelling or the money for the website.
Had another chap ring up (he owns a castle, well known landmark!) and did a bit of PR work for him. He invited me repeatedly to bring my girlfriend round to one of his orgies. Thanking him kindly, again I declined (but said I wouldnt mind a tour of the property during the day time). Ended up falling out, when I refused to do new work for a pittance.
Had some nasty nutters come round to give me a minor beating/scare last year - long story, although the problem was not my fault nor had anything to do with me(!) yet I had agreed to sort it for them for free (which I did). Yet they drove for hours to come down to dish out their venom. Got a crime reference number, was about to take photos of the red marks they left on my chest where they hit me but was running late for a meeting so legged it and decided not to get the bib involved.
Another girl rang up wanting a website, and... photography! I posted on PH and a fellow PHer agreed to go round to her place and take some nude photos of her. I could have done it myself but didnt really want to get involved, told her we could sort a website out over the phone, but she pissed me around and the website never started.
Another english chap, older fellow, comissioned us to design 12 websites. He set up a company in South Africa, paying poor black women a pittance to sit in a booth and strip on camera for punters with credit cards who would pay to watch
I gave him an absolutely CRACKING deal, lowest ever prices, based on a 12-website arrangement. It all fell appart when I wouldnt budge on a VERY small matter of money, which speaks volumes of the calibre of the client. Another girl rang up not too long ago, also wanting a website, and ended up offering me a spanking in exchange for my IT services. In an ideal world, Id be able to walk into my favourite designer clothes shop, pick out some clothes I liked, and give the girl behind the till a good spanking in exchange for the merchandise. I said no.
Im sure there are more amusing stories (if you find them amusing) but thats about all my overworked brain can remember right now. 90% of my clients are the decent sort, and thats how I like it. Easy. Uncomplicated. Business.
What I enjoy most about being in web development, is finding out how other peoples businesses work. Being able to have a tour of a factory, printshop, workshop etc after a meeting is interesting. but when it comes to the adult industry, LITERALLY 90% of them are as you descibed!
judas said:Nail, hammer, head.
people wanting adult websites and they have been, without exception, nutters, and mostly skint nutters at that
piss off JonRB said:
around the same time as the project mentioned above, hinted over the phone once that she could pay me in kind. 
I'm sure you could employ Vixpy to be your tea boy
Gassing Station | Business | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff