This time next week...
This time next week...
Author
Discussion

srebbe64

Original Poster:

13,021 posts

260 months

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
quotequote all
...I'll be having a PAYE audit by those blood sucking leaches known as the Inland Revenue.

What's the most effective way of making them as unwelcome as possible? ALL suggestions will be considered!

Eric Mc

124,827 posts

288 months

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
quotequote all
I find "killing them with kindness" can often work.

Also, duct tape your employee's mouths as they can land you in hot water sometimes.

srebbe64

Original Poster:

13,021 posts

260 months

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
quotequote all
Eric Mc said:
I find "killing them with kindness" can often work.

Well that ain't gonna happen!

BliarOut

72,863 posts

262 months

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
quotequote all
Heating turned off and no tea or coffee for them, it's a Benefit In Kind after all

Eric Mc

124,827 posts

288 months

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
quotequote all
I've never seen any great advantage in annoying Tax Inpspectors. After all, they have the "power" and the ability to weild it if necessary.

srebbe64

Original Poster:

13,021 posts

260 months

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
quotequote all
We're not talking logic here - we're talking "emotion".

greenie

1,850 posts

264 months

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
quotequote all
You seem to get more than your fair share of these-perhaps the horrible approach doesn't work.

I've only had one and I took the "oh thanks I didn't realise that-how helpful you are" approach. It seemed to work as they didn't spend much time with us and let me off a couple of things as long as I promised to do it right next time.

I would suggest to be very polite but not overly forecoming with information unless asked specifically. Mind you if treating them like animals for a few days floats your boat then why not but maybe your energies would be better spent elsewhere. Rise above it I say.

srebbe64

Original Poster:

13,021 posts

260 months

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
quotequote all
This is just the second one in 10 years - I ain't complaining. We were due one back in Movember but this got delayed (until next week) by the revenue!

greenie

1,850 posts

264 months

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
quotequote all
Ahh that makes more sense. 2 in 10 sounds good. Obviously you weren't too bad to them last time-must try harder. I guess they get used to getting treated like crap.

Hope you had a good year in 2006.

Having implemented some of your suggestions they started to come good in the last quarter of 2006 and it was a very good year all in all. Got to start again now and do it all again in 2007 (plus 25%!)

Fidgits

17,202 posts

252 months

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
quotequote all
Would strategically placed mousetraps in important files and folders not be the most amusing form of entertainment?

plasticpig

12,932 posts

248 months

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
quotequote all
Unless you are absolutley sure you have got everything spot on I wouldnt go down that route. The inspectors have some descretion about the level of fines.

If you really want to go down this route get all your relevant records and mix all the years up in a big heap and spread excrement all over them. Then let it dry out a bit and put in a black bag and have a piss in the bag. When they ask to see a record for something present them with the bag. As long as the records are in a legible state they cannot do anything about it.



viggen114

259 posts

276 months

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
quotequote all
From the Times 2nd Jan 07

"Tax inspectors are being offered bonuses to encourage them to collect more money from individuals and businesses, The Times has learnt.
In a move akin to the wage boosts given to traffic wardens who issue the most penalties, the bonuses paid out by HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC) are worth up to £2,000 for inspectors who meet their targets."

"It is perfectly right and proper for HMRC to recover monies that they are due. However, if this bonus system means a correlation between tax collected and bonuses paid, resulting in overzealous and unreasonable inquiries, then taxpayers should be extremely concerned."

article here

Of the investigations I have had, PAYE, VAT and IR35, I have used a 'this is how I operate, is it correct' stance and found them to be very helpful.

srebbe64

Original Poster:

13,021 posts

260 months

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
quotequote all
greenie said:
Ahh that makes more sense. 2 in 10 sounds good. Obviously you weren't too bad to them last time-must try harder. I guess they get used to getting treated like crap.

Hope you had a good year in 2006.

Having implemented some of your suggestions they started to come good in the last quarter of 2006 and it was a very good year all in all. Got to start again now and do it all again in 2007 (plus 25%!)

Pleased tp hear it Adrian. Someone actually listened to me - blimey that's got to be a first!!! We'll have to have lunch again sometime.


Business is storming for me at the moment - last year was a record year and this year could, conceivably, be as much as double last year's (in profit terms).

greenie

1,850 posts

264 months

Wednesday 3rd January 2007
quotequote all
Figured I would be stupid not to listen to you! You were like a managment consultant. Took information I already had and told me what I should be doing. The only difference was you didn't want £2000.00 per day to implement the plan!

I will get last years figures finalised and then get in touch to arrange another lunch.

Glad to hear you are still ticking over nicely. Was it mainly commission fees or turnarounds last year?

srebbe64

Original Poster:

13,021 posts

260 months

Monday 8th January 2007
quotequote all
Well that was painless. The BSL's arrived, were made to feel unwelcome, found diddly-squat and have gone. Apparently they're tasked with finding £60k per week (£12 per day) so they're £12k down and I'm £12k up on the deal - that's the way I see it.