PH Xmas Quiz

Too much free time this Yuletide? This should keep you busy...

By SimonSaid / Thursday, 24 December 2009 / Loading comments

Turkey totalled, port swilled, crackers cracked and presents presented, its just possible that you may find yourself at a loose end this Christmas (er, non-denominational holiday period). But Father PH has got you covered. For the true petrol head (and serial one-upman), we present the first PH Christmas Quiz.

You know that introductory bit at the start of your car's owner's handbook? That bit where they gently compliment you on your excellent car choice, spiffing hair-do and wish you the best of luck for the future? Below you'll find 20 different examples of these introductory gems from the handbooks of a variety of cars, of a broad variety of ages. But just to bamboozle you, we've blanked out the names of the manufacturers and cars they're boasting about.

At the end you'll see an alphabetised list of all the cars featured, and all you've got to do is match up each description with a car. Simple(s). The handbook extracts are in randomised order, and the pictures next to them are not for the right car - so there really is no cheat or trick here, you'll just have to apply some PHer nouse and figure it out for yourselves.

There are no prizes, since we reckon with Yuletide and whatnot you've already be showered with gifts and have no need for any meagre token we could dish out - so it's just for fun.

Answers are posted in the first reply to the thread below - and peeking is cheating!

Thanks to PHer williamp for the idea and many of the extracts below.

Good luck!

Owners Manual Intros

1) Our company and staff congratulate you on the purchase of your new****.Your selection of our product is a demonstration of your trust in our company name.Furthermore, it exemplifies your desire to own an automobile that will be as easy aspossible to operate and provide years of service. Your ******* represents the efforts of many skilled engineers and craftsmen.*
2) Congratulations on your purchase of a *****. Welcome to the *****family. The ****** has been designed for the discerning driver, and aims to providefun motoring from a lightweight, distinctively styled and efficient package.
3) Dear Owner, We would like to thank you for your purchase of a ********* sports car. Judging by thecar you have chosen, you are a motorist of a special breed, and you are probably nonovice when it comes to automobiles.
4) Congratulations, and thank you for choosing a ********. Thorough familiaritywith your vehicle will provide you with enhanced control and security when you drive it.We therefore have this request: Please take the time to read this Owner's Manual and familiarize yourself with theinformation that we have compiled for you before starting off in your new vehicle. Itcontains important data and instructions intended to assist you in gaining maximum useand satisfaction from your ********* unique range of technical features.*
5) We very much hope that this handbook, together with the other publicationsincluded in the literature pack, will provide the information you need in order to derivemaximum pleasure from owning and driving your new car.
6) The ****** car is designed to combine sustained and high-speed driving withrapid acceleration and positive control. New owners are advised, therefore, that theresponse of the car to the controls calls for decisive handling. It is respectfully suggestedthat the car be driven with extra care until the owner has become thoroughly attuned toits high lever of performance. When the response of the car has been measured, it willsoon be proved that the car behaves impeccably and safety throughout its speed range.
7) For the design of this car I’ve taken advantage of my personal experience as arace driver and as a racing car builder. Therefore, I trust I have realized the dream of allthose who, like me, wish to have the opportunity of driving both on the highways anddowntown...a powerful engine that never lets you down, efficient brakes and, last but notleast, highly functioning and aerodynamically effective styling. With your ********* purchase, a dialogue begins between you and others who are keenon automobiles.*
8) We are delighted that you have chosen this limited-production, high-performance, ****** car, and we hope it will provide you with a great deal of fast, butsafe motoring.* Although some existing **** parts have been used in the design, the general conceptand layout is a no-compromise solution to the needs of drivers in this highly sophisticatedclass of motoring. In particular, the *** is the first ever *** car to be sold with amid mounted engine, and a 2 seater coupe body style with four wheel drive.*
9) Your vehicle represents an intelligent synthesis of advanced technology,outstanding safety, environmental Compatibility and economy. It now lies with you todrive your vehicle safely and to see it performs perfectly. This Owner's Manual providesyou with all the necessary information to that end. Make sure your passengers are awareof the possible risk of accident and injury which may result from improper use of thevehicle.
10) Congratulations! Your selection of a * was a wise investment. It will give youyears of driving pleasure. Now that you are the owner of a ***** vehicle, you’llprobably be asked a lot of questions about your vehicle and the company like:* “What is a ***?”, “Who is ***?”, “What does **** mean?”.*
11) Thank you for choosing ***** and welcome to our growing family. Yourchoice was a wise one; ***** products are a great value that will give you years ofdriving pleasure. This Owner’s Manual was prepared to help you have a safe, enjoyable,and trouble-free experience with your ****.
12) Welcome to the world-wide family of ** owners. We trust that you will enjoymany years of safe driving in your **, an automobile designed with your safety andcomfort in mind.
13) Red hot, but so mightily cool. The new **** moves you, even when it’sstanding still. With strong, well-defined lines and a clear distinctive character, the new ***** conveys a real sense of strength, resilience, integrity and purpose that’s impossibleto match. Already, drivers love it.
14) Dear Customer, Thank you for purchasing your ***. We trust that you will enjoy it. The car has beendesigned and built to be safe, very rewarding to drive and have a long life.We assumethat new customers of **** have previously owned high performance cars and areinterested in driving, considering themselves to be good drivers. We feel, however that afew words of caution are necessary.
15) We would like to express our thanks to you for buying the **** *. The ** * is a vehicle which has been constructed on the basis of ****'s widetechnical experience. We feel sure that you will be fully satisfied with the vehicle. ThisMANUAL contains detailed information with regard to handling procedure and inspections,both daily and periodic. Having read this MANUAL carefully, you will be able to handle thevehicle in the correct manor and obtain many years of satisfaction from it.
16) Congratulations on receiving your new ** *, a quality product vaguelyimitated by some but still a world leader in the luxury * market. The manufacturer, ** **, achieves high standards in the design and production of the vehicle to ensurereliability and efficiency in operation. These standards can be contnued throughout the operational life of the * *** byproper maintenance and care. The first important step in preventetive maintenance, thepre-deliverty inspection of your vehicle, will have been completed by your Dealer.* Now its up to you. Use your Dealer and use this book to help you ensure a long andefficient operating life for this highly mobile aristocrat.
17) The *** ********* is designed and built to high standards if precision andquality. Every car when it leaves the works has been thoroughly tested and adjusted byexperts.* In order that the car may give the utmost satisfaction, it should receive adequate careand attention, as outlined in these instructions. In compiling this handbook, someknowledge of the operation and care of a motor car has been pre-supposed. Alldescriptions of position are relative to the driver's seat.
18) This handbook forms part of the Owner literature supplied with your new vehicle.Left-hand drive and right-hand drive conditions may be shown in the graphics and whereinformation is specific to a particular country it is indicated as such. Please take time tostudy the operating instructions with your vehicle as soon as you can.
19) To ensure longer life for your vehicle and also for your safety *****advisesyou to adhere systematically to these basic points.
20) Thank you for choosing a ***. To help ensure the enjoyable and trouble-freeoperation ofyour new *, we urge you to read this manual carefully and followitsrecommendations. When service is necessary, remember that your authorised ***dealer knows your vehicle best and is ready to help you with all maintenanceand serviceneeds. We assure you of our continuing interest in your motoringpleasure and completesatisfaction.

Alphabetised list of cars:

Aston Martin DBS V8
BMW M5
Citroen GSA
De Tomaso Pantera
Ford RS200
Jaguar XFR
Jensen Interceptor
Kia Magentis
Lotus Elise
Mazda MX5
Mercedes Actros (truck)
Mercedes S class
Porsche 968
Range Rover
Rover 75
Suzuki Grand Vitara
Suzuki SC100 'Whizz Kid'
TVR Cerbera
Vauxhall Vectra
Volvo 940

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1) Our company and staff congratulate you on the purchase of your new****.Your selection of our product is a demonstration of your trust in our company name.Furthermore, it exemplifies your desire to own an automobile that will be as easy aspossible to operate and provide years of service. Your ******* represents the efforts of many skilled engineers and craftsmen.*
2) Congratulations on your purchase of a *****. Welcome to the *****family. The ****** has been designed for the discerning driver, and aims to providefun motoring from a lightweight, distinctively styled and efficient package.
3) Dear Owner, We would like to thank you for your purchase of a ********* sports car. Judging by thecar you have chosen, you are a motorist of a special breed, and you are probably nonovice when it comes to automobiles.
4) Congratulations, and thank you for choosing a ********. Thorough familiaritywith your vehicle will provide you with enhanced control and security when you drive it.We therefore have this request: Please take the time to read this Owner's Manual and familiarize yourself with theinformation that we have compiled for you before starting off in your new vehicle. Itcontains important data and instructions intended to assist you in gaining maximum useand satisfaction from your ********* unique range of technical features.*
5) We very much hope that this handbook, together with the other publicationsincluded in the literature pack, will provide the information you need in order to derivemaximum pleasure from owning and driving your new car.
6) The ****** car is designed to combine sustained and high-speed driving withrapid acceleration and positive control. New owners are advised, therefore, that theresponse of the car to the controls calls for decisive handling. It is respectfully suggestedthat the car be driven with extra care until the owner has become thoroughly attuned toits high lever of performance. When the response of the car has been measured, it willsoon be proved that the car behaves impeccably and safety throughout its speed range.
7) For the design of this car I’ve taken advantage of my personal experience as arace driver and as a racing car builder. Therefore, I trust I have realized the dream of allthose who, like me, wish to have the opportunity of driving both on the highways anddowntown...a powerful engine that never lets you down, efficient brakes and, last but notleast, highly functioning and aerodynamically effective styling. With your ********* purchase, a dialogue begins between you and others who are keenon automobiles.*
8) We are delighted that you have chosen this limited-production, high-performance, ****** car, and we hope it will provide you with a great deal of fast, butsafe motoring.* Although some existing **** parts have been used in the design, the general conceptand layout is a no-compromise solution to the needs of drivers in this highly sophisticatedclass of motoring. In particular, the *** is the first ever *** car to be sold with amid mounted engine, and a 2 seater coupe body style with four wheel drive.*
9) Your vehicle represents an intelligent synthesis of advanced technology,outstanding safety, environmental Compatibility and economy. It now lies with you todrive your vehicle safely and to see it performs perfectly. This Owner's Manual providesyou with all the necessary information to that end. Make sure your passengers are awareof the possible risk of accident and injury which may result from improper use of thevehicle.
10) Congratulations! Your selection of a * was a wise investment. It will give youyears of driving pleasure. Now that you are the owner of a ***** vehicle, you’llprobably be asked a lot of questions about your vehicle and the company like:* “What is a ***?”, “Who is ***?”, “What does **** mean?”.*
11) Thank you for choosing ***** and welcome to our growing family. Yourchoice was a wise one; ***** products are a great value that will give you years ofdriving pleasure. This Owner’s Manual was prepared to help you have a safe, enjoyable,and trouble-free experience with your ****.
12) Welcome to the world-wide family of ** owners. We trust that you will enjoymany years of safe driving in your **, an automobile designed with your safety andcomfort in mind.
13) Red hot, but so mightily cool. The new **** moves you, even when it’sstanding still. With strong, well-defined lines and a clear distinctive character, the new ***** conveys a real sense of strength, resilience, integrity and purpose that’s impossibleto match. Already, drivers love it.
14) Dear Customer, Thank you for purchasing your ***. We trust that you will enjoy it. The car has beendesigned and built to be safe, very rewarding to drive and have a long life.We assumethat new customers of **** have previously owned high performance cars and areinterested in driving, considering themselves to be good drivers. We feel, however that afew words of caution are necessary.
15) We would like to express our thanks to you for buying the **** *. The ** * is a vehicle which has been constructed on the basis of ****'s widetechnical experience. We feel sure that you will be fully satisfied with the vehicle. ThisMANUAL contains detailed information with regard to handling procedure and inspections,both daily and periodic. Having read this MANUAL carefully, you will be able to handle thevehicle in the correct manor and obtain many years of satisfaction from it.
16) Congratulations on receiving your new ** *, a quality product vaguelyimitated by some but still a world leader in the luxury * market. The manufacturer, ** **, achieves high standards in the design and production of the vehicle to ensurereliability and efficiency in operation. These standards can be contnued throughout the operational life of the * *** byproper maintenance and care. The first important step in preventetive maintenance, thepre-deliverty inspection of your vehicle, will have been completed by your Dealer.* Now its up to you. Use your Dealer and use this book to help you ensure a long andefficient operating life for this highly mobile aristocrat.
17) The *** ********* is designed and built to high standards if precision andquality. Every car when it leaves the works has been thoroughly tested and adjusted byexperts.* In order that the car may give the utmost satisfaction, it should receive adequate careand attention, as outlined in these instructions. In compiling this handbook, someknowledge of the operation and care of a motor car has been pre-supposed. Alldescriptions of position are relative to the driver's seat.
18) This handbook forms part of the Owner literature supplied with your new vehicle.Left-hand drive and right-hand drive conditions may be shown in the graphics and whereinformation is specific to a particular country it is indicated as such. Please take time tostudy the operating instructions with your vehicle as soon as you can.
19) To ensure longer life for your vehicle and also for your safety *****advisesyou to adhere systematically to these basic points.
20) Thank you for choosing a ***. To help ensure the enjoyable and trouble-freeoperation ofyour new *, we urge you to read this manual carefully and followitsrecommendations. When service is necessary, remember that your authorised ***dealer knows your vehicle best and is ready to help you with all maintenanceand serviceneeds. We assure you of our continuing interest in your motoringpleasure and completesatisfaction.