Remember when folk used to badge-engineer their cars to make them look like they were sportier than they actually were? When fuel injection became a thing you could hardly move in Halfords or other similar 'tuning shops' for aftermarket GTI badges and double-sided sticky tape. Older PHers than Shed, if such people still exist, will hopefully be able to regale us with their own contemporary tales of faux tuning, but today we've got a dose of this in reverse with this week's shed, a Jaguar X-Type Sport estate.
Yes, we know it's another X-Type, so expect the usual slew of Brexiteer jokes in the forum, but when it comes to shining a light on decent cars when they become available Shed is apolitical. X-Type estates are certainly potentially decent, especially at the prices they go for. Besides, this is the first X-Type of 2023 so haud yer wheesht as they say in Scot Land.
The vendor reckons this one is the 2.1 V6, which would make it a front-driver, but even on Shed's crud-encrusted Amstrad screen he can see 2.5 and AWD badges on the tailgate. Previous owners surely won't have gone to the bother of sticking those badges on to the back of a 2.1 (which Shed thinks didn’t have any boot badges at all apart from X-TYPE) simply to impress the neighbours, so we're going to go with this one having the bigger AJ25 V6 engine and all-wheel drive. In other words, decent power (nearly 200hp) in a sporty all-wheel drive estate. Just like an Audi RS4 really apart from a few minor areas which we'll let you come up with yourself once you've stopped laughing.
The forum will doubtless also point out, quite rightly, that the 231hp 3.0 AJ30 V6 is the X-Type engine of choice. It delivered more torque and a six-second 0-60 time with hardly any fuel penalty (27.5mpg combined versus 29.5 in the 2.5), but you're very unlikely to find a road-legal 3.0 X in the £1,500-or-less pond in which Shed sluggishly swims.
The 87k mileage on our shed is low for a 2005 car but it’s properly backed up by the MOT history. One of the advisories on last May’s test was for a non-excessive oil leak, but testers have been patiently pointing that out for the last 11 years/46,000 miles so it’s obviously pretty un-excessive. Other than that it’s just been the usual consumables –worn brakes and tyres, faded cushions on the back seat, that sort of thing. The gearknob is slightly tatty but the bolstered half-leather Sport seats are in very good nick.
The main killer of these cars is rust, principally in the sill zone, a proud tradition established in other Jaguar models such as the XJ and S-Type. Corrosion could speckle your window surrounds too. Door seals and boot locks went missing and ABS rings cracked. The V6 motor had a chain not a belt, which was a good thing, but the oil capacity of the AWD transfer box wasn’t great so you did need to watch your levels. X-Type driver’s seats eventually started rocking on their mountings but owners have come up with nifty fixes for this which you will find on the various enthusiasts’ sites.
Just returning to that faux-tuning thing fro a minute, it's not quite comparable but Shed remembers seeing Triumph TR3s in the early 1960s with 'Disc Brakes' stickers on the back as a warning to any drum-braked thickoes driving too closely behind. Later on we had reverse-written 'OBRUT' windscreen stickers that were meant to warn dawdlers ahead that they were holding you up even if in reality you were already pushing the very edge of the performance envelope of your 57hp pushrod A-Series Marina 1.3. These windscreen stickers inspired Shed to come up with his own version, 'DROAB NO DEHS SRM' as a warning to locals ahead that he might not be able to stop as quickly as them. Mrs Shed thought it was some weird Hindu proverb from Shed's old ashram days, so ignored it until she caught sight of it in her makeup mirror. Needless to say that earned him a healthy KCAMS upside the DAEH and taught him a useful NOSSEL.
Makes you wonder about the DVD player that comes with this Jag though. How do you see what's behind you when your brood is watching Spiderman? Is that a ticketable offence? Reverse-written answers on a postcard, please.
Oh, nearly forgot, we’re thinking of upping Shed’s limit to £1,750, based on the Bank of England calculator’s pronouncement that £1,500 in 2020 is worth £1,750 today. Rebadging SOTW from a 1500 to a 1750, you might say. Well, it worked for Austin with their Maxi. OK, it didn’t, but feel free to comment below anyway.
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