As Shed sees for himself every time he turns over in the morning, there is no shortage of big old buses in this world.
Many bargey delights and the benefit of LPG
Sadly, there is an annoying disconnect between the notion of buying a cheap luxury motor and the hard reality of actually running one. The dream of waft becomes the nightmare of a lovely car quietly oxidising outside one's gaff, its de luxe interior softly illuminated by a permanently-lit fuel warning light, its electrified door mirror now nothing more than the silent refuge of a sodding great spider.
Well, here's a barge that may at least partially defuse that looming threat of total fiscal meltdown: an LPG-converted 740 BMW.
Before we get to the ins and outs of LPG, let's look at the car in isolation. The good stuff is it's in Calypso Red, surely one of the best big BM colours. The hide is black, a nice change from the more common beige. Vendor says everything works bar the air-con.
Less good stuff, specific to this car, is that it needs a couple of rear tyres. The non-functioning analogue telly is certainly not an issue - have you seen what's on these days? Besides, by way of compensation you'll be able to give all your old Conway Twitty cassette tapes another well-deserved airing.
Calypsorot and Style 32 alloys a stylish combo
General E38 quirks to watch out for: plastic radiators that crack near the top hose connection; splitting coolant expansion bottles; worn-out viscous-clutch cooling fans; burst hoses between the accumulator and the heating system; wobbly seat bases; failed door actuators and PCV (positive crankcase ventilation) valves; and the famous 'E38 shimmy', a wobble that you may feel through the steering at moderate A-road/motorway speeds. You'll hope it's just a thrown wheel weight, but in the heavily front-loaded Seven the chances are it's steering wear. There's a lot of online knowledge on this so it needn't be a major headache.
Pre-'97 cars like this one shouldn't suffer from the ABS/DSC faults that afflicted later Sevens, and our Shed has the 4.4 M62 V8 rather than the previous E32 model's 4.0 litre M60 with the feared Nikasil cylinder blocks. Check though that no spark plug holes are full of oil from a leaking rocker cover.
Now, about that LPG. You'll do less miles per gallon than you would with 'petril': 30mpg typically becomes 25mpg on LPG, a 20 per cent increase in fluid consumption. But LPG is a lot more than 20 per cent cheaper than petrol. The average going rate for a litro at the moment is 68p. For petrol, today's UK average price is £1.28.
The LPG driving experience is remarkably similar to the regular one. Most LPG cars generally start up on petrol, as it's easier to ignite, before switching automatically to gas, and back to petrol when the gas is gone. Some LPG-converted cars need to have a bit of liquid lead squirted in to protect the valves but Shed seems to think that this stricture doesn't apply to superior Cherman machinery.
As a paid-up member of the PH massive, you may have heard other, boring people discussing something called 'emissions'. If you're interested in this sort of thing, tests on modern LPG-fuelled fleet cars indicate a 14 per cent reduction in 'well-to-wheel' CO2 emissions compared to petrol, and a 10 per cent reduction compared to diesel. Of course, Shed takes no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of the information in the preceding paragraph, or indeed anything ever.
Ideally, you should get the LPG system checked over every year or so, but that's not a fortune, a hundred quid or so. It's a fair exchange for not having had to fork out the two grand installation cost.
Time for you to scratch the V8 itch?
As the vendor says, this car's not perfect. If it was, you'd be paying a lot more. Air-con regas? Many air-con problems in old cars are caused by a leak in the system rather than through natural wastage that can conveniently be fixed by a top up, but in the case of the E38 a regas will often work.
Who cares whether it does or it doesn't though, at this price? After all, air-con is only one kind of cool. There's another kind of cool, arguably the best kind, and this handsome BMW boulevardier delivers plenty of that.
I bought this car back in July to scratch that V8 itch. It's a wonderful luxurious old thing and comically fast for something weighing in at 2 tonnes. Rear leg room is enormous and great for being chauffeured around in, especially with the electrically adjustable front seats. It's got lots of toys and some are still fairly decent even for this day and age.
I've had far too many cars in such a short space of time due to wanting to find the right type of car for me. Every time I've gone out in a car I will always have found an excuse to drive this. Unfortunately, this car has to go due to having another car on the way.
Bodywork wise, it's not the best, but it is a 17 year old car with almost 170k on it. It has scratches here and there, a dent in the rear left corner. But as you can see in the pictures these aren't immediately noticeable until you take a closer look. Mechanically however the car will start and run fine. All of the electronics work as they should. The leather on the seats are all in good shape with no tears or holes anywhere. The previous owner fitted an AUX cable to the radio enabling you to plug an mp3 player/phone into it.
The car is located 10 minutes from junction 12 of the M4.
Vital Statistics
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MOT until 17th November 2014
Tax will need to be done by the new owner under the new laws
Mileage 168,000
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Specification
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4.4L V8
286 bhp
Metallic 'Calypsorot' Red
Black full Nappa leather
M Sport 3 spoke Multifunction steering wheel
Electric front seats with memory adjustment
Self dimming rear view mirror
Full original toolkit and first aid kit
18" Style 32 alloys (could do with a refurb)
6 CD changer
TV (sadly not much use without a Digital adapter now analogue channels are no longer being transmitted)
On board trip computer
Cruise control
Auto speed wipers
Front and Rear Fogs
Cabin heating timer (For those cold winter months)
Sun roof (Fully working)
5 speed auto with manual sports mode
Front and rear parking sensors
All pixels working on the dashboard!
Lpg system with 40+litre tank in the spare wheel well so cavernous boot remains untouched. System is a BRC multipoint which is one of the best money can buy.
Car achieves a realistic 30mpg on a run which equates to over 60mpg for the equivalent cost of petrol
Bad stuff
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Making out that the car is perfect doesn't help anyone, so I'm not pretending it is.
Air con needs a regas
You may see this as bad or good (remember I bought this car for the V8) the previous owner had the backboxes removed to exaggerate the engine note, however I still have these so can be passed to the new owner if you wish. The car is loud on the initial startup but quietens down once in gear and even quieter on LPG. No drone when cruising either.
The car doesn't have the service book, but has various receipts and invoices for bits and bobs from over the years.
The car has never missed a beat over the 4+months I've owned it.
It will need 2 new rear tyres and the fronts have several months of life left in them.
This car is sold as seen, no warranty given or implied. Remember it's £750 (£50k+ new) so don't expect a perfect car and to come along and nitpick, I've described this car to the best of my ability.