Here's a bit of advice: if your friend lives in Tottenham and you live south of Tooting, don't offer to collect them on a roadtrip north. Get them to meet you, or make them take a train half way. Or don't invite them.
Seems obvious really; but being the generous and kind friend that I am, and thinking the journey couldn't be that bad during the day, I set off in the Swift to collect my pal. Exactly two hours later, I arrived. After 120 minutes of soul destroying, blood boiling, how-many-of-these-morons-could-I-kill-with-an-axe traffic, I never wanted to drive in the capital again. I knew it would be bad, but hadn't expected it to be so horrendous. Where do all these people come from?
To be honest with you, much of the journey from London to Hull was a nightmare. There were queues into and out of services, traffic where there really shouldn't have been and a swathe of drivers so slow on the A1 that the lorries being overtaken by other lorries were overtaking cars. And the final destination was Hull. Appropriate that it's a horror film title too...
But the Swift coped admirably well with all this chaos. And Hull is a far better city than you think. In London its diminutive size, good visibility and zippy performance made it great for squeezing into gaps and nipping around. Then on the motorway it was refined enough to enjoy the very best (or worst really, when I was suggesting the songs) that Apple Music could offer, and the seats really came into their own: even after a total of seven hours in them, I remained comfy. I like to sit fairly upright and they support me really well. Given the general busyness of the ride - it's well damped, but reasonably firm and the wheelbase is short too - the Swift's seats really help in keeping you comfortable.
In fact the Swift is so surprisingly competent on a big trip that the two friends I was bringing back from our university city fell fast asleep not long into the journey home. For quite a lot of the journey home. Alright, so they were a little worse for wear, but it goes to show that the Swift is not a buzz, tinny, annoying place to cover motorway miles. Or fall asleep when your friend could really, really do with the company on the drive south.
It has cemented my affection for the Swift after a period without much use, and with its return date looming. The reason for the former, though it will sound absurd, is simply that I've had to drive other stuff. Broadly talented though the little Suzuki is, it wouldn't have fared brilliant in a super saloons test. Or in one requiring a V8 (that's coming soon). And if you had the choice between an E63 or a Swift Sport to take to Santa Pod, there wouldn't be a lot deliberating on the part of most.
What continues to impress about the Swift when returning from more glamorous cars though is how it covers off the basics so well. In the Mercedes there were so many features that remained unused throughout its time with us, and will probably continue to lay dormant when it reaches an owner. By providing everything that's needed and nothing that isn't though, it feels like the most is being made of the Swift; rather than scratching the surface of what it offers, you're getting a lot from it a lot of the time. For me, that makes it really quite enjoyable.
Speaking of scratching the surface, a nasty graze has emerged above the driver's side rear wheel. I've no idea quite how it's happened, though I suspect the multi-storey car park I now use for work - or more specifically, the other people who frequent the car park - will be to blame. One to get sorted in its last few weeks with us, plus I need to plan a proper goodbye feature too. It deserves a good send off!
FACT SHEET
Car: Suzuki Swift Sport
Run by: Matt
On fleet since: October 2016
Mileage: 6,886 (delivered on 300)
List price new: £14,399
Last month at a glance: Motorway mile munched or city slicker, the Swift's still super!