Don't lynch me: the 200 or so miles covered by the BMW this month were in one day, for a family funeral. Not a funeral directly related to you-know-what but, still, a journey I deemed fairly essential to make. I drove the car on my own to the location, kept my distance from the others in attendance for the duration of the ceremony, then drove home again on my own. I stopped once for petrol and a wee. Just to be really clear, and before there are any wild rumours circulating of 'journalist flouts lockdown in 200-mile BMW thrash' or whatever.
What was learnt? Well, you'll have to excuse a mind not entirely on the vehicle, even if the prospect of some miles on quiet roads (after so long away) was quite appealing. The discoveries were largely the predictable ones: even the smallest BMW now is a surprisingly serene motorway cruiser, the smartphone integration is slick, the driving position is spot on and the as powertrain mellow as required. Oh yes, and even in lockdown you'll still be undertaken by an X5 M on the M11...
The engine and gearbox combo is of course impossible to avoid in any discussion of the F40 M135i; given the corners on this month's solitary journey were roundabouts it'll be mentioned here as well. The car averaged 43mpg on the entire trip with precious little use of Eco Pro (it introduces some coasting) which seems decent given the performance on offer. Moreover, it's interesting to note the initially favourable reception for an ostensibly identical powertrain to the M135i in the new Mini GP. Where perhaps the BMW hasn't been praised - though I think it probably should be - the (admittedly lighter) mad Mini is "willing", with a "fittingly muscular character" and "ballsy momentum" according to those who've already had a go in Germany. It'll be interesting to compare the two in time, despite their differences; on several occasions the M135i sounded quite purposeful - the gargling idle being one of them - but for the most part it seems like the noise is being manipulated too much. Just when we thought BMW had got out of the habit.
As with the previous turbo 1 Series flagship, there are tuning options in the works. Naturally some of those will come from companies familiar in the aftermarket - AC Schnitzer for one - but also from BMW itself, with the M Performance Parts catalogue. Back when there was an M235i on the PH Fleet it was treated to one or two of the goodies, so perhaps this car could benefit from them as well. It could well be that they are just slightly naff, or maybe they are of some use - there's one way to find out...
Because for all its across the board competence, the poor M135i is in desperate need of some outstanding characteristic; perhaps that comes from BMW, perhaps the aftermarket, perhaps just from a bit more time in it. For now the car is a nicely finished device, with extensive technology seamlessly integrated (and still to be explored) as well as performance that's more than ample. But while I crave an end to lockdown and time back behind the wheel, I don't yearn for it to be in the 1 Series just yet - and that's more than a little worrying for a 300hp BMW.
FACT SHEET
Car: 2019 BMW M135i xDrive
Run by: Matt
On fleet since: March 2020
Mileage: 3,293 (delivered on 3,060)
List price new: £36,430 (price as standard; price as tested £43,190 comprised of Melbourne Red paint for £560, Comfort Pack 2 (steering wheel heating, Powered bootlid operation, Comfort Access, Electric front seats and driver memory) for £1,500, Technology Pack 1 (BMW Icon Adaptive LED Headlights, High-beam Assistant, Parking Assistant, Head-up display, Enhanced Bluetooth with wireless charging, Wi-Fi hotspot preparation) for £1,500, Adaptive suspension for £500, Panoramic glass sunroof for £1,000, Sun protection glass for £300, Through-loading system for £150, Lumbar support, driver and front passenger for £150, Driving Assistant for £1,000, Harmon/Kardon loudspeaker system for £750).
Last month at a glance: Left languishing in lockdown
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