TVR Cerbera, 2000, 49k, PH Auction
Conceptually speaking, big-engined performance cars that favour presence and power over handling finesse have never seemed more ‘of the moment’. Sure, they’re m penalised on the taxation front and cost the earth to run, but they make more modern electrified alternatives look (and sound) positively anaemic by comparison. Case in point: a car named after a mythical three-headed dog. TVR had already perfected its vision of a Brit bruiser by the time it got to the Cerbera, though in many ways it came to typify the firm’s approach in its decade-long life cycle. This one, a recommissioned Speed Six in fetching Red Glow Pearl, is already attracting bids; you’ve got till Wednesday to make it yours.
Volkswagen Golf R32, 2003, 129k, £17,900
Of course, you don’t need a sinewy sports car to qualify for bruiser status. VW’s decision to fit the Golf with a narrow-angle V6 was genius from day one, though it really hit its stride with the first R32. Yes, for the timely introduction of its Haldex 4Motion system, but mostly for the noise the 3.2-litre unit made under load and the way the Mk4 looked with model-specific bumpers and side skirts. It also got the first DSG ‘box, though we prefer the idea of the six-speed manual, which this one gets alongside an ‘extensive restoration’ that is said to have made the car like new. Certainly the optimistic asking price reflects that. Still, no other hot hatch bruises quite like it.
Bentley GT Supersports, 2010, 48k, PH Auction
So numerous are cheap Continental GTs in the UK that you could almost consider them a distinct market. There is, after all, nothing that quite measures up to the runaway success of thuggish body, palatial interior and 6.0-litre W12. Needless to say, the grandstanding Supersports turned all this up a notch, its 630hp output making it the most powerful Bentley ever up to that point. The quickest, too, at 3.6-seconds-to-60mph. It’ll even run on E85 biofuel, if you insist. This one hasn’t even hit 50k in 15 years, and appears to have been doted on. Still looks the part; still guaranteed to make you feel like a million pounds sterling. But definitely won’t cost that much. Bidding starts on Wednesday.
Mercedes SLK55 AMG, 2005, 68k, £15,995
It’s perfectly reasonable that, having paid for a car with a thrusting, multi-cylinder petrol engine, you might want to hear it more clearly. On the basis that the SLK55 was basically two seats bolted to the back of a sonorous 5.5-litre V8, it rather takes the biscuit. In its day, the convertible was called out for being portly despite its tiny size, though circa 1,500kg makes it seem svelte by today’s measure. At any rate, with 355hp made the old fashioned way, not even a mediocre automatic will prevent it from seeming fast - or impressively charismatic in time-honoured AMG fashion. You’ll pay a premium for low miles here, and Obsidian Black - easily the best colour.
Vauxhall Monaro, 2005, 42k, PH Auction
Even though the Ford Mustang (another V8-powered colonial) has become a common feature of UK roads, the Monaro still seems outlandish by comparison. Perhaps that has something to do with it being frozen in time, the model being a refugee from the noughties that was discontinued without direct replacement. Or else it’s just the thought of driving an Aussie-built (i.e. rudimentary) rear-drive car with a 5.7-litre LS1 V8 in the nose. The result isn’t nearly as brutal as it sounds - in fact, the vibe is remarkably laid back thanks to the unstressed nature of the engine - and if you can find one without tin worm, it makes for a lovely shaggy dog sort of companion. This one, having covered just 42k, appears to be just the ticket. Don’t hang about though: bidding closes on Wednesday.
Audi RS4 (B7), 2007, 47k, £25,995
On the basis that Audi installed a V10 in the RS6, and followed it up with increasingly powerful turbocharged V8s, you could argue that it is the resident bruiser in the lineup. But the B7 RS4, with its manual gearbox and high-revving 4.2-litre motor is just too lovely to leave out. Not unlike the Monaro, it is softer-edged than you think it might be, making it a wonderful way to get around - though it’s when you uncork the naturally aspirated V8 that the car’s capability for strong-arming a road into submission comes out. Purists tend to favour the wagon, though there is a lot to be said for the saloon - especially when it’s being sold with so few miles on the clock. The vendor claims a full service history, too, which it would need to have to justify the price. Still, a modern classic and no mistake.
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