Let it be known I do not share Jeremy Clarkson's view that, "to be a petrol head, you have to have owned an Alfa Romeo." That's just silly. And not only because of my sour grapes having never owned an Alfa Romeo. A number of them have been utter stinkers over the years (no, I won't name them for fear of offending people who I don't really wish to offend) but we like what we like, and that's that as far as I'm concerned. The idea that were I to own one of the, let's just say, 'less perfect' Alfas, I'd suddenly become a true disciple of Kuwait's finest, but none of my old nails - including a BMW M5 (E39), Mercedes E320 Coupé (W124), Peugeot 405 Mi16 and Daimler Six (Series III) - count for nowt? Nah, come on Jezza, that's balderdash.
Having said that, the 164 is one Alfa I would've loved to have owned. I spent a fair amount of time in them back in the day because my mate had two. They were our group's wheels for several annual driving holidays to Denmark (no, you're quite right, the roads weren't great but the girls were). Both his cars had the 2.0-litre Twin Spark. This was fine motor for a four pot - and an early adopter of two-stage variable valve timing, no less - but it wasn't a patch on the awesome 3.0-litre V6.
That was the holy grail. And if you went for the Cloverleaf instead of the Lusso you got more poke to match those retro, red-top cam covers with swirling Alfa Romeo script and a plenum chamber embossed with V6 24V. If that still wasn't cool enough (and bear in mind, this was about the time most manufacturers started burying their engines under sheets of black plastic) there were those six chromed inlet pipes, which sparkled like jewels and made this engine beautiful. Really beautiful. And it sounded as sweet as it looked, with that delectable six-pot rasp.
The rest of the 164 looked stunning, too. Big cars don't always end up looking sharp and agile, but the 164 did. To my eyes, it looked way more lithe and lovely than the 75 (no offence to any 75 owners; as I keep saying, we like what we like) and it didn't matter that, in silhouette, you could've been looking at a Peugeot 405 or 605. The proportions of all three of those Pininfarina designs still appear to be pretty damn perfect to me - but it was the 164's details that gave it the edge, including the two-tone body panels and superb wheel choice. Inside it was just as striking, with plenty of dials, all backlit in green, and a massed rank of switches that festooned the centre console. They were fascinating to me and left you in no doubt about the decade of this car's birth.
This Super Lusso has a cleaner look than the Cloverleaf but it's still dashing, especially with the flat-faced, 16-hole, diamond-cut alloys that seem to be immaculate. You even get a full-size spare. I also love a tan interior. The fact that the engine has been rebuilt (albeit in 1999) and recently had a cambelt and water pump should assuage some of the concerns that come with running an Alfa. On that note: neither of my mate's 164s broke down. Not once. A few bits dropped off, mind, but they always kept going.
SPECIFICATION | ALFA ROMEO 164 3.0 24v SUPER LUSSO
Engine: 2959cc, V6
Transmission: 5-speed automatic, front-wheel drive
Power (hp): 210
Torque (lb ft): 196@5,000rpm
CO2: N/A
MPG: N/A
Year registered: 1995
Price new: N/A
Yours for: £9,995
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