If you need to see a windsock to know which way the gale is blowing, it’s worth considering the punchiness of VW Up GTI prices. Yes, if you squint a bit and don’t mind high miles, you might find one for under £10k. But most decent examples are hovering around the £11.5k mark - and you can pay up to £15k. The most expensive on PH, late registered and with just 14k on the clock, is up for a fiver short of £17k. Which is bonkers when you consider that it cost from £16,540 when new.
Perhaps we wouldn’t recommend you pay that much for VW’s bright idea - but the GTI’s resistance to cliff-edge depreciation is a reminder of just how good an idea it really was. One the company has ignominiously failed to follow up since it spiked the model back in 2023. Only now, with very small electric cars pending, has the concept again found legs. Nevertheless, try as it might, any future GTI-badged iteration of a battery-powered city car is not going to beat the Up at its own game.
We know this for three reasons. Firstly, the three-door version weighed less than a tonne. Or with you and your mobile phone in it, 1,070kg. No EV is getting near that number. And because it won’t (secondly), you won’t get the boisterous, easygoing handling the GTI specialised in. Oh, an electric car of equivalent proportion will absolutely go around corners well - but not in such a way that will make you want to do it again and again and again like a toddler smashing grapes with a toy hammer.
And that’s because, thirdly, the battery-powered junior GTI will not sound like the Up, which soundtracked every journey with the happy thrum of a three-pot motor at or very near the end of its tether. Or it did whenever someone wearing a PH t-shirt got behind the wheel. Sub 9-seconds-to-62mph was nothing to write home about when the Up was new (even less so now) yet it was made to seem quicker by its driver’s efforts to keep the thing permanently on the boil. Try doing that in an EV.
Its neatest trick - the one that people often overlooked when criticising its lack of genuine talent - was its canny positioning in the sweet spot between outright fun and liveable civility. The same area that all hot hatches target, you might say - but few nail the bullseye like the Up did, and none of those that do were nearly so cheap or small. You can enjoy a B road in one; you can commute somewhere without questioning your life choices; you can even put passengers in the back, if they acquiesce to the idea of folding in half.
A fault-finder would note at this stage that the smallest GTI has defied further price drops only because they are comparatively uncommon. But that’s only because VW did an oddly impressive job of throttling supply when everyone suddenly became intrigued with the idea of buying a brand new, VW-badged hot hatch for less than £14k. This one, in white and with 36k miles behind it, is £11,950. You can have an Audi S6 with a V10 for less, of course. But you will categorically not have more fun.
SPECIFICATION | VOLKSWAGEN UP GTI
Engine: 999cc, three-cyl turbo
Transmission: Six-speed manual, front-wheel drive
Power (hp): 115@5000-5500rpm
Torque (lb ft): 148@2000-3500rpm
MPG: 53
CO2: 121g/km
Year registered: 2019
Recorded mileage: 37k
Price new: £16,540
Yours for: £11,950
1 / 4