the M135i
!' It's already the thing of forum cliche but, rolleyes or not, BMW's astonishing six-cylinder turbo 1 Series is an
impossible car to ignore
. Hot hatches, coupes, sports cars, fast saloons - all must, at some point, face comparison with a car that, on paper, appears the performance bargain of the decade. And when we say 'at some point', that usually means within the first half dozen posts.
These are needed to combat 320hp...
And what's not to love about a classically rear-driven BMW with more than 300hp from a straight-six engine? In this age of downsized powerplants and upsized pricing it's seemingly so out of step as to warrant another General Gassing staple - the 'not sure if serious' Joker meme.
So it's a benchmark by which the relative value of pretty much any car with PH pretensions priced between £20-£40K must be judged. And, going forwards, in the used market. Suffice to say, the 'ah, but what about the M135i!' comparison isn't going to go anywhere in the next decade, new or used.
A car we thought we'd best have some familiarity with then. But one dropping off BMW's immediate press radar as it settles into the hard graft of earning its keep in the showrooms. We just about managed to squeeze a couple of months with one before defleeting and it sounded like the most PH-worthy spec too. Estoril Blue, three-door and manual. Brilliant!
So you're probably wondering why you're looking at a Glacier Silver five-door auto instead. Well, best intentions were there but BMW's press fleet manager went out for lunch and one of his colleagues sold 'our' car while his back was turned. Verdammt!
Looks great on paper; can it match the hype?
eight-speed auto
is rightly praised, even if it begins the inexorable climb from that headline '£30K' pricetag to the order of £1,600, 'our' car inflated by £7,155 and subsequently much closer to £40K. Meaning it's less the
GTI zerstorer
and instead fighting a tougher battle against the likes of the new
Mercedes A45 AMG
Audi S3
RS3
(previous). True, in the game of spec sheet stepping stones the Merc's price starts within a couple of hundred quid of where our BMW's ends and the Audi can't match the M135i's one-two of six-cylinder status and rear-driven delights. So it's hardly humbled. But we'd like to know how many have escaped the dealer having spent much less than £35K. Let's hear it from owners - who's got the cheapest, most basic M135i out there?
Hefty pricetag or not, 'our' 135i looks nicely stealth with its five doors, silver paint and modest 18-inch wheels on non-runflat tyres. Only the size of the brake discs within, and blue calipers clamping them, really hints at the potential and even then you'd need a pretty keen eye to pick it out from a 116d. Inside it's the same, with an interior that has an old-school BMW clarity and simplicity about it and a refreshing lack of buttons and gadgetry. Manually adjustable seats are a refreshing change too - who actually needs slow, heavy and expensive power adjustment? - and it feels pleasingly compact too. Perhaps less of the 'pleasingly' for anyone in the back but from the driver's seat it feels wieldy, low-slung and poised.
It's certainly not a cult hero for its looks...
Even with all the talk the numbers are astonishing and bear repeating. 320hp and 332lb ft to the rear wheels from a turbocharged 3.0-litre six, paired with official 37.7mpg and 175g/km, a limited 155mph vmax and 0-62mph in 4.9 seconds. It's faster and greener than the manual's 35.3mpg, 188g/km and 5.1 seconds too but, either way, if you'd shown those figures to someone 10 years ago they'd have cried witchcraft. Even now it seems scarcely believable but, of course, we'll be able to put those incredible stats - all of them - to the test properly.
So less of the number crunching. Time to get out there and do just that.
FACT SHEET
Car: 2013 BMW M135i (five-door)
Run by: Everyone!
On fleet since: July 2013
Mileage: 8,123
List price new before options: £30,525 OTR (£37,680 as tested inc. £515 for Adaptive M Sport suspension, aluminium trim, complimentary BMW Business Loudspeaker system, £295 for DAB, £360 for Driver Comfort Package comprising cruise and parking sensors, £90 for 'extended storage', £250 for dimming/folding mirrors, full black panel display, high-gloss black finish, £95 for 'internet', £200 for driver/passenger lumbar support, £1,995 for BMW Professional Multimedia, £515 for metallic paint, £235 for front/rear Park Distance Control, £265 for seat heating, £1,600 for Sport auto transmission, £290 for Sun Protection Package, £450 for Visibility Package inc. adaptive xenon lights)
Last month at a glance: Just delivered!
