If you’ve spent any time frequenting less interesting car websites, you may well know that a refreshed Vauxhall Astra is inbound. This is good news for anyone in the market for a worthy and affordable hatchback. Less so for anyone interested in driving for its own sake. There are rumours, of course, of a new electrified GSE variant in the fullness of time, one meant to stave off the Chinese competitors with the kind of ‘emotional appeal’ they find it difficult to replicate.
Without wishing to preempt its best intentions, we’re inclined to think that this would be like fighting off a marauding grizzly bear with a wet box of tissues. Vauxhall hasn’t made a proper hot hatch in a decade. It has stuck so doggedly to a rational, value-led strategy since then that most people would associate it with performance in the same way they associate a Wetherspoons pub with fine dining. Merely tweaking the formula ain’t going to do it.
What’s needed is a brick through the conservatory window. Which is pretty much what the Lotus Carlton was. Take one humdrum saloon, effectively throw that away, and return to market with a four-door, rear-drive monster powered by a 3.6-litre turbocharged straight-six that could outrun a Ferrari 348. Even in an era when no amount of doors or boot space is an impediment to straight-line speed, there is something very special about the Imperial Green Carlton that could.
Three reasons for that. One, there was the scale of the output: 380-odd horsepower is a lively amount now, but in 1990 it seemed preposterous. Two, somehow it looked - and still looks - like the sills and intake and spoiler were integral to the original design, not bolted on later. Which is to say it looks brilliant. Three, it was gold thread spun from the lowliest pig iron. People in general, and the British in particular, love an underdog story. Even if we’re oddly suspicious of anything world-class.
This means its Vauxhall-ness is very much baked into the mix, though it’s worth recalling (for the umpteenth time) that the manufacturer regularly pulled this club from its bag. Not just in motorsport terms, but also in its fearlessness in launching stuff that was very left of centre - the VX220 and Monaro and VXR8 and Maloo and everything else beside that proved, if nothing else, that the people behind the short-sleeve shirt and tie exterior had blood running through their veins. Along with a sense of humour.
Now, having put aside performance cars for so long, Vauxhall has done away with decades of goodwill. Not to mention the muscle memory that comes with unforgettable product or the partnerships that get you there. This one is said to be the third-to-last Lotus Carlton ever produced - though more importantly, it’s had a recent bare metal respray and mechanical refresh after nearly two decades in a private collection. With 85k already on the clock, it’s £40k cheaper than the fully restored, low-mile example we spotted last year. Or about the same as an entry-level, rear-drive Porsche Taycan. Or three Astras. We know where our £90k would be headed.
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