New S-Class - hit or miss?

The definitive Merc megabarge is back with an all-new version, ready to Assist in every way possible

The new Mercedes S-Class is a big car. A big car physically, a big car in status terms, a big car as far as technology goes and, perhaps most significantly, a big car emotionally for Mercedes. Much as Porsche is defined by the 911, Mercedes has the S-Class as the model in which all its brand values are embodied. "Rather than being about safety or aesthetics, power or efficiency, comfort or dynamism, our aspirations were 'the best or nothing' in every respect," says extravagantly 'tached Merc boss Dieter Zetsche. "No other car stands for the Mercedes-Benz brand promise more than the S-Class." And, as such, it's a weather vane for the company's standing, confidence and identity. So an all-new one is a significant event.

LEDs in and out, dimming brake lights included

So big is the S-Class, it's taken Mercedes 32,753 words to describe it in the press release issued with the official pictures of the car, which was revealed to much pomp and circumstance yesterday. Reading that lot is why we've taken so long to bring the story to the PH homepage. Honest. And the short version? There's a lot of 'Assist' going on and even a bit of 'Magic' from time to time.

Explaining all the technology would, frankly, take ... about 32,753 words. So let's pick a few highlights, like LED brake lights that dim so as not to dazzle at night, suspension that uses cameras to read the road to set the dampers up accordingly, cameras to read road signs and gizmos to steer, brake, and control the headlights for you. Meanwhile Magic Body Control transforms you into a world class gymnast, Magic Vision Control lets you look into the future and one of the six seat massage settings now includes Happy Ending Assist. Some of which is actually true.

Much more opulent than outgoing car

Away from the cabin and under the bonnet the new S-Class all red-blooded PHers will be interested in is the V8, twin-turbo S500 which has 455hp (20hp more than the last one) from a 4.7-litre engine. This'll hit 62mph in 4.8 seconds and cater for all your Autobahn blitzing needs, those more interested in wafting with an eye to the environment/prevailing legislation (delete according to cynicism) able to choose a V6 petrol or four-cylinder diesel hybrid. A regular Bluetec S350 diesel is also available. Interestingly - especially in keeping with our recent discussion about the influence of emerging markets like China - Mercedes says it developed the long-wheelbase as the primary model, the shorter one a development of this rather than the other way round.

And the styling? Remarkably after eight years on sale the outgoing W221 S-Class still had a fabulous sense of purpose about it, this new one a little less bold in its styling while maintaining that all-important presence and understated authority. A quick dip into the PH classifieds reveals W221s available from just over £10K to just shy of £100K but the real S-Class bargain of the time is the previous generation W220 (1998-2005). These are knocking on Shed money already, with plenty sub £5K and only a couple into five figures and quite possibly cheaper than choice pickings from the the new car's option sheet, which includes a four-mode (or is it mood) perfume dispenser. Part of the Air Balance package, this wafts four flavours - Freeside Mood, Nightlife Mood, Downtown Mood or Sports Mood - into the cabin according to your whim.

If you really want the full goss on the new S-Class you can see the manufacturer website here but, to conclude, it's bigger, safer, greener and more high tech than ever. And even smells nicer.

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TomTVR500

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