Match.com (Volume 5)
Discussion
kVA said:
Speak for yourself buddy... There's one here that has had that opportunity more often than most - a life on the road for ten years, with an unhappy relationship at home, in hotels where my partner didn't even know (or care) which town I was in... Got propositioned loads of times by women leading the same life, met in the hotel bar, never once even considered it: Not because I was worried about being found out, but just because it was WRONG... Period...
What are the odds that your Mrs wasn't as faithful in that time do you reckon?Disco You said:
What are the odds that your Mrs wasn't as faithful in that time do you reckon?
I would absolutely 100% guarantee that she was faithful - I wouldn't have stayed with her for 20 years if I had ever once even had an inkling that she wasn'tI think a lot of macho crap is spoken here, in the lounge, such that men feel they are not real men unless they've broken a few rules of society, but in my opinion, being unfaithful is the lowest thing you can possibly do to someone that trusted you enough to enter a relationship with you... As I said above, fix it or finish it, if you find yourself tempted.
(And in case anyone is wondering, that isn't the reason she is an 'ex' )
Disco You said:
kVA said:
Speak for yourself buddy... There's one here that has had that opportunity more often than most - a life on the road for ten years, with an unhappy relationship at home, in hotels where my partner didn't even know (or care) which town I was in... Got propositioned loads of times by women leading the same life, met in the hotel bar, never once even considered it: Not because I was worried about being found out, but just because it was WRONG... Period...
What are the odds that your Mrs wasn't as faithful in that time do you reckon?
I've never been unfaithful, and never would be.
It's wrong, and I have morals.
I also can't see the point; if I'm not happy I say so, then I leave.
I met my wife on Match 8 years ago, and been married for 4. We are very happy indeed!
I think it is a great way to meet new people and if it blossoms into love and marriage it is exactly the same as meeting in a bar or party. If a person has an agenda it is just going to be the same wherever you meet.
I think it is a great way to meet new people and if it blossoms into love and marriage it is exactly the same as meeting in a bar or party. If a person has an agenda it is just going to be the same wherever you meet.
kVA said:
CharlesdeGaulle said:
Now that's where I think you're wrong MC.
Everyone will always jump at the chance of the un-detectable f
k. Fact.
Not just one, but everyone.
Speak for yourself buddy... There's one here that has had that opportunity more often than most - a life on the road for ten years, with an unhappy relationship at home, in hotels where my partner didn't even know (or care) which town I was in... Got propositioned loads of times by women leading the same life, met in the hotel bar, never once even considered it: Not because I was worried about being found out, but just because it was WRONG... Period...Everyone will always jump at the chance of the un-detectable f
k. Fact. Not just one, but everyone.
A friends husband however, did jump at such an opportunity. And is now leaving his wife (ie. my friend). General opinion is that the guy is a complete and utter tosser.
I do think it has changed in the last 2 years, though...
I met my last girlfriend on Match (and POF, as it happens), we exchanged 2 messages and then spent almost a whole DAY on the phone, before meeting the next evening... We had an absolutely awesome relationship for about a year - both deleted all our POF and Match accounts (or so we thought, but that's another story) and I can honestly say I never even looked at another woman in that way, the whole time we were together...
Sadly, we have both gone through such extreme personal upset and trauma, since we met, that it has caused numerous separations, much regretted verbal abuse between us and, as we're both pretty stubborn people, it's almost certainly irreversible... However, if it were not for circumstances that have nothing to do with Internet dating, we would be together now - and quite probably for the rest of our lives.
So, somewhat reluctantly, I rejoined POF and Match and for the first time, OKC... I have hardly changed my profile (in fact it was all still there on Match and POF, without me knowing - so that's how they boast so many members). I don't send many messages, but when I do, they are only to people I have a really good feeling about and they are carefully thought through to show that I've read the profile, etc... In 2010, almost every message I sent got a polite reply... Now, NONE do!!! I sent 30 consecutive messages (over a period of about 2 months) to people on Match and I didn't get one single reply, yet every one (bar 2, I think) clearly read my message and viewed my profile! I'm sorry, but that is just fking rude, and I don't care how many dodgy emails they get, if they've looked at my profile, they will see quite clearly that I am open and genuine.
My point is, that the number of people on there that are now 'window shopping' has multiplied massively, and the very very few genuine ones have become so suspicious and cynical that they're almost setting themselves up to fail, before they even start (self included)....
However, never mind my sample of one, how about this for an admission that Internet dating is broken...
I met my last girlfriend on Match (and POF, as it happens), we exchanged 2 messages and then spent almost a whole DAY on the phone, before meeting the next evening... We had an absolutely awesome relationship for about a year - both deleted all our POF and Match accounts (or so we thought, but that's another story) and I can honestly say I never even looked at another woman in that way, the whole time we were together...
Sadly, we have both gone through such extreme personal upset and trauma, since we met, that it has caused numerous separations, much regretted verbal abuse between us and, as we're both pretty stubborn people, it's almost certainly irreversible... However, if it were not for circumstances that have nothing to do with Internet dating, we would be together now - and quite probably for the rest of our lives.
So, somewhat reluctantly, I rejoined POF and Match and for the first time, OKC... I have hardly changed my profile (in fact it was all still there on Match and POF, without me knowing - so that's how they boast so many members). I don't send many messages, but when I do, they are only to people I have a really good feeling about and they are carefully thought through to show that I've read the profile, etc... In 2010, almost every message I sent got a polite reply... Now, NONE do!!! I sent 30 consecutive messages (over a period of about 2 months) to people on Match and I didn't get one single reply, yet every one (bar 2, I think) clearly read my message and viewed my profile! I'm sorry, but that is just f
king rude, and I don't care how many dodgy emails they get, if they've looked at my profile, they will see quite clearly that I am open and genuine.My point is, that the number of people on there that are now 'window shopping' has multiplied massively, and the very very few genuine ones have become so suspicious and cynical that they're almost setting themselves up to fail, before they even start (self included)....
However, never mind my sample of one, how about this for an admission that Internet dating is broken...
Markus - Founder of POF said:
My name is Markus and I created POF/Plentyoffish. When I created POF, I wanted it to be all about finding relationships with the right person. For the first 7 years this worked really well, I got the site to 10 million users without any employees people and POF was generating a ton of relationships. Around 3 years ago, everyone started using the website via mobile phones. Today about 70% of POF use is via a mobile phone and unfortunately about 2% of men started to use POF as more of a hookup site mostly due the the casual nature of cell phone use.
In sticking with my vision that POF is all about Relationships, I'm going to make a bunch of changes to ensure it stays a relationship-focused site.
1. Any first contact between users that contains sexual references will not be sent. Anyone who tries to get around this rule will be deleted without warning. This rule has actually been in effect since last month and it's made the site so much better.
2. You can only contact people +/- 14 years of your age. There is no reason for a 50 year old man to contact a 18 year old women. The majority of messages sent outside those age ranges are all about hookups. Anyone who tries to get around this rule will get deleted.
3. Intimate Encounters will go away in the next few months. There are 3.3 Million people who use the site every day, of those there are only 6,041 single women looking for Intimate Encounters. Of those 6,041 women, the ones with hot pictures are mostly men pretending to be women. Intimate Encounters on POF can be summed up as a bunch of horny men talking to a bunch of horny men pretending to be women.
In short the vast majority of people will not be impacted. This is because the vast majority of people are not going around spamming women saying "let's have sex tonight". I can't change POF alone, I need your help to get the word out there that POF is all about relationships!
Markus
Somehow think he might have underestimated the numbers abusing the site (and of course cannot possibly account for window shoppers), but fair play to him for a) accepting that something isn't right, and b) having the balls to potentially lose custom to fix it In sticking with my vision that POF is all about Relationships, I'm going to make a bunch of changes to ensure it stays a relationship-focused site.
1. Any first contact between users that contains sexual references will not be sent. Anyone who tries to get around this rule will be deleted without warning. This rule has actually been in effect since last month and it's made the site so much better.
2. You can only contact people +/- 14 years of your age. There is no reason for a 50 year old man to contact a 18 year old women. The majority of messages sent outside those age ranges are all about hookups. Anyone who tries to get around this rule will get deleted.
3. Intimate Encounters will go away in the next few months. There are 3.3 Million people who use the site every day, of those there are only 6,041 single women looking for Intimate Encounters. Of those 6,041 women, the ones with hot pictures are mostly men pretending to be women. Intimate Encounters on POF can be summed up as a bunch of horny men talking to a bunch of horny men pretending to be women.
In short the vast majority of people will not be impacted. This is because the vast majority of people are not going around spamming women saying "let's have sex tonight". I can't change POF alone, I need your help to get the word out there that POF is all about relationships!
Markus
Mr Happy said:
That is actually a really good change.
Hopefully the morons who send pictures of their knobs etc will be filtered out, and the regular people will stand more of a chance of getting their messages through.
I can't believe how may women put about that in their profiles. They must get bombarded with the stuff. F*cking weirdos!!Hopefully the morons who send pictures of their knobs etc will be filtered out, and the regular people will stand more of a chance of getting their messages through.
Its probably nice for them to get someone down to earth chatting to them from time to time.
Waynester said:
Without wading through thousands of posts, how many success stories are there on here?
I will go first, I met my partner on Match.com 2 years 3 months ago - still going strong, and seriously thinking of popping the question..
Another here, just over 4 and a bit years together now, we got hitched 5 weeks ago I will go first, I met my partner on Match.com 2 years 3 months ago - still going strong, and seriously thinking of popping the question..
8bit said:
Waynester said:
Without wading through thousands of posts, how many success stories are there on here?
I will go first, I met my partner on Match.com 2 years 3 months ago - still going strong, and seriously thinking of popping the question..
Another here, just over 4 and a bit years together now, we got hitched 5 weeks ago I will go first, I met my partner on Match.com 2 years 3 months ago - still going strong, and seriously thinking of popping the question..
Waynester said:
Without wading through thousands of posts, how many success stories are there on here?
I will go first, I met my partner on Match.com 2 years 3 months ago - still going strong, and seriously thinking of popping the question..
I'm never getting married again, but I'm very happy with my OK-Cupidee. It's been almost a year and we get on famously.I will go first, I met my partner on Match.com 2 years 3 months ago - still going strong, and seriously thinking of popping the question..
He's exactly the sort of person I'd have chosen 'in real life' had our paths ever crossed.
Mobile Chicane said:
... He's exactly the sort of person I'd have chosen 'in real life' had our paths ever crossed.
I've never met you, and have no idea what you look like, but you are clearly bright and intelligent, so what curtailed 'real life' hook-ups? Happy to be told to F off for being impertinent.
But, if I may, you sound better than that. If you know what I mean?
I'm having a crack at online dating right now, as in a remote area its handy to be able to meet new people.
It has massively desensitized me and made me far too picky. On the flip side it's greatly improved my confidence.
You really have to wonder sometimes what people think when they write a profile or upload a picture. Your profile is essentially an advert and some women spend it writing what they hate about men and what they wont accept, not what they like and what they are like.
Plenty of good people on there, plenty of fking nutcases too and an abnormal amount of single mothers.
It has massively desensitized me and made me far too picky. On the flip side it's greatly improved my confidence.
You really have to wonder sometimes what people think when they write a profile or upload a picture. Your profile is essentially an advert and some women spend it writing what they hate about men and what they wont accept, not what they like and what they are like.
Plenty of good people on there, plenty of f
king nutcases too and an abnormal amount of single mothers. CharlesdeGaulle said:
Mobile Chicane said:
... He's exactly the sort of person I'd have chosen 'in real life' had our paths ever crossed.
I've never met you, and have no idea what you look like, but you are clearly bright and intelligent, so what curtailed 'real life' hook-ups? Happy to be told to F off for being impertinent.
But, if I may, you sound better than that. If you know what I mean?
However, if it helps to explain things, my part of Surrey is a 'dating dead zone'. The only single men are over 80.
Hence the need to cast the net wider. But in so doing, I've found someone who I really connect with.
Mobile Chicane said:
No, I don't know what you mean
However, if it helps to explain things, my part of Surrey is a 'dating dead zone'. The only single men are over 80.
Hence the need to cast the net wider. But in so doing, I've found someone who I really connect with.
Hmmm, I'm in Surrey. However, if it helps to explain things, my part of Surrey is a 'dating dead zone'. The only single men are over 80.
Hence the need to cast the net wider. But in so doing, I've found someone who I really connect with.
But then she said: 'But in so doing, I've found someone who I really connect with'. s
t. Too late.Mobile Chicane said:
No, I don't know what you mean
However, if it helps to explain things, my part of Surrey is a 'dating dead zone'. The only single men are over 80.
Hence the need to cast the net wider. But in so doing, I've found someone who I really connect with.
I'm in Surrey also and have never had a problem meeting men.However, if it helps to explain things, my part of Surrey is a 'dating dead zone'. The only single men are over 80.
Hence the need to cast the net wider. But in so doing, I've found someone who I really connect with.
CdG, do you find it a problem meeting women either?
I've often looked at online websites but never doen more than a few minutes browsing and certianly never messaged anyone, but to me you cannot beat meeting a person F2F initially to see if there is any spark. Unfortunately for me, I meet people but so far have lacked any sparks
OK, potentially another success story here - after writing on here and reading others' posts I have just got back with my POF/Match date of almost 3 years ago... LOL
Decided to take my own advice and do what's necessary to make it work, as the grass didn't seem that green on the other side of the fence, after all
Not the first time we've split and made up, but it feels more 'right' this time and I'm a lucky boy that she had me back
Decided to take my own advice and do what's necessary to make it work, as the grass didn't seem that green on the other side of the fence, after all
Not the first time we've split and made up, but it feels more 'right' this time and I'm a lucky boy that she had me back
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