Partner's kids
Discussion
madazrx7 said:
hmm... starting to wonder whether I am being impatient, and my mates are wrong... I do think she feels pressured, although I keep telling her it isn't her fault. (Although I do think she is being too lenient with him) and of course if he gets wind that we are arguing about it (he may already) then he will do it all the more (yes he is a pathetic uselss prick)
Mate, Im in agreement with Sheets.Youve taken on a family, you gotta live like a family. Those in successful marriages dont get to boot the kids out every two weeks.
Ive just had the same thing and it used to infuriate me when the Mrs would say "I work full time and I only get a break from her for two nights in 14 (referring to her daughter!". I would say "Well if he hadnt left you, you wouldnt get any breaks ever, would you?!"
And then get accused of being argumental. But I digress...
Youve pretty well got to decide whether you should give up reliably going out to the stuff you used to, or tell the Mrs youre not ready to take on young children.
And I can totally see your point. If yours is grown up and independent now, allowing you to enjoy the things you can now afford and have time for, why set yourself up for another x-years of being at the mercy of the needs of young children?
I dont envy your position. Especially if she doesnt particularly see it as a problem. To that end, Ive resolved to stay away from single mums from now on.
dmulally said:
All really good advice. But dont lose sight of the facts people.
51/35
51/35
Prolly shouldn't have mentioned that... I've dated women closer to my age (and their kids are usually grown up and gone...) but not many still want to do the playing in/listening to pub bands that is important to me. A lot of my mates of my age have become old men TBH... (except for the musos
)Reardy Mister said:
Mate, Im in agreement with Sheets.
Youve taken on a family, you gotta live like a family. Those in successful marriages dont get to boot the kids out every two weeks.
Ive just had the same thing and it used to infuriate me when the Mrs would say "I work full time and I only get a break from her for two nights in 14 (referring to her daughter!". I would say "Well if he hadnt left you, you wouldnt get any breaks ever, would you?!"
And then get accused of being argumental. But I digress...
Youve pretty well got to decide whether you should give up reliably going out to the stuff you used to, or tell the Mrs youre not ready to take on young children.
And I can totally see your point. If yours is grown up and independent now, allowing you to enjoy the things you can now afford and have time for, why set yourself up for another x-years of being at the mercy of the needs of young children?
I dont envy your position. Especially if she doesnt particularly see it as a problem. To that end, Ive resolved to stay away from single mums from now on.
Your new name still confuses me PB...Youve taken on a family, you gotta live like a family. Those in successful marriages dont get to boot the kids out every two weeks.
Ive just had the same thing and it used to infuriate me when the Mrs would say "I work full time and I only get a break from her for two nights in 14 (referring to her daughter!". I would say "Well if he hadnt left you, you wouldnt get any breaks ever, would you?!"
And then get accused of being argumental. But I digress...
Youve pretty well got to decide whether you should give up reliably going out to the stuff you used to, or tell the Mrs youre not ready to take on young children.
And I can totally see your point. If yours is grown up and independent now, allowing you to enjoy the things you can now afford and have time for, why set yourself up for another x-years of being at the mercy of the needs of young children?
I dont envy your position. Especially if she doesnt particularly see it as a problem. To that end, Ive resolved to stay away from single mums from now on.
I guess I never considered that the fortnightly thing wouldn't happen. My previous long term partner had a 15YO and his Dad would take him whenever he could, (I'm not automatically at odds with my partners' ex, he and I got on well, he did the right thing, we still keep in touch) I guess I have always seen splits from the male's POV (ie myself and my mates) who try hard to get their kids for at least some of the time, it is usually the ex wife who makes this hard... I still make the mistake of expecting people to do the right thing (naive I guess)
My own married experience may be unusual too; we both had our own parents living nearby, who were happy to look after our kids as often as possible if we were going out. I guess I also used to do more things on my own without the wife whereas now I want to be doing them with K (you know who K is you can see her on my FB)
Added to this is the fact that before they moved in here we were spending weekends together alone and doing all those things.
I've let it slide for now, he isn't having them this weekend again so we'll be doing some stuff with them. We're booked in for a PSB breakfast ride on Sunday morning but the boys will prolly still be asleep when we get home
We're also going to the Hotrod show n Sat arvo, hoping that at least the 2 younger ones will come with us. The 14 YO has just announced he is going to a music festival on Sunday.I'm assuming he will have them next weekend as it is Fathers' Day...
OP, in fairness I can see where you are coming from - I thought most dads would be desperate to see their kids as much as possible so you could reasonably expect him to collect them each weekend so you'd have "time alone".
However, it looks like you are where you are. There are other options to have the kids looked after now and again.
However, it looks like you are where you are. There are other options to have the kids looked after now and again.
hmm. Time for an update? I'm bored s
tless nursing a broken leg so I seem to be reviving a few old threads today
Things deteriorated late last year and I sort of gave up.
I continued to struggle having the boys here all the time, along with fairly major differences in our parenting styles.
We split up early this year... K now lives with the 2 younger boys in a unit while the older one is now living with their dad (still in the family home)
K and I have recently started seeing each other again (about 3 weeks) and clearly both want to give us another go, but living seperately.
I'm still living in this ridiculous 5x3 house in Kalamunda on my own, I'm thinking about renting the granny flat out to a mate again as it now appears that for the forseeable future my plans don't include living with my partner...
tless nursing a broken leg so I seem to be reviving a few old threads today Things deteriorated late last year and I sort of gave up.
I continued to struggle having the boys here all the time, along with fairly major differences in our parenting styles.
We split up early this year... K now lives with the 2 younger boys in a unit while the older one is now living with their dad (still in the family home)
K and I have recently started seeing each other again (about 3 weeks) and clearly both want to give us another go, but living seperately.
I'm still living in this ridiculous 5x3 house in Kalamunda on my own, I'm thinking about renting the granny flat out to a mate again as it now appears that for the forseeable future my plans don't include living with my partner...
After dating woman with kids for the last 10 years or so, it has put me off having children Yet! and now im with a girl of 20 that has no kids or even wants any for years, which suits me fine. We can go away weekends, or go out when we like spare of the moment. I can honestly say it has put me of dating milfs.
Edited by MontyC on Tuesday 18th June 08:07
MontyC said:
now im with a girl of 20 that has no kids or even wants any for years,
A newbie mistake, you hate to see it you really do. She says this now and then it's "whoops, I think I am pregnant"The one thing that would put me off a 20-30 year old is that one day they are likely to turn around and want kids.
Oldred_V8S said:
A newbie mistake, you hate to see it you really do. She says this now and then it's "whoops, I think I am pregnant"
The one thing that would put me off a 20-30 year old is that one day they are likely to turn around and want kids.
I know and im not saying I would never like children as to be honest one day I would, but after feeling like I have been a father for the last 10 years to somone elses kids and dont get me wrong had some fantastic times too. But now dating somone without them is like a weight off my mind less worries finding a babysitter trying to keep the kids entertained.The one thing that would put me off a 20-30 year old is that one day they are likely to turn around and want kids.
Oldred_V8S said:
MontyC said:
now im with a girl of 20 that has no kids or even wants any for years,
A newbie mistake, you hate to see it you really do. She says this now and then it's "whoops, I think I am pregnant"The one thing that would put me off a 20-30 year old is that one day they are likely to turn around and want kids.
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