My ex refusing me to see my kids
Discussion
Hi, just hoping someone could advice me how to go about this. I separated from my wife 8 months ago and i havent seen my kid since. I pay over £500 a month on maintainance through the csa. She contacted the csa a day after i moved out and despite me trying to solve maintainace money without csa , she didnt want to know. She has also taken a non molestation order so am not allowed near my house. She accused me of violence and lied all the way to court but the jury saw through her lies and i was acquainted. At the moment i cant afford a lawyer but am also not qualifing for legal aid tho ave applied just waiting. Any advive much appreciated. Thanks
Prepare yourself for a whole world of pain.
If the mother refuses to voluntarily allow you to have a relationship with your children the only course left to try to force her is to make a County Court application. This isn't expensive and you can do it yourself.
She will likely fight it all the way, and even if you do get a Contact Order and she still refuses to comply the Court is unlikely to take any action to force her. The Court does have sanctions that they can impose but I am yet to hear of any using them.
I'm sorry I cannot be more positive, but this is the s
t system that fathers currently have to live with.
(Been 6.5 years since I have seen my sons)
If the mother refuses to voluntarily allow you to have a relationship with your children the only course left to try to force her is to make a County Court application. This isn't expensive and you can do it yourself.
She will likely fight it all the way, and even if you do get a Contact Order and she still refuses to comply the Court is unlikely to take any action to force her. The Court does have sanctions that they can impose but I am yet to hear of any using them.
I'm sorry I cannot be more positive, but this is the s
t system that fathers currently have to live with.(Been 6.5 years since I have seen my sons)
Can you go back and appeal the non-molestation order now she has been proven a liar because of your acquittal?
Problem is that if she truly believes that you are a violent horrible person, it wouldn't be that difficult to convince Social Services and CAFCASS that you ought not to be allowed near your child. So you have to work harder to convince them. You can do it, but it will be difficult, and expensive in money, time and emotion. It's either that, or write the child off, so start preparing yourself.
Problem is that if she truly believes that you are a violent horrible person, it wouldn't be that difficult to convince Social Services and CAFCASS that you ought not to be allowed near your child. So you have to work harder to convince them. You can do it, but it will be difficult, and expensive in money, time and emotion. It's either that, or write the child off, so start preparing yourself.
Similar thing happened to me when I split from my ex. It got very nasty with her refusing me access despite a court order to the contrary.
Took quite a while to get it sorted - her cousin was a solicitor & he eventually got her too see sense. As for the CSA..... Just because you are paying her through them don't expect it to get any easier.
I paid her every week without fail after I left to ensure that the kids were looked after. Paid her by cheque & got signed receipts from her to confirm what had been paid & when.
To begin with we managed to keep the meddling fools from the CSA out of it as we knew the mess they would make of things. Then, for some unknown reason, her own solicitor contacted the CSA on her behalf seeking clarification of what I should paying for the kids. Not necessary though as we had used the CSA's own online calculator to confirm how much I should be paying.
I never missed a payment to her, as my receipts proved. However her solicitor persuaded her total the CSA that I was missing payments, paying her less than should be & that I was refusing to continue paying the mortgage.
All of which was bks because not only was I paying her in excess of £400.00 per month I was also still paying the mortgage of almost £300.00 per month & I kept the kids clothed because she claimed she couldn't afford to clothe them.
She was also working full time so she was thieving £400.00per month from me & she was living mortgage free whilst banning me from setting foot in the house for which I was paying the mortgage!
I supplied the CSA with all the receipts, copy bank statements etc to prove that i had been paying her as agreed - the kids also confirmed this to the CSA but the CSA believed her story that I wasn't paying her so I ended up being ordered to pay her a further £6k to make for what she claimed I had missed in payments to her!!!
bh.
No matter what info I supplied to the CSA her story never changed & I ended up paying her twice. At one stage I was paying her over £800.00 per month & continued to pay the mortgage - she still claimed to be skint......
Dealing with the CSA was the most stressful thing of the split.
As for being banned from seeing the kids - you have my utmost sympathy as I have been there. Its a tough thing to deal with however, hopefully, common sense will prevail & access will get restored.
A good solicitor will be able to deal with that although as I know to my cost they don't come cheap.
Took quite a while to get it sorted - her cousin was a solicitor & he eventually got her too see sense. As for the CSA..... Just because you are paying her through them don't expect it to get any easier.
I paid her every week without fail after I left to ensure that the kids were looked after. Paid her by cheque & got signed receipts from her to confirm what had been paid & when.
To begin with we managed to keep the meddling fools from the CSA out of it as we knew the mess they would make of things. Then, for some unknown reason, her own solicitor contacted the CSA on her behalf seeking clarification of what I should paying for the kids. Not necessary though as we had used the CSA's own online calculator to confirm how much I should be paying.
I never missed a payment to her, as my receipts proved. However her solicitor persuaded her total the CSA that I was missing payments, paying her less than should be & that I was refusing to continue paying the mortgage.
All of which was b
ks because not only was I paying her in excess of £400.00 per month I was also still paying the mortgage of almost £300.00 per month & I kept the kids clothed because she claimed she couldn't afford to clothe them.She was also working full time so she was thieving £400.00per month from me & she was living mortgage free whilst banning me from setting foot in the house for which I was paying the mortgage!
I supplied the CSA with all the receipts, copy bank statements etc to prove that i had been paying her as agreed - the kids also confirmed this to the CSA but the CSA believed her story that I wasn't paying her so I ended up being ordered to pay her a further £6k to make for what she claimed I had missed in payments to her!!!
b
h.No matter what info I supplied to the CSA her story never changed & I ended up paying her twice. At one stage I was paying her over £800.00 per month & continued to pay the mortgage - she still claimed to be skint......
Dealing with the CSA was the most stressful thing of the split.
As for being banned from seeing the kids - you have my utmost sympathy as I have been there. Its a tough thing to deal with however, hopefully, common sense will prevail & access will get restored.
A good solicitor will be able to deal with that although as I know to my cost they don't come cheap.
Speedracer329 said:
EDLT said:
In before the move!
Also, MX5 is the answer.
Yes this will be moved to the appropriate section, but really, you choose to post a no-mark comment on a subject as serious as this?Also, MX5 is the answer.
What a first class t
t you are.A better answer here would be: dont be a tool on PH!
fatboy69 said:
I supplied the CSA with all the receipts, copy bank statements etc to prove that i had been paying her as agreed - the kids also confirmed this to the CSA but the CSA believed her story that I wasn't paying her so I ended up being ordered to pay her a further £6k to make for what she claimed I had missed in payments to her!!!
How in the hell did they come to that decision with all that evidence? 
fatboy69 said:
Similar thing happened to me when I split from my ex. It got very nasty with her refusing me access despite a court order to the contrary.
Took quite a while to get it sorted - her cousin was a solicitor & he eventually got her too see sense. As for the CSA..... Just because you are paying her through them don't expect it to get any easier.
I paid her every week without fail after I left to ensure that the kids were looked after. Paid her by cheque & got signed receipts from her to confirm what had been paid & when.
To begin with we managed to keep the meddling fools from the CSA out of it as we knew the mess they would make of things. Then, for some unknown reason, her own solicitor contacted the CSA on her behalf seeking clarification of what I should paying for the kids. Not necessary though as we had used the CSA's own online calculator to confirm how much I should be paying.
I never missed a payment to her, as my receipts proved. However her solicitor persuaded her total the CSA that I was missing payments, paying her less than should be & that I was refusing to continue paying the mortgage.
All of which was bks because not only was I paying her in excess of £400.00 per month I was also still paying the mortgage of almost £300.00 per month & I kept the kids clothed because she claimed she couldn't afford to clothe them.
She was also working full time so she was thieving £400.00per month from me & she was living mortgage free whilst banning me from setting foot in the house for which I was paying the mortgage!
I supplied the CSA with all the receipts, copy bank statements etc to prove that i had been paying her as agreed - the kids also confirmed this to the CSA but the CSA believed her story that I wasn't paying her so I ended up being ordered to pay her a further £6k to make for what she claimed I had missed in payments to her!!!
bh.
No matter what info I supplied to the CSA her story never changed & I ended up paying her twice. At one stage I was paying her over £800.00 per month & continued to pay the mortgage - she still claimed to be skint......
Dealing with the CSA was the most stressful thing of the split.
As for being banned from seeing the kids - you have my utmost sympathy as I have been there. Its a tough thing to deal with however, hopefully, common sense will prevail & access will get restored.
A good solicitor will be able to deal with that although as I know to my cost they don't come cheap.
That is absolutely shocking. If you provided evidence of all your payments, how can her "word" take precedence?Took quite a while to get it sorted - her cousin was a solicitor & he eventually got her too see sense. As for the CSA..... Just because you are paying her through them don't expect it to get any easier.
I paid her every week without fail after I left to ensure that the kids were looked after. Paid her by cheque & got signed receipts from her to confirm what had been paid & when.
To begin with we managed to keep the meddling fools from the CSA out of it as we knew the mess they would make of things. Then, for some unknown reason, her own solicitor contacted the CSA on her behalf seeking clarification of what I should paying for the kids. Not necessary though as we had used the CSA's own online calculator to confirm how much I should be paying.
I never missed a payment to her, as my receipts proved. However her solicitor persuaded her total the CSA that I was missing payments, paying her less than should be & that I was refusing to continue paying the mortgage.
All of which was b
ks because not only was I paying her in excess of £400.00 per month I was also still paying the mortgage of almost £300.00 per month & I kept the kids clothed because she claimed she couldn't afford to clothe them.She was also working full time so she was thieving £400.00per month from me & she was living mortgage free whilst banning me from setting foot in the house for which I was paying the mortgage!
I supplied the CSA with all the receipts, copy bank statements etc to prove that i had been paying her as agreed - the kids also confirmed this to the CSA but the CSA believed her story that I wasn't paying her so I ended up being ordered to pay her a further £6k to make for what she claimed I had missed in payments to her!!!
b
h.No matter what info I supplied to the CSA her story never changed & I ended up paying her twice. At one stage I was paying her over £800.00 per month & continued to pay the mortgage - she still claimed to be skint......
Dealing with the CSA was the most stressful thing of the split.
As for being banned from seeing the kids - you have my utmost sympathy as I have been there. Its a tough thing to deal with however, hopefully, common sense will prevail & access will get restored.
A good solicitor will be able to deal with that although as I know to my cost they don't come cheap.
The CSA is a f
king joke, but no-ones laughing except people like your ex.And all the way to the bank...
The amount she is getting through the Csa could be less than an agreement between the 2 of you, use the Csa for your own gains, just set up the dd/standing order and your paying the amount that they say. It'll look better for you later. Send cards and letters to the kids, copy them so you have evidence that you sent them, proof of doing it. Be prepare for the kids to hate you through the mental torture she will put them through, my daughter at 13 stood up in court, district judge and cafcas, and read from a letter she had written that she didn't want me as part of her life, her mother refused to give her permission to see me (cafcas stated this in their report). Stay calm and keep records of everything you do, do not meet her alone, do not agree to extra money (Csa is the only amount you have to give). Get you accounts in order and get the solicitor sorted. Be prepared for a long drawn out battle, my daughter was took from me at 4 and poisoned by her mother, aunt and grandmother. I wish you luck, pm me for a chat if you need it mate
PurpleMoonlight said:
Fozziebear said:
my daughter at 13 stood up in court, district judge and cafcas, and read from a letter she had written that she didn't want me as part of her life
That must have been tough for you, even though you knew she had been brainwashed. You have my sympathies.
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