Custody Suite Capers
Discussion
When I was duty Inspector a few days ago, I went into the custody suite to do detention reviews for a couple of "customers." I was stood behind the charge desk, when a regular was brought before the custody sergeant to be charged.
After the charge was read out, the bloke says, "Am I getting bail Sarge? I've not failed to appear for ages etc....."
Custody Sergeant looked totally dead pan said, "Bail?" He then tapped at his keyboard, looked at the bloke and said, still completely dead pan, "Computer says No."
At this point I am struggling to contain my hysterics. It got better, as bloke had clearly never seen Little Britain, and starts ranting, "The computer! I fought you made d' decision... come on Sarge, you know me...... can't I have conditions on me bail? I'll 'ave a curfew and awl dat..."
Sergeant: "You want conditional bail?"
More tapping at the keyboard.
Sergeant: "Computer says No."
At this point the Sergeant, Gaoler Case Oficer and myself all explode laughing, and eventually explain to the bloke he is actually getting conditional bail. I think if I wasn't there the the Sergeat would have given him "Watch Little Britain" as a bail condition!
After the charge was read out, the bloke says, "Am I getting bail Sarge? I've not failed to appear for ages etc....."
Custody Sergeant looked totally dead pan said, "Bail?" He then tapped at his keyboard, looked at the bloke and said, still completely dead pan, "Computer says No."
At this point I am struggling to contain my hysterics. It got better, as bloke had clearly never seen Little Britain, and starts ranting, "The computer! I fought you made d' decision... come on Sarge, you know me...... can't I have conditions on me bail? I'll 'ave a curfew and awl dat..."
Sergeant: "You want conditional bail?"
More tapping at the keyboard.
Sergeant: "Computer says No."
At this point the Sergeant, Gaoler Case Oficer and myself all explode laughing, and eventually explain to the bloke he is actually getting conditional bail. I think if I wasn't there the the Sergeat would have given him "Watch Little Britain" as a bail condition!
nice!
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