Childs surname change question
Discussion
If I were to marry a lady with an 11 yr old child, could I change the child's surname?
Brief background:
Lady divorced 5 years ago with problems and had to take a restraining order out which banned all contact other than letter for 5 years. ( This expires in May ) The father wrote 3 letters then stopped. His last known location is Singapore and has not paid a penny since leaving, 5 years ago.
BA ( his last employer and pension payer ) know but will not say where he is. Even his parents don't know.
As I see it, both parents with responsibility need to agree and sign to change the surname. Is there any way around this as this man cannot be located?
My mother re married when I was 12 back in 1989 I just changed my surname never did anything else.
My passport and driving licence are in my new surname never had a problem.
All my working life I have paid tax in this name my NI number came as my old name I wrote to them when I started working and they simply changed it.
When I made a will the solicitor insisted that I had on there previously known as XXXXX.
I have no idea if it's legal or not but I haven't had any issues.
There was no issue with my proper Father as he couldn't give a toss.
My passport and driving licence are in my new surname never had a problem.
All my working life I have paid tax in this name my NI number came as my old name I wrote to them when I started working and they simply changed it.
When I made a will the solicitor insisted that I had on there previously known as XXXXX.
I have no idea if it's legal or not but I haven't had any issues.
There was no issue with my proper Father as he couldn't give a toss.
Being under 16 complicates matters slightly, as they aren't changing their name themselves- the parent/guardian is doing it for them.
Regarding whether just the mother can with a father of whereabouts unkknown, take a look here (specifically section 6 )
http://www.deedpoll.org.uk/CanIChangeMyChildsName....
They were most helpful when I changed my name, and they definitely know their stuff.
Regarding whether just the mother can with a father of whereabouts unkknown, take a look here (specifically section 6 )
http://www.deedpoll.org.uk/CanIChangeMyChildsName....
They were most helpful when I changed my name, and they definitely know their stuff.
My son recently changed his surname to match mine and my wife's, ( I'm stepfather ).
He did this at aged 15 with the name change to apply from his 16th birthday. No permission was required from the natural father as my son was deemed to be 'of age' to make his own decision.
I know that this doesn't really help you OP but please find the below link of some help.
http://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/divorce-and-s...
The little sod announced his name change on his 16th birthday at a family meal.... Guess how dusty the room was !!
He did this at aged 15 with the name change to apply from his 16th birthday. No permission was required from the natural father as my son was deemed to be 'of age' to make his own decision.
I know that this doesn't really help you OP but please find the below link of some help.
http://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/divorce-and-s...
The little sod announced his name change on his 16th birthday at a family meal.... Guess how dusty the room was !!
The thing is, you actually don't really need to change it legally at that age. He/she can ask to be known by the new surname by friends/family etc., and your wife-to-be can contact their school to ask that they be known by that name as well. (More technically, the SIMS system used by schools has database fields for "Surname" and "Legal Name" which of course are usually the same - the school will change the Surname field and that's the name that will come up on registers and all other school systems). The only legal issues come when the child wishes to open bank accounts and anything else which requires a legal document i.e. birth certificate etc., but not many of those will occur before age 16, and then as mentioned above they can change it legally themselves. (One thing that will happen is that when they are 15 they'll get a NI number and info with their legal surname on, but that easy to fix when they've changed it legally).
I work in schools and I have seen this occur many dozens of times. The only issue comes when the two parents disagree, but if you have had no contact or even know where the father is, they will not appear on the school's family and contact systems anyway, so they will not ask.
I work in schools and I have seen this occur many dozens of times. The only issue comes when the two parents disagree, but if you have had no contact or even know where the father is, they will not appear on the school's family and contact systems anyway, so they will not ask.
Edited by sim72 on Wednesday 7th October 18:52
JABB said:
If I were to marry a lady with an 11 yr old child, could I change the child's surname?
Brief background:
Lady divorced 5 years ago with problems and had to take a restraining order out which banned all contact other than letter for 5 years. ( This expires in May ) The father wrote 3 letters then stopped. His last known location is Singapore and has not paid a penny since leaving, 5 years ago.
BA ( his last employer and pension payer ) know but will not say where he is. Even his parents don't know.
As I see it, both parents with responsibility need to agree and sign to change the surname. Is there any way around this as this man cannot be located?
How does the child feel about it?Brief background:
Lady divorced 5 years ago with problems and had to take a restraining order out which banned all contact other than letter for 5 years. ( This expires in May ) The father wrote 3 letters then stopped. His last known location is Singapore and has not paid a penny since leaving, 5 years ago.
BA ( his last employer and pension payer ) know but will not say where he is. Even his parents don't know.
As I see it, both parents with responsibility need to agree and sign to change the surname. Is there any way around this as this man cannot be located?
Knowing kids of that age I'd give some consideration to any affect it might have on them at school.
WinstonWolf said:
How does the child feel about it?
Yes, this is the most important thing.WinstonWolf said:
Knowing kids of that age I'd give some consideration to any affect it might have on them at school.
In my experience it happens so often it is unlikely to have any effect, especially at secondary school.I have delayed getting remarried until my son is 18 as I didn't want to have a different surname to my son. Changing his wasn't an option as he has a strong relationship with his father and I didn't want to change it and, although I have never asked, I think my son wouldn't want to change it.
Now he is approaching 18 I have decided I would rather spend the money on a new kitchen.
I actually quite like my surname and my new one will be so dull.
Now he is approaching 18 I have decided I would rather spend the money on a new kitchen.
I actually quite like my surname and my new one will be so dull.
Kateg28 said:
I have delayed getting remarried until my son is 18 as I didn't want to have a different surname to my son. Changing his wasn't an option as he has a strong relationship with his father and I didn't want to change it and, although I have never asked, I think my son wouldn't want to change it.
Now he is approaching 18 I have decided I would rather spend the money on a new kitchen.
I actually quite like my surname and my new one will be so dull.
Out of interest, why do you feel the need to take the new name? It isn't mandatory. Now he is approaching 18 I have decided I would rather spend the money on a new kitchen.
I actually quite like my surname and my new one will be so dull.
My wife and daughter (born in marriage) don't carry my surname.
Thanks for the replies.
I guess the easiest route would be to 'adopt' my name for day to day use without having to go to court. Reading on Google, courts have a mixed feeling about changing. We have no idea if the ex will return once the order lapses. I hope he doesn't as that will really stir the emotional pot with the girl, who I love and get on very well with, and also craves a father figure in her life. To me, calling herself Miss JABB along side me and her mum as Mr and Mrs makes a lot more sense.
I guess the easiest route would be to 'adopt' my name for day to day use without having to go to court. Reading on Google, courts have a mixed feeling about changing. We have no idea if the ex will return once the order lapses. I hope he doesn't as that will really stir the emotional pot with the girl, who I love and get on very well with, and also craves a father figure in her life. To me, calling herself Miss JABB along side me and her mum as Mr and Mrs makes a lot more sense.
With my step daughter she changed her surname to mine through her own choice. She did try and get in touch with her dad (and has been trying for at least 18 months) but because he isn't mentioned on her birth cert, there were no hurdles for us to jump through, it was a "normal" deed poll thing.
Vaud said:
Out of interest, why do you feel the need to take the new name? It isn't mandatory.
My wife and daughter (born in marriage) don't carry my surname.
For me it just feels wrong to be married to someone but still carrying my ex husband's surname. If it was my maiden name it wouldn't matter. We live together and our mortgage in joint names but when I make the final commitment I want to wear his name with pride.My wife and daughter (born in marriage) don't carry my surname.
A bit old fashioned and not sure why but it seems to really bother me.
My OH is not bothered particularly by it but knows I want to change it.
Kateg28 said:
For me it just feels wrong to be married to someone but still carrying my ex husband's surname. If it was my maiden name it wouldn't matter. We live together and our mortgage in joint names but when I make the final commitment I want to wear his name with pride.
A bit old fashioned and not sure why but it seems to really bother me.
My OH is not bothered particularly by it but knows I want to change it.
Ahh - understood - makes sense.A bit old fashioned and not sure why but it seems to really bother me.
My OH is not bothered particularly by it but knows I want to change it.
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