Discriminating against my breastfeeding wife
Discussion
Just wondered what people think about this - I've cut and paste a facebook post my wife made a short while ago - the facebook link is below if you are interested.
Basically, my wife was with our 4 month old in Great Yarmouth earlier, the baby starts to cry and needs a feed. She heads into the most convenient place - happens to be a Spud - u - Like and fairly discreetly breastfeeds. The place is virtually empty apart from a couple of customers.
She often does this, whether alone or with me or others. Never had a problem, we will always buy a drink or food, certainly don't expect to just pop into places and use facilities and not buy anything.
However, soon after sitting down in this place the owner approaches her and gives her a hard time/intimidates/bullies her, before asking her to leave.
I know this sort of behaviour is not lawful - a quick google brings up the Equality Act 2010. She was really quite shaken by this experience - hates the thought of him just getting away with this behaviour so posted the experience on Facebook/ Instagram (we don't do Twitter).
Anything else worth doing? Who enforces the Equality Act 2010 anyway (eg.who would you report this to?)? Not particularly inclined to go down that route anyway, but does anyone have experience/knowledge of this?
"I walked into this shop with my baby crying because she was hungry. It was raining outside. I found a seat and started breastfeeding my baby who was soon quiet. The owner walked up to me and said "I cannot just walk into his shop and start breastfeeding. That I wasn't even a customer". I explained that I just wanted to settle my baby then I'd get something. He said " I could have picked any other shop to go to but I chose his and he doesn't want me breastfeeding there". I said my baby was sleeping and I'd soon leave. I have no intention of ever coming back. He said that I should leave right away. I told him he would have to carry me out himself. He said "we will see about that" and went to make phone calls. I found this threatening. After Freya ( my baby) was a sleep, I went left them coffee money and left.
This is how one is treated on mother's day no less..."
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1015658430...
Basically, my wife was with our 4 month old in Great Yarmouth earlier, the baby starts to cry and needs a feed. She heads into the most convenient place - happens to be a Spud - u - Like and fairly discreetly breastfeeds. The place is virtually empty apart from a couple of customers.
She often does this, whether alone or with me or others. Never had a problem, we will always buy a drink or food, certainly don't expect to just pop into places and use facilities and not buy anything.
However, soon after sitting down in this place the owner approaches her and gives her a hard time/intimidates/bullies her, before asking her to leave.
I know this sort of behaviour is not lawful - a quick google brings up the Equality Act 2010. She was really quite shaken by this experience - hates the thought of him just getting away with this behaviour so posted the experience on Facebook/ Instagram (we don't do Twitter).
Anything else worth doing? Who enforces the Equality Act 2010 anyway (eg.who would you report this to?)? Not particularly inclined to go down that route anyway, but does anyone have experience/knowledge of this?
"I walked into this shop with my baby crying because she was hungry. It was raining outside. I found a seat and started breastfeeding my baby who was soon quiet. The owner walked up to me and said "I cannot just walk into his shop and start breastfeeding. That I wasn't even a customer". I explained that I just wanted to settle my baby then I'd get something. He said " I could have picked any other shop to go to but I chose his and he doesn't want me breastfeeding there". I said my baby was sleeping and I'd soon leave. I have no intention of ever coming back. He said that I should leave right away. I told him he would have to carry me out himself. He said "we will see about that" and went to make phone calls. I found this threatening. After Freya ( my baby) was a sleep, I went left them coffee money and left.
This is how one is treated on mother's day no less..."
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1015658430...
You buy something first, then sit down after. Doesn't matter whether you're breast feeding, reading the paper, or writing a novel. Just sitting down is plain rude no matter which way you cut it, and playing the breast-feeding card (on mother's day!!! oh noes!!!!) does your wife no favours at all.
chrisxr2 said:
Its basic manners to at least buy something surely.
+1, as natural as it may be it could potentially put off paying customers coming in surely? Not sure what you hope to gain from complaining either, free spuds as compo? Plus I'd have thought it was common courtesy to ask before you go in a shop and just start breastfeeding, I think I'd be pretty pissed off it was my shop and somebody came in and did it. Edited by Ilovetwiglets on Sunday 6th March 16:57
deckster said:
You buy something first, then sit down after. Doesn't matter whether you're breast feeding, reading the paper, or writing a novel. Just sitting down is plain rude no matter which way you cut it, and playing the breast-feeding card (on mother's day!!! oh noes!!!!) does your wife no favours at all.
Easy to say but when you have a screaming 4 month old child, not so simple to put into practice.Obviously if I'm there, then I go and buy the coffee etc. while she gets on with the feeding.
So the consensus seems to be that the breastfeeding woman is in the wrong. I'll get my coat then!
Ilovetwiglets said:
I think I'd be pretty pissed off it was my shop and somebody came in and did it.
Hate to say it, but I agree.Not for my own personal reasons, but thinking as a business owner.
I know lots of people disagree with it in public and it could very well be costing the store money.
Even if your wife did not buy something I think it is still dodgy to just go in and do it (as in I can see why they would be annoyed). Not everyoen is that accomodating.
If I was you I would take it off FB before it goes viral - I daresay yuou will get a lot of support and a lot of abuse.
If I was you I would take it off FB before it goes viral - I daresay yuou will get a lot of support and a lot of abuse.
Jasandjules said:
Ever had a really hungry and grumpy baby? Screaming their head off? First priority is to get the baby fed and comfy, then you get something for yourself.
Yes indeed, two of them in fact. It would never have entered my mind to just sit down in a cafe without first buying something, or at least a quick 'OK if I deal with this before getting a coffee?'. It's just basic manners.andy118run said:
So the consensus seems to be that the breastfeeding woman is in the wrong. I'll get my coat then!
No, but I think the subtleties matter. Walking in and doing whatever a normal paying customer would do, or simply having a quick "I'll order in a moment I just need to take care of the baby" with the staff is different to simply walking in, sitting down in a corner and getting on with feeding the baby and then wondering why the owner might think you're just using the place as a free bench.
If I'm being honest your wifes post does come across a little as if it was more of the latter than the former, whilst your post here seems much more reasonable/balanced.
Always three sides and both us and yourself weren't there.
Hate to say this - but I also feel she was in the wrong. She could have even ordered something and than sat down and paid later, but the lack of dialogue is what seems to have irked the owner on this. How do you know how many times this happens a day/week?
In an ideal world it wouldn't matter if she was/wasn't buying anything at all - but that's sadly not the world we live in.
In an ideal world it wouldn't matter if she was/wasn't buying anything at all - but that's sadly not the world we live in.
Mojooo said:
Even if your wife did not buy something I think it is still dodgy to just go in and do it (as in I can see why they would be annoyed). Not everyoen is that accomodating.
If I was you I would take it off FB before it goes viral - I daresay yuou will get a lot of support and a lot of abuse.
Will see what happens. For every post like this going 'viral' there's probably hundreds disappearing without trace into cyberspace.If I was you I would take it off FB before it goes viral - I daresay yuou will get a lot of support and a lot of abuse.
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