any BIB's got any good speeding sarcasm?
Discussion
...no the misuse of them makes me..
I think I read a funny one a while ago, where gone's partner came up with an absolute classic with a celebrity on the M40.....
Got it. Third post down:
www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?p=3&f=10&t=104943&h=0&hw=Going+for+gold+Henry+Kelly
DAZ
>> Edited by dazren on Thursday 3rd March 13:45
Got it. Third post down:
www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?p=3&f=10&t=104943&h=0&hw=Going+for+gold+Henry+Kelly
DAZ
>> Edited by dazren on Thursday 3rd March 13:45
I was walking home late one Saturday night, along one of the known local "lax-routes" when this plastic-bedecked corsa appeared round a corner closely followed by a Battenburg Volvo estate, and stopped a few yards up the road from me.
I reached the Corsa at approx the same time as Mr Trafpol, and heard his opening gambit "Good evening young sir, I'm a bit confused, you see I thought the German Grand Prix wasn't until tomorrow, and I thought it was taking place in Germany"
the driver started to speak (I couldn't hear him) then Trafpol said "Now now, don't get too nippy on the buzzer there son..." then I was out of listening range... I nearly went back though, just to hear the rest...
I reached the Corsa at approx the same time as Mr Trafpol, and heard his opening gambit "Good evening young sir, I'm a bit confused, you see I thought the German Grand Prix wasn't until tomorrow, and I thought it was taking place in Germany"
the driver started to speak (I couldn't hear him) then Trafpol said "Now now, don't get too nippy on the buzzer there son..." then I was out of listening range... I nearly went back though, just to hear the rest...
forever_driving said:
May just be an urban myth, but I heard that back in the late 80s, Senna was pulled over for speeding somewhere in the UK and the plod said "Who do you think you are? Nigel Mansell?"
IIRC Nigel Mansell was asked this when he was pulled over doing over the ton in a new bentley back in his BTCC days...
BiB to me in a red Pastiche Henley kitcar, with a rather complicated speedo, which we were trying to set up
'Have you any idea what speed you were doing sir?'
Me
'Not really, we're trying to calibrate the speedo with these magnets on the propshaft and I'm baffled'
Him
'Lets put it his way, you're the right colour for a fire engine and a ladder on the roof would really clinch it!'
And he then admired the car and let me go.
This is what discretion is surely all about!
'Have you any idea what speed you were doing sir?'
Me
'Not really, we're trying to calibrate the speedo with these magnets on the propshaft and I'm baffled'
Him
'Lets put it his way, you're the right colour for a fire engine and a ladder on the roof would really clinch it!'
And he then admired the car and let me go.
This is what discretion is surely all about!
forever_driving said:
May just be an urban myth, but I heard that back in the late 80s, Senna was pulled over for speeding somewhere in the UK and the plod said "Who do you think you are? Nigel Mansell?"
That could be a problem ; there are (obviously) people called things like Tony Blair, Margaret Thatcher etc etc.
They could have a problem with Plod, getting nicked because he thinks they are being smart arses.
Aside: Solicitor acquaintance of mine swears there is a road in Leicester near a Cop Shop called Letsby Avenue...
The Old fellow gets stopped a fews ago now,
BiB. Tap! Tap! Tap!,
OF. Yes.
BiB. Good evening Sir, Is this your car Sir?
OF. Why? doesn't it suit me?
BiB. I'm sure It does Sir, but is it your car?
OF. Yes.
BiB. Do you know the registration number Sir?
OF Yes.
BiB. Well, would you like to share that
information with me Sir?
OF. Are you blind officer,
It's printed on two plate like objects,
one on the front, the other on the back!
Sent on his way, officer standing at side of the road shaking his head, but with a rye smile on his face.
BiB. Tap! Tap! Tap!,
OF. Yes.
BiB. Good evening Sir, Is this your car Sir?
OF. Why? doesn't it suit me?
BiB. I'm sure It does Sir, but is it your car?
OF. Yes.
BiB. Do you know the registration number Sir?
OF Yes.
BiB. Well, would you like to share that
information with me Sir?
OF. Are you blind officer,
It's printed on two plate like objects,
one on the front, the other on the back!
Sent on his way, officer standing at side of the road shaking his head, but with a rye smile on his face.
Heard of a guy who raced bikes and tested the engines out by parking his van up by a roundabout on the M6 and then he'd shoot up one carriageway and back down the other.
With no plates etc and the speeds that the bike could reach, he usually evaded any pursuit and could re-load the bike into the back of the van before any BiB could catch him.
One day though his luck ran out as there was a police vehicle parked up behind the van as he returned from a trail run. It was pretty dark and he had no lights etc.
The BiB asked him where his documents were and why the bike had no mirrors, plates and lights etc.
This rather foolish pratt then turned to the officer and said ' What do you think this is, a f***ing christmas tree?'
Don't know the outcome but wouldn't be favourable.
With no plates etc and the speeds that the bike could reach, he usually evaded any pursuit and could re-load the bike into the back of the van before any BiB could catch him.
One day though his luck ran out as there was a police vehicle parked up behind the van as he returned from a trail run. It was pretty dark and he had no lights etc.
The BiB asked him where his documents were and why the bike had no mirrors, plates and lights etc.
This rather foolish pratt then turned to the officer and said ' What do you think this is, a f***ing christmas tree?'
Don't know the outcome but wouldn't be favourable.
[quote]
That could be a problem ; there are (obviously) people called things like Tony Blair, Margaret Thatcher etc etc.
They could have a problem with Plod, getting nicked because he thinks they are being smart arses.
[/quote]
I recall meeting a bloke in a pub whose name really was Damon Hill.
He had a blob of a time when he got pulled.
That could be a problem ; there are (obviously) people called things like Tony Blair, Margaret Thatcher etc etc.
They could have a problem with Plod, getting nicked because he thinks they are being smart arses.
[/quote]
I recall meeting a bloke in a pub whose name really was Damon Hill.
He had a blob of a time when he got pulled.
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