Discussion
Had a phone call off my sister yesterday saying her boyfriend had lost his temper and kicked my nephew who is 10. Im quite shocked as he is a decent chap and they have been together for 6 years now.
They had been on holiday to Portugal and he had been playing up for most of the holiday apparently. Cut long story short my sisters partner had asked him to stop throwing things at the window and then he snapped and kicked him in the side.
This happened outside the villa and a neighbour saw it, unbeknown to them she then called the UK police and today (they are back home) my sister had a knock at the door by a PC who has asked her partner to attend the station next week for a voluntary interview to give his account. The police have contacted social services which I believe is normal practice in these circumstances.
Kicking/lashing out at children isn't on and the guy needs to have a serious word with himself. That said, all children can try the patience at times and, if he's been on the scene six years, I'm guessing this guy has a parent/child relationship with nephew rather than a "Mummy's special friend" relationship which means there shouldn't be an issue with him disciplining per se; just the nature extent.
Leaving the police and social services to one side, what has your sister said/done about this?
Leaving the police and social services to one side, what has your sister said/done about this?
happened in portugal and the first she heard about it was knock on door at her house from Plod. I guess the neighbour was English and noted her UK Car reg down as they took car over (im guessing on that one but most likely) .
My sister was/is livid - and is upset etc. But knows how kids can be and has admited she has flipped her lid before but never lashed out, i guess as all parents have when things get too much.
Her ex husband has now got involved who has been a pain the the arse since the day he met her and now he wants to press charges. She has had dealings with the police on her ex several times for harassment as he wont let go and wants her back and cant accept it etc etc. He wont let this drop and has been on the phone to her today to tell her to leave him asap.
Bloody family's!!!
Happy Christmas!
My sister was/is livid - and is upset etc. But knows how kids can be and has admited she has flipped her lid before but never lashed out, i guess as all parents have when things get too much.
Her ex husband has now got involved who has been a pain the the arse since the day he met her and now he wants to press charges. She has had dealings with the police on her ex several times for harassment as he wont let go and wants her back and cant accept it etc etc. He wont let this drop and has been on the phone to her today to tell her to leave him asap.
Bloody family's!!!
Happy Christmas!
If it happened in Portugal then I don't see what the UK police can do other than try to asses the risk to the child / family and share that information with social services. Any potential offence occurred in Portugal and would be the business of the Portuguese police and prosecuting authority.
If he obtains legal advice I expect he won't be saying anything to the police / may even refuse to attend.
If he obtains legal advice I expect he won't be saying anything to the police / may even refuse to attend.
Th child can be a little soda at times but police /social services involved this wont blow away in 5 mins.
Latest development - he has text her to say she cant have him back while he is still living at the house.
What are the legal implications of this? Is this abduction ? Can a father abduct his own child?
Latest development - he has text her to say she cant have him back while he is still living at the house.
What are the legal implications of this? Is this abduction ? Can a father abduct his own child?
How hard was the kick. Was it a kick or a nudge. Was the child hurt?
The mollycoddle generation does my head in. If I misbehaved, I'd get my backside absolutely leathered. That's how it should be.
If the kick wasn't of a proportional strength, the guy needs to have a word with himself.
The mollycoddle generation does my head in. If I misbehaved, I'd get my backside absolutely leathered. That's how it should be.
If the kick wasn't of a proportional strength, the guy needs to have a word with himself.
jlee said:
Th child can be a little soda at times but police /social services involved this wont blow away in 5 mins.
Latest development - he has text her to say she cant have him back while he is still living at the house.
What are the legal implications of this? Is this abduction ? Can a father abduct his own child?
Is ex named on child's birth certificate, or were your sister and him married at time of child's birth? If so he has equal rights so what he is doing is not abduction. Latest development - he has text her to say she cant have him back while he is still living at the house.
What are the legal implications of this? Is this abduction ? Can a father abduct his own child?
Is she still with the boyfriend? Social services would assess everything but as child is currently safe with dad there is nothing that will be done.
I think without context it's impossible to condemn your sister's partner. We don't know if this was a hard kick or not, we don't even know if the child was upset by it. I would presume if your sister didn't know about it till she got back then there's a good chance it wasn't a violent kick. The partner might just have nudged the child with a foot while relaxing on his sun lounger to stop the child picking up more ammo to chuck at the window. I certainly hope your sister hasn't got involved with a rager though. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
the ex and her were together when he was born so he is on birth certificate.
She said she saw what happened and the The kick was hard enough to make him cry but he had forgotten about it 10 mins later (not trying to trivialise it)
He is naughty and when he comes round to ours i spend fair amount of time telling him off he is being accessed at school for possible adhd or autism. His gran wont have him stop over at her house and childs father also shouts at him fair bit. He once came home and said daddy hits me when im naughty. Not great.
She said she saw what happened and the The kick was hard enough to make him cry but he had forgotten about it 10 mins later (not trying to trivialise it)
He is naughty and when he comes round to ours i spend fair amount of time telling him off he is being accessed at school for possible adhd or autism. His gran wont have him stop over at her house and childs father also shouts at him fair bit. He once came home and said daddy hits me when im naughty. Not great.
jlee said:
He once came home and said daddy hits me when im naughty. Not great.
Pot and kettle regarding the ex taking the moral high ground now then.Not condoning the b/f's actions, but this country is going to be in a world of s
t when these kids grow up without knowing right from wrong because they couldn't be chastised for fear of upsetting them.Yes I think the issue will be is there a mark on the child? If not one can probably get away with it. It was a threat the contact was light, he cried because he was frightened, that was intention to teach him a lesson etc.
If he is bruised then its a lot more difficult, and I guess the partner will e off for anger management lessons.
If he is bruised then its a lot more difficult, and I guess the partner will e off for anger management lessons.
Bigends said:
simoid said:
What's the corporal punishment law these days? Can strike, but not hard enough to leave a mark?
Total no no now - hit someone - its an assaultSmacking and the Law in the United Kingdom
Prior to 1998, British parents were afforded the right to use “reasonable chastisement” to discipline their children but the subjective term “reasonable” was never well explained. In September of that year, the European Court of Human Rights decided that this law did not adequately protect children’s rights and so the Children’s Act of 2004 sought to clarify the laws surrounding smacking. Under Section 58 of the Act, smacking remains legal as long as it does not cause visible bruises, grazes, scratches, swelling or cuts. As of June 2007, these conditions provoked a Ministerial review of Section 58 of the Children’s Act with some Ministers again calling for an outright ban on smacking children. Scotland operates some smacking bans, and strict definitions of “reasonable” punishments. The Northern Ireland Commissioner for Children and Young People is seeking a full and outright ban on smacking children.
http://www.kidsbehaviour.co.uk/smackingandchildren...
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