Divorce - limiting future damage.
Divorce - limiting future damage.
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Discussion

So

Original Poster:

28,176 posts

240 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
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A chap who works for me is separating from his wife, he is in his 30s and has children. He has asked me if I'd help him improve his lot, and I am happy to offer whatever advice I can.

However, I can see a risk that if he works hard and becomes successful his current wife may later try to claim increased maintenance or other monies from him.

I will obviously suggest he sees a solicitor. But, in general terms, how does it work? Is a clean break divorce still a thing, and if so will that allow him to move on safe in the knowledge that his wife won't be able to claim any of his wealth over and above what he has today?


megaphone

11,286 posts

269 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
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I assume the children will live with his wife? If so why would he not want them to benefit from any future income?

PurpleMoonlight

22,362 posts

175 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
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Child Maintenance until children cease A level education.

Division of marital assets is at the time of division, so don't wait.

Possible spousal maintenance based on her need and his ability to pay.

Generally, men/fathers get screwed.

So

Original Poster:

28,176 posts

240 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
quotequote all
megaphone said:
I assume the children will live with his wife? If so why would he not want them to benefit from any future income?
Presumably. He might want them to benefit, but that should be his decision if and when it happens.

Cylon2007

583 posts

96 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
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Yes a 'Clean Break' agreement is still a thing as far as I am aware, I did this in my divorce. However my 'kids' were 15 and 19 at the time and staying with me.

If his kids are younger and staying with the Mum that may well put a different slant on it. Depending on the actual situation the Divorce court may not accept the agreement.

randlemarcus

13,635 posts

249 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
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So said:
megaphone said:
I assume the children will live with his wife? If so why would he not want them to benefit from any future income?
Presumably. He might want them to benefit, but that should be his decision if and when it happens.
It's not though, so you may as well tell him up front. Maintenance until its no longer due. And being a weasel about it just makes him a weasel, so he may as well face up to that one.

So

Original Poster:

28,176 posts

240 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
quotequote all
randlemarcus said:
So said:
megaphone said:
I assume the children will live with his wife? If so why would he not want them to benefit from any future income?
Presumably. He might want them to benefit, but that should be his decision if and when it happens.
It's not though, so you may as well tell him up front. Maintenance until its no longer due. And being a weasel about it just makes him a weasel, so he may as well face up to that one.
Perhaps I haven't been entirely clear. I doubt that he will be seeking to swerve maintenance payments.

What I will be suggesting he avoids is a situation where he divorces now, at his current level of income, then works his nuts off for 15 years, only to have his current wife try to claim a share of his additional wealth. I gather that it can happen.





randlemarcus

13,635 posts

249 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
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Yes, it can, but only by being stupid now. Tell him to ask his solicitor about clean break.

macushla

1,135 posts

84 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
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So said:
megaphone said:
I assume the children will live with his wife? If so why would he not want them to benefit from any future income?
Presumably. He might want them to benefit, but that should be his decision if and when it happens.
Seems that he’s asking you how he can avoid paying anything towards his kids, as he’s so angry at his ex. Seems like a nice guy.

Cue lots of posters attacking me for reading into what’s been posted, but if this wasn’t the case, then there’s no reason for So to post the above.

They’re his kids and he should be prepared to pay for them as long as is necessary, quite possibly into degree education, just as he would’ve had he and his wife stayed together.


So

Original Poster:

28,176 posts

240 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
quotequote all
macushla said:
Seems that he’s asking you how he can avoid paying anything towards his kids, as he’s so angry at his ex. Seems like a nice guy.

Cue lots of posters attacking me for reading into what’s been posted, but if this wasn’t the case, then there’s no reason for So to post the above.

They’re his kids and he should be prepared to pay for them as long as is necessary, quite possibly into degree education, just as he would’ve had he and his wife stayed together.
Perhaps the thread hadn't fully formed before you posted this. Have a read.


cupraben

60 posts

93 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
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What I have always found amusing about child maintenance, is that kids don’t get more expensive if you start to earn more money

Sure if your kids are missing out on something they need/want because you’re income is low and then hugely increases then fair enough. But if your kids are already well cared for, all you are doing is lining your ex partners pockets

I know this wasn’t the subject of the post, but I don’t agree with suggestions that he is in anyway trying to swerve paying maintenance or that his kids are suffering as a result

macushla

1,135 posts

84 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
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So said:
Perhaps the thread hadn't fully formed before you posted this. Have a read.
Ok withdrawn. However, you’re being paranoid. He needs proper legal advice, not the kind of advice you’ll get from the misogynists on here. A clean break is highly possible and the most likely outcome anyway, as long as there’s a fair split of the matrimonial assets. His payment to the kids is a separate issue.

The one important bits of advice to take on board are that the financials bear no relation to who’s at fault for the divorce, he won’t get any sort of closure or revenge, arguing over money just gifts it to solicitors and the kids shouldn’t be used as bargaining chips by either side.

PurpleMoonlight

22,362 posts

175 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
quotequote all
macushla said:
Ok withdrawn. However, you’re being paranoid. He needs proper legal advice, not the kind of advice you’ll get from the misogynists on here. A clean break is highly possible and the most likely outcome anyway, as long as there’s a fair split of the matrimonial assets. His payment to the kids is a separate issue.

Errr, then it's not a clean break dingbat.


randlemarcus

13,635 posts

249 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
quotequote all
PurpleMoonlight said:
Errr, then it's not a clean break dingbat.
Did you actually think that a Clean Break clause in a Consent Order severs either sides legal liability to support their own kids?

PurpleMoonlight

22,362 posts

175 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
quotequote all
randlemarcus said:
Did you actually think that a Clean Break clause in a Consent Order severs either sides legal liability to support their own kids?
Nope, hence not a clean break!

supersport

4,493 posts

245 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
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macushla said:
So said:
Perhaps the thread hadn't fully formed before you posted this. Have a read.
The one important bits of advice to take on board are that the financials bear no relation to who’s at fault for the divorce, he won’t get any sort of closure or revenge, arguing over money just gifts it to solicitors and the kids shouldn’t be used as bargaining chips by either side.
Exactly this!

Sort of sounds like OP is advising to not work hard and better himself just in case wifey comes back for more. Sounds like shooting you self in the foot.

So

Original Poster:

28,176 posts

240 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
quotequote all

Okay, so the gist is that a clean break is achievable. This will ensure that his ex-wife cannot benefit from his future hard work if he improves his lot.

With regard to his children, I don't know how old they are. I imagine they are in their teens, because he was married very young.

I suspect that the chap has it in him to do well, but he is starting from a low base. In reality, it is probably quite likely that his children will be north of eighteen before he has enough wealth to worry about.

I am going to suggest he gets some legal advice, get the divorce and split of assets agreed with his wife with as little involvement with lawyers as possible, but have whatever the final agreement is drawn up by a solicitor.


So

Original Poster:

28,176 posts

240 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
quotequote all
supersport said:
Sort of sounds like OP is advising to not work hard and better himself just in case wifey comes back for more. Sounds like shooting you self in the foot.
You couldn't be more wrong, and I am not sure how you could have arrived at that conclusion if you've actually read what I have written.



MYOB

5,066 posts

156 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
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PurpleMoonlight said:
randlemarcus said:
Did you actually think that a Clean Break clause in a Consent Order severs either sides legal liability to support their own kids?
Nope, hence not a clean break!
I thought child maintenance was a separate issue from the divorce settlement? I assumed a clean break, that is, agree on finances and get a clean break. Child maintenance is a separate issue.

Obviously if there's spousal maintenance, there is no clean break.

macushla

1,135 posts

84 months

Sunday 20th January 2019
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MYOB said:
PurpleMoonlight said:
randlemarcus said:
Did you actually think that a Clean Break clause in a Consent Order severs either sides legal liability to support their own kids?
Nope, hence not a clean break!
I thought child maintenance was a separate issue from the divorce settlement? I assumed a clean break, that is, agree on finances and get a clean break. Child maintenance is a separate issue.

Obviously if there's spousal maintenance, there is no clean break.
It is but don’t bother trying to educate the illinformed misogynists